What is reasonable to expect of a 3.5 year old at mealtimes?

[MonChoufleur123]

To sit on their bottom in their chair facing forwards
To use or try to use a fork and spoon not their hands
To try everything on their plate (don't have to finish it)
To participate in mealtimes for around 15 mins (don't mind if they get down before we have finished if they can play quietly without interrupting)
To ask before leaving the table.
I want to make sure I'm being consistent and reasonable in what is expected so boundaries are clear. Currently mealtimes feel like a bit of a battle!
As first time mum would really welcome feedback on whether I am asking enough / too much /too little. Thank you.

This sounds reasonable to me, very similar to what we expect from our 3.5 year old

Thank you!

I have to remind my 3.5yr old of many of these things but she can follow the requests

Sounds reasonable/normal to ask & work towards, but it's not an overnight thing,

Make sure they're a good height for the table (might need a booster seat) as being too low is very uncomfortable and makes them fidget more than normal!!

All reasonable aims but don’t expect perfection. In fact all excellent aims...please keep them. But go gently, I still have to remind DS1 (8) of most of these occasionally.

Same rules here plus I expect my 3 year old to take their plate to the kitchen when they are done.

Perfectly reasonable. Mine didn't get down until we all finished either. If guests etc came it would be longer than 15 mins. We did this from when they could sit in a high chair

I’d add no toys at the table unless finished eating.

I was always lenient with ours if they had finished their first course before us; they were allowed to get down until the pud came. It does not seem to have done them any harm.

If you don't want mealtimes to be a battle, you might have to bend a bit - every child is different.

I have exactly the same expectations and rules OP. I think v reasonable for my child although others might struggle.

This is all reasonable.
I still have to remind my tweens about some of it.

I used to think that parenting was something where you would get to tick a box, like, table manners taught, tick.Then it wouldn't need to be covered again.

I now fear this was wildly over optimistic.

Thanks all good to know we are on the right track! It is definitely a work in progress!

We are similar, DS is 4 in June. I don’t expect him to try everything on the plate if he doesn’t want to, I would hate to have that demanded of me. Meal times are light and breezy.

At that age I would be relaxed about how they eat - my main focus would be on getting them to hopefully have some nutritious food.

I often fed mine while they watched a cartoon or let them run off to play with toys in between mouthfuls!

They are older now and well able to sit down and eat a meal- following all social norms.