Am I weird to not have had a night out with DH since DS was born (16 months) and not actually be that bothered?

[ceebee74]

Just wondered because family and friends think we must be a bit strange.

We don't really have anyone to babysit for us apart from my sister who has 3 children of her own, a full-time busy job and lots of out of school activities.

We never really went out much before DS was born - usually out for a meal or occasionally to the cinema. Now if we want to go out for a meal, we just go earlier in the evening and take DS with us.

We have had the odd day to ourselves when DS has gone to nursery and we have had time off work (perhaps a couple of times) and we have gone shopping for the day etc.

We go out seperately occasionally with friends but never together. It really doesn't bother me or DH that we spend every evening at home - but is that normal? If we had a big event to go to then I would probably ask my sister to babysit but it doesn't seem worth it just for a meal out or a trip to the cinema.

We're the same

my mum keeps offering to babysit ds (only 6 mo) so we can go out, it's very kind of her, but we didn't go out much before he was born so have no desire to go out now! Am looking forward to going for meals now he's bigger but will take him with us, as you say.
Am looking forward to a meal out or something with dh, but don't feel in any hurry, and would rather not leave ds until he's older.

We're quite similar - we've probably been out together four or five times since DS was born 15 months ago. I've not been out that much at all really with or without DP - but I don't have the urge to any more, I'd rather stay in nowadays - maybe I'm old before my time!

If you're happy with it and your relationship isn't suffering don't worry!

I went out for the first time with DH (to my sisters birthday, not a date or anything!) a few weeks ago, DS is 19 months. It didn't bother me, I contemplated it but then just want to take DS along with me, or get a takeaway we can all enjoy! We will probably have our Wedding Anniversary without DS for the evening/night, but, knowing us we will just have a family day instead! Part of the reason I guess is not trusting many people to look after DS anyway, I worry so much I then think "oh, we might as well stay at home".

Sounds like you're both happy with this, why worry about what the others think.

If I was your sister I'd be glad you were saving the babysitting offers for really important events.

Did ppl say the same things (that you're weird) before you had your child? Why is it OK now to be rude?

ds1 is 2.5 and we haven't been out together at all without him since his birth. Very, very occasionally one or the other of usd went out on our own ( now we have ds2 so at least for me that's no longer on the agenda). We are not bothered either.

If you feel that your relationship is strong and doesn't need to be nurtured by spending time together in the evenings away from the home - then that's fine.

No, we're the same, too.

We do not have any family around us and we live in a rural area.

We were never 'going out' people, anyhow.

If it makes you happy, why is it weird?

We all know what you get up to on your nights in though, expat .

Not weird at all - dw and I have had exactly 5 nights out
together since dd's arrival 16 months ago.

dw does see loads of people during the day
and at weekends I often look after dd
so missus can hit the Town sans toddler.

And of course when we are at home we make sure we have a laugh
together cooking, chatting, dancing, even the odd oil-based activity!

We do know a few people, though, who were desperate to go out
within a few months after giving birth, sleeptrained their babies
from the word go and extensively use online babysitting services.

Horses for courses.

ceebee74 were the same too. We have been out for a meal or to the pub a couple of times on our own but we spend most of the time talking about the children when we are out.
Both our boys are old enough to eat out with us now so we all go together anyway.
Realy doesnt bother me at all tbh.

I think the fact that you didn't have a massively active social life before you had a baby is the reason you don't miss it much, now. I was out loads before my son came along, and so was gagging for a night out by the time he was about 3 months old.

Thanks for all this - you have made me feel better (not that I was overly bothered about what other people think anyway.)

We do get plenty of 'me' time each as we both go to the gym (seperately of course) 3 or 4 times a week and DH tends to take DS to his mums for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon so I can shop, sleep, whatever.

Christina - people didn't say anything before as we went out for meals probably once a week - but even then we usually went out at about 6ish and be back home for 8!

DaddyJ - lol at the oil-based activities - I don't know what you mean! You are right about 'horses for courses' though as we have friends who DS is a month younger and they have been leaving him overnight one night a week with gp's pretty much since he was born - even if we had gp's locally, I don't think I would want to do that.

see? you don't need to go out to keep entertained.

We're also the same - it used to be a standing joke when we were going out that we never actually went out all that much!

We very rarely go out as a couple, but I do go out to a badminton club once a week and have various meetings to go to. DH isn't bothered about going out - quite happy at home with his PC!

I would say that the few times we have gone out (e.g. meal out for wedding anniversary) have been really, really nice. So good to have a genuinely peaceful meal with grown-up conversation that you know is not going to be interrupted. So even if you don't feel the need, maybe it's worth making sure you do do it from time to time?