Please go to sleep 😓

[MM321]

DS is 19 weeks old. Usually sleeps not to bad and we’ve managed to establish a decent night time routine. He still needs settled a few times in the night and feeds twice but it’s getting better.
But tonight is one of those nights 😓 Since his dream feed at 11ish, he’s either woken up as soon as he’s been put back down or woken up 10 minutes later 😓 he wakes up, thrashes around, starts to cry then as soon as I pick him up 😴😴😴😴😴😴 sound asleep. Until I put him back down. Help me 🙈 this mummy needs some sleep 😴

I'm sorry that you're so tired . It's such a tough age and at this point your reserves of energy are running low.

Is it just you in the house? If not, could you wake your DH/DP up and ask them to take over for a couple of hours while you get some rest?

Things that worked for my DS at that age were rocking, swaddling, pacifier and white noise. He had a very strong startle reflex so putting him down was always a pain. In the end, I took the side off his cot to make a makeshift co sleeping cot and gently edged him into it when I'd fed him to sleep. Not sure I'd recommend that but it worked for us at the time.

If he's waking when you put him down, could you roll some towels or blankets up and make a makeshift "cocoon" to lie him in so he doesn't startle when you put him down? You can then remove them when he's settled down.

The other thing I did sometimes was put him in his pram bassinet, rock the pram with my foot and doze overnight on the sofa. DS spent around a month sleeping in his pram at one point.

@MessAllOver Yes it’s just be in the house - DH works offshore for a few weeks at a time and is away at the moment. DS will only nap on me or in his pram on our daily walk during the day so I really rely on the few hours of night time sleep that I usually get to keep me sane 😓
Unfortunately we don’t have a “support bubble” so handing him over to a family member for a few hours in the day isn’t possible.
His startle reflex actually stopped quite a while ago now, I think he’s just having a night of wanting to be attached to mummy 🙈 we thought he went through his 4 month sleep regression a few weeks back when we had a rough couple of weeks...I’m hoping we weren’t mistaken and it’s starting now 😅😅

@MM321. That sounds incredibly tough. Can you afford to hire some part-time help like a regular babysitter or something to give you some help? If so, childcare.co.uk may have a few options. Or is there another new mum (NCT friend, other mum friend nearby) that you can bubble with and both mind each other's babies to give each other a break?

My heart goes out to you - it is so difficult doing it alone. I didn't live near family or have regular help, but I was doing it pre-Covid and my parents used to visit to help every few weeks and I made sure I was out of the house meeting friends the rest of the time.

The one thing I would say is that babies change very quickly. Something that didn't work one week might work the next week. So keep trying the swaddling, white noise, pacifier or whatever you're using because baby might just reach a point where it works.

I'd also be realistic about cosleeping. If you're tired and there's no one else in the house, there's a reasonable chance you might fall asleep holding your baby. In which case the safest place is the bed cleared of pillows and blankets, not the sofa.

Have you heard of the Wonder Weeks app? It alerts you to fussy fazes and 19 weeks is a big one. It honestly helps to know when and why sometimes.

If your DH is away have you tried cosleeping? Hang on in there, it gets better!

@Modestandatinybitsexy I love that app! Usually has it spot on for DS. Just now we should be in between fussy stages 🙈 maybe he’s just desperate to show me all his new skills 🙈 I don’t feel comfortable at all with cosleeping. I know many people absolutely swear by it but it’s not something I want to try. He sleeps in a bedside crib but with the side kept up.

@MessAllOver DS really isn’t usually like this at all so I’m hoping it’s just a little fussy phase. We actually have both sides of the family very close by however they have all decided that covid isn’t really a problem and visit the supermarket 3-4 times per week, travel out with the area to visit takeaway shops that they like, visit friends in houses for coffee etc 🙄 DH and I already feel we’re taking enough of a risk with him working away but he is tested twice a week and is home for 3/4weeks at a time then away for the same so realistically if any of us were going to develop symptoms is to him bringing it home it’s most likely that would happen while he was here and we could deal with things together. Our families fail to understand that while DS might be at little risk (as it would appear young children are), if I catch something while DH is at work then I may be unable to look after baby.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable using childcare when DS has never been away from me at this stage due to covid and he hasn’t spent time with many other people.
I’m sure we’ll manage...I was just having a middle of the night despair 🙈 on days like today when I’m very tired we do all 3 naps in the pram out for walks, or attempt one in his bedside crib while I lay down in bed (never usually works). I’d never risk falling asleep holding him, it’s my absolute fear.

Please join this group on FB, they will be able to help you with anything sleep related www.facebook.com/groups/1844822782469496/?ref=share

Hope you have a better day today .