Any 4 year olds with similar difficulties?

[Tiredmummy224]

Hi all
So I'm just hoping someone may have 4 year old who behaves/struggles with same things and tell me if they're diagnosed with anything?
I'm not really sure how to ask I guess what I mean, my 4 year old is not diagnosed with anything but yet he clearly cannot do stuff other children his age or younger can do and because I don't know what's causing it I have no idea how I can even begin to help him
He's meant to start school in September and it's really stressing me
I guess easiest is to just list some stuff he does/can't do and hope any of you deal with similar and maybe any advice?
-doesn't talk, he attempts to say few very basic easy single words eg cat buy can't say them properly, our 19 month old pronanunces words better and can say way more
-quite limited understanding on what others say to him, can understand most everyday commands but anything new and he's lost
-he rarely pays attention and very rarely will look at me when speaking to him
-when trying to get him to repeat words he usually just shouts random notices and doesn't even attempts to try
-he spends most of his day shouting different sounds on top of his voice, again completely random noises and if asked to stop eg because trying to get him to focus on what I'm trying to say he just carries on
-won't sit still, he's constantly on a move, it's a nightmare during for example speavh therapy appointments as atm they're online through video and he won't sit for a minute to try and do whatever they need him to he keeps running around or doing his own thing not paying any attention
-not potty train, doesn't understand the idea of potty training at all, doesn't even want to try. We keep trying but it's same thing, even if he wet himself he would just sit in it and make no attempt to try and show anything is wrong, if he poops, again won't even show any signs of discomfort or wanting his nappy changed
-can't do most basic things for himself eg 19 month old can take of his clothes himself, 4 year old can't do any of that and no matter how much I try to help him to learn it he just cries when I try, can't put on clothes by himself either, onyl things he can do is take off his socks or shoes as long as theyre simple to slip off, and will take off his coat if it's unzipped for him

• I am sure if I just let him walk off on his own somewhere he would walk into the road without paying attention where he's going and get hit by a car because he has no danger awerness either and relies on me to hold him back when getting near the road and despite every time trying to explain we must look first to see if it's safe he pays no attention

Now he can do stuff perfectly like walking climbing running throwing etc and can do stuff like puzzles and other similar games that require a bit of thinking for example on tablet but in normal everyday stuff he really struggles

I apologise for super long post, I'm hoping anyone has similar and can try and point me in what this could be or how to help him?

@Elisheva thank you didn't realise there's a board for that, I'll take a look

@CloudyGladys I didn't think about hearing, he seems to hear fine but its a worth a check so I'll get that sorted

@SleepingStandingUp regular soft poops sometimes a bit on the loose side but not diarhea kind of loose
We will practice makaton and see if there's any improvement with communication

@LadyCatStark I've spoken to his health visitor, it's my bad I understood wrong before what the other referral she's made was, it was to centre that deals with all kinds of developmental delays, difficulties and disabilities and they will assess him its just wait for them to get in touch with us regarding first appointment

@BingBongToTheMoon it's partly my fault I should of seen signs much earlier I was just under impression that nobody said that his behaviour etc is different so I thought it cant be more than speech related but at very least I know definitely now that there's definitely reasons for concern

@lorisparkle assuming he does get diagnosed with something more than speech delay, what support is there available?
Thank you I will check out both!

@KnottyKnitting spoken to health visitor referral for assessment with Centre that deals with it has been sorted so it's just waiting now for the assessment to be done
He's not had hearing check I didn't think there was anything wrong with it as usually he seems to hear perfectly well but I will get that sorted

Children with hearing losses can still appear to hear and react to sounds but may not be able to hear all speech sounds which can have a significant impact on their receptive and expressive language skills. You might be right but worth having it checked.

One little boy I support was strongly suspected of being on the autistic spectrum by his health visitor and also the nursery he attended- and it turned out he had a moderate hearing loss. Pair of hearing aids and he was a different child.

I am so glad that your ds has had the necessary referrals, it can take time.

With my ds1 the support he needed at school was as much about understanding his speech difficulties as I did the speech therapy at home. They focused on supporting his reading and writing (as he was later diagnosed with dyslexia), his social skills (he was later diagnosed with atypical autism) and his physical skills (he was later diagnosed with dyspraxia).

I found support at school varied very much depending on the teacher and SENCO. I had a few 'tiger mummy' incidents when I had to fight for him.

It is so easy to not be aware of things, especially with your first. I missed things with ds2 because he did not seem as bad as ds1 and it wasn't until he was really struggling that I started pushing again.

Fingers crossed your appointment comes through soon.

Just to say we thought ds1 could hear fine but it turns out he had intermittent hearing loss caused by glue ear. Whether that did impact on his speech we will never know. I am surprised the speech therapist did not recommend a hearing test as we were advised to get a referral before ds1 started speech therapy.

@Tiredmummy224 have you got an update on your little one. In a similar boat with my DD

@121314mum

Hi! Yes I do, he's going to be 6 in few weeks. He's got regular speech therapy sessions still and is under occupational therapy also. Few weeks ago we finally got Autism diagnosis. Very long road but there has been some (although small) improvements. Hope you're doing okay!

@Tiredmummy224 thanks for the update how does your little one find school? Is he at a MAinstream school , if you dont mind me asking. I am not sure what school to send my dd to

@121314mum
Yes he's at mainstream school although his school is very small and they get a lot of SEN children so they're working well with him. He loves it actually, even I was surprised how much he enjoyed going school. He seemed to make some friends and improved quite a bit since starting so the experience for us has been good.

School decisions are difficult and I remember how stressed I was before he started but luckily didn't have much to worry about. Hope the experience goes well for you. Isr youdaughter starting school September?

@Tiredmummy224 yes she is, we just sent off for an ehcp today so will see what happens. I really do want to give mainstream a chance but i have this niggling feeling that if ehcp actually recommends her to go special i need to take the place as i know they are so rare to get.