Can Ex stop me using nursery?!

[YummyMummy2019]

I have recently split with my ex, who is now saying our toddler cannot sign up to nursery while I work unless he gives me permission to do so?

As far as I was aware as long as he knows where it is and has contact details for the nursery then I am absolutely fine to sign him up. He is on the BC so has parental rights. But I have no issues in any way in letting him know where our son is.

Cant get in with my solicitor until next week so any advice here would be amazing!

Admittedly I've never been a single parent but I've never been asked for secondary permission when signing any of my kids up for nursery so I wouldn't assume there's anything he can do about it

Sounds like he's trying to exert controlm

He is bonkers and just trying his luck. Of course you can sign your child up for nursery. You probably can't get him to pay for it though.

Depends on the split? What’s he going to do with his 50% shared care? Who’s having the child whilst he works?

Tread carefully. If you sign up to nursery make sure it’s for the days you need them and don’t pay for his share.

That is fine I am paying for it myself as I work, but I work full time and due to covid I am based at home! So it is impossible to work with a toddler full time. So I am signing him up to an ousted outstanding nursery 0.3 miles from my house.
I cant see any reason that he would have an issue. But apparently his "solicitor" has told him I cant do this without his approval....

@BluebellsGreenbells

Depends on the split? What’s he going to do with his 50% shared care? Who’s having the child whilst he works?

Tread carefully. If you sign up to nursery make sure it’s for the days you need them and don’t pay for his share.

Hi Bluebells,

So at the moment he will be doing weekends due to his own work. So I am only singing him up for Mon-Thurs 4 afternoon sessions while I work from home x

So does he pay maintenance as you have him more than 50% of the time?

@BluebellsGreenbells

So does he pay maintenance as you have him more than 50% of the time?

Not yet no, I have applied though! So fingers crossed within 6 weeks x

It's none of his business how you look after him as long as he is looked after. You could leave him in the charge of the SAS if you want.

Ignore him and do what you need to.

That's madness. Surely if DS is home with you and you need to work then you need childcare. He can offer childcare himself. It sounds like he's trying to stop you working and control you. I think it's probably better to do more hours nursery if you're FT?

@converseandjeans

That's madness. Surely if DS is home with you and you need to work then you need childcare. He can offer childcare himself. It sounds like he's trying to stop you working and control you. I think it's probably better to do more hours nursery if you're FT?

I was going to slightly increase but was worried he use this against me as he is already touting that I am an "unfit mother"

His solicitor wouldn’t have said that because it’s not true. Does he actually want to look after the child himself when you need them to go to nursery? Or is he just being a controlling prick?

I think if he has parental responsibility, he must have a say in where your child is educated, but nursery is childcare, not education? So I think he is just bluffing (but I am no expert)

@Insomnia5

His solicitor wouldn’t have said that because it’s not true. Does he actually want to look after the child himself when you need them to go to nursery? Or is he just being a controlling prick?

Could not have worded it better myself!

He doesn't have parental rights he has parental responsibility.