Bullying already?? They are only four!

[SweetFA]

Sorry for sounding like an overprotective mum - I don't know whether to call it bullying really. But yesterday I went to get my son after lunch, as is our new routine, and found he'd been sent to the office having 'fallen' and bumped his head.
He told me a boy had pushed him over, while saying 'stop following me' - Ds isn't yet aware of other children not wanting his attention, he will follow them if he likes them...emotionally immature I guess.
I can see why this boy got fed up but the problem is that ds has been mentioning this boy, and two other kids whom he says 'hate' him, for about 3 weeks now, and saying they push him around etc. (I thoght they looked nice etc myself)
I've told him to play with the ones who do like him, but he seems to be being made an outcast by these three - I'm sure they don't mean it but it feels like ganging up.
I don't know what to do - I was teased a lot at school and laughed at for no reason, I am afraid in case he gets this too. Should I be concerned? It's been going on a while.

I think you should encourage him to play with others, maybe ask somebody back for tea who isnt one of the boys. It is normal at this age to pick friends even if they are only 4. Ds is just 4and in nursery and has already mentioned a couple of people who he says are naughty and hit etc although nothing to the degree your ds is experiencing. It is normal as a parent to feel concerned and upset but think you just need to try to promote the healthier relationships and maybe speak to his teacher aswell.

Thanks, I asked her to keep an eye this morning, I will see if anything else happens today...

Some other parents approached me regarding another incident yesterday, in which a TA announced that their child had 'viciously punched' my son, in front of everyone - this was untrue and they had merely collided resulting in ds's lip bleeding.

The parents have complained about the TA and I've said I will back them as I think it was outrageous - the poor mother had no sleep last night thinking her child had 'attacked' mine. I'm glad at least that wasn't the case!

I agree with NAB. Its not really bullying and all kids do this. he will learn to negotiate his way in the play ground.

Yes that was a rather nutty title

Agree with scatty and Nab, all kids do some adjusting to the new social situation of playing with other kids- it can be horrible to watch! My friend's daughter pushed my dd over the other day in front of us! I was mortified! But the next week I caught my dd sneakily whacking her! (And she's a very gentle child normally). Sadly we can't protect them from the big 'ol world and the pitfalls and hurts and disapointments that are to come with friendships!

The very best thing you can do is keep very calm and not over-react in front of ds....you don't want him to start thinking YOU are very worried about these boys and instil a huge anxiety in him that may have just got sorted by itself in a few weeks. But it's good to tell the teacher quietly just to make sure. I've watched my dd at 3 be excluded by a group of other kids (who are normally her friends) and she's upset but the next week they're all best pals again. So I try not to worry!!! Good luck with turning off the anxious Mummy switch! It's very hard to do!!