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Original poster

Going to start potty training DS and I'm not sure exactly how...

23 replies

suzi2 · 07/11/2007 21:29

I'm getting A LOT of conflicting advice so would appreciate any tips from you guys as you've all been through it!

DS is 27 months and we were going to give potty training a bash when DH is off work in a couple of weeks. No worries if it doesn't work out as we'll do it later, but I have a feeling it'll half work and then I won't know what to do!

Anyway, DS is VERY in control of pooing, so much so that he holds poos until he has privacy or until we tell him it's bedtime and he wants to delay things. He's actually done poos a few seperate times at bedtime to delay it! Anyway, wees are less clear, but he's been nappyless for a couple of hours before a nap a few times and he's not wee'd. So I assume he has control over that.

He's interested in the potty and all things potty and will sit on it momentarily but then gets up and down and just goes back to playing and things. We've never caught anything in it yet, though he hasn't tried it out much. I suspect that he saves anything for when he's wearing a nappy though...

So, what's the best way to give this a shot? Leave the potty in the same room as him, tell him no nappies, put pants on him (or bottomless?), reward charts?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fishie · 07/11/2007 21:33

prepare bribes (sweeties, cars, gold jewellery)
prepare wipes and put away precious rug
take nappy off
tell ds you will be giving bribe for performing in pot
see what happens

Original poster

suzi2 · 07/11/2007 21:35

sounds easy lol

only other potential problem I can think of is that he will only poo in privacy so we're going to have to trust him not to leave us little presents in the wardrobe (his preferred place for pooing)

OP posts:

fishie · 07/11/2007 21:39

take him to woolies or similar to choose sweeties for pooing in pot, make very clear you only get one sweetie for achievement [bitter experience] have a b list sweetie for trying. give him privacy too for poos, get him to ask you v good for awareness.

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haychee · 07/11/2007 21:42

Leave potty in room.
Read books etc to keep him sitting on it.
Leave him with no nappy and expect accidents/mess.
Keep telling him what the potty is for, i used to sing "poo poo in the potty"
If ever you do get a fluke of a wee or a poo in there go bananas like youve just won the lottery!

haychee · 07/11/2007 21:43

If he is soo private he might not like the potty, and may prefer the toilet.

miserymum · 17/11/2007 19:45

I have always potty trained my 3 in the Summer.I found they were more likely to have more accidents in the Winter {cold bum and all that} Buy some knickers/underpants and just let them play in the garden ,with potty nearby, in just their undies and a t shirt.
When they did anything,I made a big fuss saying how clever,what a big boy/girl they are...etc.
I personally wouldn,t recommend even trying until 2 years.still use nappies when going out shopping,etc for a few more weeks yet...
until you,re confidant they wont have a big accident.....
could even let them pick their own underwear ....peppa pig,bob the builder ......for encouragement.....and lots of sweets work!

notnowbernard · 17/11/2007 19:54

He's quite young.

I'd see if he has bladder control first - put him in pants and trousers (important, as most kids I know have much better bladder control when they are bare-bummed!) and see if he tells you when he needs a wee, or goes to the potty/toilet voluntarily. Also, if he is able to tell you if he is wet, and indeed if he is bothered by this!

shrooms · 18/11/2007 00:40

Miserymum - lol deffo right about the shopping ect. I got a bit too excited once Ds was weeing in the potty at home and took him out to sainsbury's in his big boy pants. Didn't go back there for a while

shrooms · 18/11/2007 00:43

And IME, the best approach is calm in times of stress and happy with success. Ds was a bit of a one with the poos at one point and making a fuss over pooed pants made him much worse and wouldn't admit to having had an accident ect. In the end I just left him to it and if he decided to clean himself up or tell me fine, if not, he would be the smelly one...

shrooms · 18/11/2007 00:45

That sounds awful! I have to add that this was in reason - if we had visitors I would tell him to go and take his undies off and get in the shower. I'm not some skank.

seeker · 18/11/2007 06:42

I ALWAYS asay this on potty training threads!

There are two ways to potty train. You can start quite young and you get there in the end, but it's stressfu, you get lots of washing, wet carpets and car seats, you have to ask your child whethere he wants a pee every twonty minutes and you can't go out without a planning schedule aakin to akin to the D-day landings.

Or you can wait, ignoring comments from other mothers, your mother, your mil and total strangers on buses, and one day, probably at around 3 - 3.5 is, your dc will tell you they don't want to wear nappies any more, and will be wearing pants and using the loo from that day on with only the occasional accident when they get the timing wrong.

Buda · 18/11/2007 07:10

Totally agree with seeker. Even though he knows when he is doing a poo and goes off to do in privacy it doesn't necessarily mean he has enough knowledge/control to let you know in good time. And the same for wees.

My DS took about 5 days/1 week but was 2y 11mths.

LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 18/11/2007 07:27

I also agree with seeker - ds was aware of poos LONG before he was with wees. So much so I'd have the kids at the park (other kids were my mindees) and he would panic saying 'poo poo' and refused to go down the slide etc so I thought he needed a nappy change - I'd check and he hadn't done one - 5 mins later he would have done. But he was no way ready. During the Easter break when I had no other kids or outings etc, he cracked it after a few days of messing everywhere. I definitely recommend calm, stress only makes them worry more and less likely to perform. I agree on the treats for rewards - ds used to get chocolate buttons.

madamez · 18/11/2007 10:22

My DS is 3 and a bit and still in nappies. Today I suggested that he wear pants ( we have pants and we have had a couple of failed attempts) and he said no he didn;t want to. Every time I';ve suggested it (every couple of weeks or so since he turned 3) he has refused and seems a bit upset by the idea.
Any advice gratefully recieved...

seeker · 18/11/2007 14:15

See my earlier post, madamez - he;ll get there. Suggest it occasionally, but sooner or later the suggestion will come from him. Then it'll happen. Promise!

halia · 23/11/2007 11:10

okay I'm jumping in, DS is 2 1/2 and he has recently shown some level of interest in his potty (bought a few months ago and left in bathroom) at nursery they are sitting them on the loo at changing time as well - no pressure just pop them down after nappy taken off and before new one put on.

problem is; he has langauge delay so his language skills are only really those of an 18 month old. I dont' want to start until he is a bit older but I'm getting pressure from DH to do it in january.

Nettee · 23/11/2007 15:03

My DS (2.9) regularly says that he doesn't want to wear a nappy, he wants pants. He is very happy to sit on the potty and be read to but only once (probably 6 months ago now) has he ever done anything in the potty. This time round he is at least commenting on having wet pants which I suppose I should see as progress - and I am determined to continue a bit longer this time too - have given up after half a day before. However I think really that Seeker is right. All the other milestones have been on his own timing so why not this one. I have had some pressure from DH as well Halia and i find the answer to that is to have a go when he is not at work and get him to help - that way if ds is not ready yet it is really obvious to DH.

I am a bit nervous about it happening after the age of 3 though as I wonder if preschool will be a bit funny about it. Mind you they take him in nappies now so why should they change their attitude then.

My DS's language is not fab but I think it is good enough to understand about the potty - he still looks at me a bit blankly though when I try to explain.

bumbling · 23/11/2007 17:50

I started today with DS who's 2.7. We've had the potty for sometime and spurred on by hearing debate on Woman's hour debate about not leaving it tooooo late. So when I spotted he was likely to have a poo at breakfast time I asked him if he'd like to try doing it in a potty. He said yes and did it. We clapped and whooped etc nd he was thrilled. So I offered it to him after lunch today and he said yes again and voila another one.

What next, just keep trying the poos for a bit at relevant moments, maybe a quick sit before the bath for a pee (he nearly always pees in the bath ) and then go from there or ...

Nettee · 24/11/2007 08:51

Bumbling - that sounds like brilliant progress - any news on the pees? We had 5 wet pairs of pants yesterday of which he told me about 3 of them. No poos at all since the day before. Will give it till the end of today then back to nappies unless anything changes.

bumbling · 25/11/2007 18:33

Nettee. No! Well that's the short answer. I caught one pee accidentally in the bath! He'd sy on the potty before the bath and said nothing was coming. Got into the bath and stood up immediatley and then peed. That's one of the other thngs that made me thought he was ready. He clearly can tell when one's coming as he often stands up in the bath to pee as I dash for the potty in a pathetic attempt to catch it.

had another couple of poos but am desperate not to get stressed and just introduce the idea. Five pairs of wet pants, but told you about three. Sounds like very good progress too!

Nettee · 26/11/2007 12:09

well I am afraid we are back in nappies. Will probably give it another go next time he says - "want pants, no nappy". Or maybe I should wait until he says - " want wee wee in potty" which he hasn't said yet.......

Sleepdeprived72 · 26/11/2007 20:26

I too had some early success with some wees and poos on the potty but was thwarted by the inability to take down trousers so just weed his pants. When I spoke to my girlfriends they said if DS was not able to take his pants down then he wasn't ready so I stopped. DS is now 2yrs 7mo and has on some instances taken off all his clothes and weed on the potty and then come to tell me so I am guessing he is now ready. Having said that we are moving house in 2 weeks so I have purposely not done anything and will probably wait a few weeks until he has settled into new nursery etc before trying again. My DH too wanted to do it earlier but for no other reason than he hates chnaging pooey nappies so I just said "tough when you have changed as many as me come talk to me about it"

sazzlesb · 02/12/2007 13:24

Hi.
I've started potty training my daughter - she's 2.7 and has shown most of the signs of readiness. For some time I have let her wear pants before we go out in the mornings with very few accidents. We started 3 days ago and on the 1st day, she did 2 wees in the potty. On the 2nd day, she did one in the loo and had an accident when she was running around with her friends (which I expect). We also ventured out for lunch yesterday with no accidents. However, for the past 2 days, she just hasn't done anything on the potty. She has superb bladder control in as much she goes up to 5 hours between weeing (doesn;t drink much) but although she'll sit on the potty while I read to her, but won't do anything. I'm wondering whether she's getting sick of us nagging her about whether she wants to go and is rebelling a bit. She can clearly hold her bladder so do you think I should just ease off on asking her and let her tell me when she wants to go even if it is too late and she has an accident? I'm also taking the approach that apart from sleep times, it's pants all the way - no nappies. What do people think? I've heard pull-ups when you got etc can set them back?

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