Siblings of different genders with larger age gap?

[emarys81]

Hi all, I hope I am posting in the right place. I am feeling very lucky to have reached 13 weeks pregnant after multiple miscarriages and other obstacles to having my second child. My DD will be 5 in a couple of months, and 5yrs 4mths approximately when baby is due. She has been wanting a little sister (or brother...) for a long time and I am thrilled to be able to give her one however, having done the Harmony test due to my age, we now know it's a boy! I know she will be disappointed it's not a girl, but I hope she will be happy it's coming at all. My own worry is that a bigger age gap was already going to be challenging in terms of compatible interests etc, and that opposite genders will only make this more so. I am worried they may not be as close either growing up or when older as DD and a little sister might have been. So I guess I'm looking for reassuring stories of opposite-gender siblings with age gaps over 4 years, either your own children or yourselves and your siblings. Thanks for anything you can offer, I'm feeling nervous!

Thank you @GiveTheGirlAGun, that is so kind of you to say and yes, I do think times and attitudes have changed in general. I'm certainly going to try hard to avoid creating any unnecessary sources of resentment – though I'm sure I'll mess up here and there!

Thanks @Bobbi73, that is great to hear. Even if they are not best buddies I'll just be pleased if they have a positive relationship and feel they have each other to turn to when they're older.

I have 2 girls with a 2 year gap and then a 4.5 gap to their brother. I found the larger age gap much easier. The 4.5 year old doted on her baby brother (but would of course have preferred a sister if asked beforehand!). She loves showing him different books and toys, feeding him etc. School were actually brilliant as well making her feel really special for becoming a big sister and she took him in to show her teacher and took photos in. Both girls love their little brother and long may it last!

Aww @noscoobydoodle that's so lovely! A really nice idea to bring photos in to school – and possibly the baby himself if we're allowed by then. I was worried that my daughter would maintain her preference for a little sister but we told her this morning and so far she just seems chuffed to have a little sibling at all; she told all her friends at drop-off this morning that she was going to have a baby brother and they got excited with her – so sweet. So I'm feeling much more optimistic today than I did yesterday, in large part thanks to all of you chipping in with such positive stories. Thank you.

I have experience growing up with large(ish) age gaps between me and my siblings. There's 5 of us. The age gaps from me are: 2 years (DSis1), 4 years (DBro1), 7 years (DBro2) and 13 years (DSis2).

From what I remember of my youngest brother was that he was a holy terror as a toddler. He came as a bit of a shock to my mother. She came to realise she'd actually had 3 comparatively mild mannered toddlers previously. Biting, pinching, scratching, destructive, and tantrums galore. Thankfully he grew out of it, and is a thoroughly decent adult now. As the youngest (at the time) he got away with a lot. Him and our other brother couldn't be more different personality wise. If anything, personality clashes were the biggest reason for fights in our house, rather than age gaps.

My youngest sister, on the other hand, was an incredibly sweet child. She was very much a surprise baby. I moved away when she was 5, so I don't have many memories growing up with her. I do remember though, that our other sister absolutely doted on her, and our brothers were incredibly protective of her.

I have three older brothers who are 5, 7, and 9 years older than me! I adore them and (I think) they've always adored me. It's certainly different than having siblings close in age; when they played with me, it was typically games far below their interest level. I think it was fun and even entertaining for them, though, and it only gets better as you get older and age differences become unimportant.