18/19 month age gap

[MamaT1992]

I am potentially going to end up with an 18/19 month age gap for my children due to a possible second pregnancy (but 2 school years apart) but I'm nervous about struggling to cope. Please can I hear positive stories. Thanks :-)

I had a deliberate 17 month gap. In for a penny, in for a pound 😄

First 6 months were hard and then it was just fine. Wouldn't have done it any different.

I have an 18 month gap, 1 school year apart. Works really well. I also have a 2 year gap between dc2 & 3.

They all enjoy similar days out, all have a similar routine with school, bedtime etc & all get on pretty well most of the time.

There's pros and cons of big age gaps as well as smaller age gaps x the first couple of years will be tough but then it'll pay off, as opposed to being sleep deprived for ten years as my partner says! 😂

From an alternative perspective, my sister and I are 19m apart and were (usually) the best of friends growing up. I've opted for a longer age gap myself just because I struggled with PND, but it would have been nice!

2 boys 18 months apart (now 14 & 12).

I bought a side by side twin pushchair as 28 month was a late walker but also at that age I imagine most will still get tired (and it helps to keep snacks/toys you can keep them entertained with when you want them to sit in pushchair!). I got a 3 wheel/360’ nicker but reviews will he’ll you find one that suits

A sling for the baby will help you, as you still have to get lunch and drinks etc for your toddler

Make a special box of toys if books that can be kept separate from their other things, then if you need to keep toddler busy when feeding baby they can choose a special thing from the box and put it back afterwards (complete kidology but will create positive associations with you feeding baby)

It was honestly not as hard as people will have you believe, as long as you lower your expectations of yourself. If you have two babies under 2, and someone comes to the house and you’re not dressed and the house is a tip, no one will judge. On those days, cuddling up in front of CBeebies is your friend (allows you to dose too!)

Before baby comes, spend time on their independence. If you can put a peg for their coat at their height, And ‘train’ them to fetch it and their shoes, put it on themselves etc, getting shit done and getting out of the house will be easier. Train them to climb into their car seat themselves as soon as possible too, especially if you get massive and slow in late pregnancy and after giving birth

It’ll be fine! It’s easier having two in nappies than toilet training with a newborn. We have 21months between 1 and 2 and 23 months between 2 and 3. Not quite such a short gap but it was all good. It’s actually really nice having them all grow up and play together with similar interests.

I have 15 months between mine but two school years, they are very close and have always adored each other. However, the first year with two is a blur, I remember nothing, I was exhausted but this was not helped by the fact my DH was so busy with work, I was essentially a single parent.

Thanks so much all. That's really helpful and makes me feel less nervous and more excited. I'll be going back to work after maternity leave 2/3 months pregnant so very nervous to tell them but it can't be helped and I might try and wait until 4 months to tell them.

Hey - I had 18 months apart between my first and my second, and 24 months apart between the second and the third. It is absolutely doable, even thoug a little nightmare at the beginnning - until you get used to the rhytm of the situation. My first son not liking strollers much, he tried to run everywhere, so a double stroller wasn't really necessary - I went for just one and an ergo baby carrier. I did try different strollers, even double ones, afterward, though, my second and third sons liked strollers much more than the forst.

Still, I cannot recommend highly enough the use of an ergonomic carrier complementing the use of a stroller. If thinking about double strollers, I recommend an article I wrote, comparing side by side strollers and tandems (if you needed help in that area).

Also, I will recommend breathing and letting it all happen, rather than obsessing with all that can go wrong. It probably will :-) but it will be ok. Just don't get stuck at home and go out often, let your children play and "get dirty" - they'll be happy they can.