12 week old and naps

[Lionstigersandelephants]

My 12 week old has always struggled to nap. I keep reading their awake window should only be around an hour and a half but mine can easily go for four hours. Then in the evening is exhausted and screaming, goes to sleep crazy early then wakes in the night.

I’m sure she isn’t getting enough sleep - now can I get her to sleep in the day a bit more?

We had the same issue. Have you tried contact napping, going for walks and napping in the pram or sling? At that age, mine would only sleep in the sling being bounced. Then over time I would feed her to sleep and contact nap. Some might say these are 'bad habits' but you've got to do what works for you.

How does she like to go to sleep at night? How Long does she sleep for when she does finally nap and at what times? Does she have reflux at all? It's such a tricky one because they're so young and there are so many different factors.

Babies can be good at getting a second wind if needed, so it’s easy with some to miss out the naps they need. When you say she can easily go for four hours do you mean that she simply won’t nap if you try to put her down earlier, or that you don’t try because she seems fine? My middle child always seemed completely awake in the day and not showing any signs of tiredness. Once I reminded myself about awake windows for different ages I tried putting him down earlier, as I realised I’d been keeping him awake quite a lot more than was recommended for his age. When I took him for a nap earlier and he was in sight of his bed he started rubbing his eyes and giving all the sleep cues that he hadn’t bothered with when he was happily playing downstairs. So it may be worth trying her earlier. But if you have been doing so and she is resistant then I’d also keep in mind that 12 weeks is still pretty early to get into a reliable routine with naps. My three only settled into a reliable pattern around four months. Before that we were mainly using the pram or a baby carrier to get them to sleep they needed. The fact that they would usually go to sleep in those ways without much protest showed that they did need the sleep. And they will settle to a reliable pattern in their cot, or whatever you preference is, a little later on.

She won’t sleep if you put her down. I do try holding, rocking, white noise but no luck! Walks are hit and miss, same with the car.

Nights are OK - unsettled between 2 and 3 but will go back down.

No advice but following with interest. My 12 week old is very nap resistant. Pretty much the only way I can get her to sleep in the day is by taking her for a walk in the sling. I do 25,000 steps some days! I can sometimes get her to sleep in a reclined vibrating chair but then she without fail wakes after 30 minutes. She sleeps ok at night - still only 3-4 hours at a time but goes back to sleep easily after a feed. So I guess I'm grateful for that, but she does get so grumpy in the evenings and it's not much fun! I'd also love to have a bit more freedom to get stuff done in the day while she naps. The sling is good for my step count but not much else!

It doesn’t sound like there is much you can actively do at this stage then. Others may have more advice, but for many of us naps really are hit and miss at that stage still, so just keep trying them and she will settle into a pattern of her own. I remember with my eldest seeing her pattern emerge after thinking she would never sleep on her own in her Moses basket, but she became a great and v reliable napper. And white noise really helped my third baby.

I really used to struggle with that as well misshoney - it just means you can’t do the old sleep when they do!

Yep, my eldest would only nap in the sling early on and it had to be moving, or a constantly moving pushchair. I’d bounce on a gymnastic ball when at home so I could at least sit down while she slept. I’d look at mums having coffees and reading on a park bench while their baby slept in a pushchair next to them in disbelief. But my subsequent babies were like that. Every time I stopped the pushchair once they were asleep and sat down felt like a small miracle. Tbh naps still feel like a small miracle everyday