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Original poster

Keeping child off school to meet new baby

36 replies

Dp857 · 24/03/2021 06:50

Hi,

I'm due to have a scheduled c-section in a couple of months. DD is 5 and currently attending primary school. Due to Covid restrictions when new baby arrives she won't be allowed to visit us in hospital as only my husband is allowed in during reduced visiting times.

My husband and I have already agreed that during the day of my csection and the following days I'll be in hospital that DD should carry on going to school as normal with the help of family picking up/dropping off. We are thinking about keeping her home from school for a couple of days after I return home with the baby so she's meets the baby properly and isn't just sent off to school out the way during this big family change.

Has anyone else done this and do you think the school will be okay with this? Obviously these aren't 'normal' circumstances because if it wasn't for the new restrictions DD would be meeting the new baby in hospital and hopefully feeling involved from the beginning.

Just wanted some other opinions really :) thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Superstardjs · 24/03/2021 06:59

I really dont think a couple of days is necessary. Excited as she may be re new baby, after about 3 seconds she is likely to have switched attention elsewhere- babies are very boring, quite irritating and she cannot play with it, so keeping her home to watch you feed it or listen to it cry is pointless. You are very unlikely to be in hospital over a weekend, so she can meet baby after school when you come home. If you have just had a csection and are knackered, entertaining a 5 yr old may not be the charming, idyllic couple of days you hope for.

HelloDulling · 24/03/2021 07:00

I’m sure school will be fine, but you might find that she’s happier sticking to her familiar routine.

ApplestheHare · 24/03/2021 07:00

I had my second by elcs in 2019, so before the pandemic. They plan to get you up and about quickly, so I'd not planned to have anyone visit, including the 5yo DD who was very excited to become a big sister. I was out within 24 hours and the girls met at home but a new baby really doesn't hold a 5yo's attention for long.

We kept the normal routine going and I think it helped DD with the transition. She loved seeing the baby before and after school, but it wasn't like she'd have been any more involved if she'd have stayed at home. I used to do things with the baby after DD got back from school (e.g.baby bath) to help her feel involved then could just rest with the baby during the day. Getting plenty of rest in the early days meant I could be up and about with my elder dd sooner.

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Roselilly36 · 24/03/2021 07:01

What an exciting time for you all OP .

Personally, I will keep up the usual routine for your child, let her go to school & be with her friends, the school day is quite short.

You can rest, bond with the baby, and give attention to your older child when they get home from school.

My DS was under 2 when I had my second DS, he didn’t pay him much attention at all, to be honest.

Wishing you all the very best for you’re new arrival.

PyjamasOClock · 24/03/2021 07:02

Most people are out the next day these days post section. You'll be sore and sleep deprived, and she'll be bouncy and bored. I'd send her to school, loads of time before and after for her to be involved.

Dozer · 24/03/2021 07:03

Would just send her to school as usual.

user1493413286 · 24/03/2021 07:03

I think it’s often better to keep them in their normal routine as otherwise everything is so here and there that they don’t know how to act and what’s expected of them.
It’s likely that you’ll be home pretty quickly so she will feel involved from the beginning.

LouLou198 · 24/03/2021 07:04

I had dd2 when dd1 was a similar age. I kept her in school, to be honest it never occurred to me to keep her at home. It was nice to have a bit of time alone with the new baby to establish feeding etc.

noscoobydoodle · 24/03/2021 07:05

We had our 3rd last year. He came overnight and we got out of hospital the next morning and our older 2 (4 and 6) had a couple of hours off school to meet him when he arrived home and then went into school. They were bouncing off the walls to go and tell their friends and teachers. They

noscoobydoodle · 24/03/2021 07:06

Once they had held him and kissed him a few times, they were bored of him!

bonfireheart · 24/03/2021 07:07

I'd send DD to school because you'll have your hands full anyway and it'd be nice for it to be just you, DH and baby - and then DD has the weekend to spend with you all. Plus the pandemic means no one can visit you at home anyway so it will be just the four of you for a while, giving DD plenty of time to get to know new baby. Pretty sure there will be another half term holiday around the same time.

RampantIvy · 24/03/2021 07:10

I agree with previous posters. You will just have the extra burden of trying to keep a 5 year old entertained when you will be feeling sore and tired. Keeping to your DD's routine is the best way forward. She will get bored with the baby after 5 minutes anyway.

cryh · 24/03/2021 07:12

I had similar gaps between kids but carried on with normal routines, I think you create more potential for issues by disrupting. Talk about how important it is the baby doesn't interfere with school routines and how her schooling is a top priority.

By prioritising the baby over school, you are basically telling her the new sibling has the power to fuck up her life and stop her seeing friends! I don't think it is the nice message you mean it to be.

Rover83 · 24/03/2021 07:13

The school won't approve it, if your daughter isnt compulsory school age then it doesnt matter as she doesnt 'have' to attend school.

My children are 4 and 5, their baby sibling was in NICU for 3 weeks. I managed to get home with the baby after school one day and they went off to school the next day. Newborns are boring at 5 when you cant help to feed them and all they do is eat, sleep and poo.

MindyStClaire · 24/03/2021 07:14

Honestly I wouldn't. The normal routine will help her, and you'll be glad of a few hours with one fewer child at home.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 24/03/2021 07:17

Send her to school or maybe have the morning together? She will be excited to tell her teacher all about her new sibling and you will appreciate a few hours with just you and the baby. If she is reluctant you can phrase that it's because she is the big girl that does so much she goes to school and the baby is small so will only be sleeping and feeding.

Not in the pandemic but my youngest we had grandparents take to school and they had time off school the following day to visit during visiting hours but that was an afternoon (I think) so left an hour early and then that was it - school routine stayed the same. They appreciated the consistent routine that hadnt changed when home was different

starbrightstarlight8888 · 24/03/2021 07:17

Who will look after her during the day? You'll be busy and sore with your newborn. Plus she'll be bored of it after an initial cuddle. I'd send her to school.

Spied · 24/03/2021 07:19

Is not upset her routine. Plus what would she actually do all day at home?

Spied · 24/03/2021 07:19

OppsUpsSide · 24/03/2021 07:25

I’d keep her home personally, whilst schools are unlikely to ‘approve’ it they are also unlikely to fine you.
But it really depends on your DD, you know her best.

OppsUpsSide · 24/03/2021 07:26

Who will look after her during the day?

Presumably her father might have some input.

Springingintospring · 24/03/2021 07:26

No way. Send her to school. Familiarity will be good for her through the change of new baby and you don't have to worry about entertaining her while trying to breastfeed/recovering etc. She'll see enough of new baby after school and at weekends.
Plus, kids really need to be in school right now.

hellywelly3 · 24/03/2021 07:38

She’ll want to tell all friends at school. She’s only there for 6 hours, you need time just with the newborn to bond.

londongirl12 · 24/03/2021 07:58

Send her to school. She'll only be interested for a little bit, and then want your attention, which you'll not be able to give her. So it could all end up worse.

AmelieTaylor · 24/03/2021 09:24

Frame it, you have a unanimous thread!

Her routine & school friends is a better option she'll soon be bored of a baby she can't do much with. Sadly siblings are mostly a disappointment fir a long time because they don't play....

Best wishes for the birth.

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