What can I do if my partner has agreed to bring the children back tomorrow for 9 whilst he works 3.5 hours but is now taking them to be watched by someone I do not trust?

[leigh1996]

I was thinking just phone local police or the non emergency one but I really don't know what to do.

I have it in texts we agree it.

There's been a family member my gut feeling is just awful about and he's going to take them there. I've raised my concerns about this family members many times. I've said anyone else I'd feel fine with them watching them but not this family member.

Does anyone know what I should do

Have you made clear that you don't agree to this - and is it your partner or your ex? If you think they aren't safe there I would call the police, yes.

I could not have made it clearer if I tried. I've never had this feeling where my gut sinks thinking my kids are around someone had it the entire 5 years.

Yeah it's my ex partner I have 3 kids with he is having them for the first time over night. And we have in texts he says I'll take them to "x" or bring them back. And I say definitely bring them back. He agrees.

I've raised my concerns so many times I've lost count about how I feel about this family member. Others have shared the same feeling and I've stressed this to my ex partner too but he won't listen to me

Sadly a judge would tell you in his care he can decide who looks after them.
*obviously not a convinced sex offender...
My exh used to collect dc at 8 am on a Saturday to drop them with a babysitter.. When I was home all weekend available to keep them.

Unless the person is on the sex registers list or not allowed young people for any reason there's nothing the police can do.

Even when you have arrangements made by the court the police rarely enforce them and tell you to go back to court to deal with the issue (unless children are at risk of obvious harm)

It sucks but your going to have to go to court, get arrangements formally written up and / or a prohibitive steps order in place - but I don't think theyll do one because you have a 'bad feeling' if there's no proof.

Even if I suspect them to be "creepy" with my two girls?

Kids really have no protection at all- I wouldn't be able to stop him letting this person be involved until he did do something which I fully believe he would. Others have seen and siad too

The fact I have messages saying this will that he will be back for a time will that help?

Maybe my suggestion is daft but could you call someone like NSPCC for advice? I really doubt the police would be able to do anything. I guess you could turn up at the relatives house for when he drops the girls off and take them home?

The babysitter my exh wasn't even a friend.
She was ahem a paid employee..

@trunumber in my state of panic I didn't even think of that- how stupid. Yeah I will do that and just take them back

Call social services if you have doubts. They can advise next steps.

Go and get your kids. Gut instinct is a powerful thing and absolutely no harm will come of them NOT going to this family member and coming home with mum instead.

@GrumpyHoonMain I have in the past phoned the Heath visitor and she just said you can't go around finger pointing and was very rude about it

I didn't know I could phone them because I always thought first point of contact was Hv. I'll give them a phone on Monday to make sure this is never a situation im in again

@Phiphi123 how do I get my ex partner to understand that I've tried in every single way to explain mum gut and I'm honestly at a lost with it

He might not understand it ever especially if it’s a family member he has grown up with and thinks the behaviour is normal. You’ve got parental responsibility for your kids so you can go and get them at any point from someone who doesn’t have PR for them. It’s between you and dad and police won’t do anything for either of you if you can’t agree as he also has PR. If your gut feeling is that strong just go and get them and if needs be you can supervise any time they spend with the family member

@Phiphi123 yeah I'm going to get them as soon as he drops them off. I'm just worried for when it a time he doesn't tell me aww they are going there without him.

Yeah he's grown up with this family member and the family members wife and children let him belittle them and treat them horribly. The way he speaks to his wife and daughter makes me feel sick. My mum and sister met this family member and both instantly said the same as me without me telling them in advance how I felt. But my ex doesn't see this and I can't explain the gut feeling to him he just laughs it off as me being "crazy". I live in constant fear he goes to this family member and leaves the girls there. I can't get through to him and he's a bully himself anything to cause me an inconvenience me or upset me he will do and he knows this will.