I don't know what's wrong with me, I love my 2 year old to absolute bits, I'm so so besotted with her and proud of her however I always have mum guilt because I just don't look forward to our days together in the same way I did when she was a baby.
When she was a baby I loved it (even with sleep deprivation) and I always knew I was a good mummy. Now I just feel rubbish all the time and find these days so exhausting, I hate playing and being dragged to the floor to play make believe constantly, constantly being asked to do things, it can be so overwhelming. I don't know why I hate it so much and it makes me feel so guilty because I know she loves playing with me.
She's not a 'bad' kid even, she obviously has her super testing moments and tantrums but for the most part she's a good kid. I just don't know why I struggle so much :( maybe it would be different if it wasn't lockdown and I could do all the activities I used to do with her before.
I find myself feeling down most days, bored of life and then I cry so many times in the evenings when she's asleep and feel awful for not being better for her even though I know I do a better job than my brain tells me I do.