Hair washing-asd

[PinkDaydreams]

Hello!
I'm after some advice regarding hair washing please. 3 year old son with diagnosed ASD, absolutely hates having his hair washed! Screams, climbs up me to get out the bath, tries to launch himself out of the bath. It's not a little cry, he's full on histerical, I feel awful as it's obviously a sensory issue and he's so uncomfortable.

Strategies tried so far- shower/sponge soap off/flannel/towel to stop water running into face/jug/funnel/making a game of it. I feel embarrassed posting this but I am honestly struggling with hair washing as he's distraught and I just need some more ideas please! I wash it as little as possible.

Thank you for reading

I should have added that I've tried washing in the sink but that was also I disaster and flooded the bathroom. He also won't lie with his head tipped over the bath.

DD was like this and also has ASD. She's 7 now and has grown out of it (or is able to tolerate it much better).

Mainly we just kept her hair quite short and tried to avoid washing it too much. Does he put his head under in the bath? If he does that will be enough to keep it clean- would he wear swimming goggles to make going under into a game? 'Dive' for toys?

Thank you so much for your reply No he won't put his head under the water. He used to love the shower but now hates it, must be the pressure of the water maybe? We cut his hair ourselves every 2-3 weeks (it grows very fast!) to keep it short.

I've not tried goggles but it's worth a go! I can't wait for the swimming pool to open again as he loved the pool, I'm hoping I'll be able to encourage him to dip his head under which may help with hair washing.

I had similar issues at that age, I more or less stopped washing his hair, kept it a sensible length (assuming you can get him to a hairdresser) it's washed maybe once every couple of weeks now he's 8 but is fine. If you don't start using shampoo it regulates itself quite well, just use a flannel, to soak and brush through for any really manky bits! Whilst they are still small you don't have to worry about sweat in the same way. I decided it just wasn't worth the distress and no one needs to know!

I recommend goggles, get a pair that cover more of the face so no leaks. DS got to about 9 and now tolerates it but it's still a stressful experience (probably from all the previous jug/shower/sponge trauma )

Dry shampoo works much better than I expected, maybe try that?

I'll get some goggles ordered, thank you! I can imagine to start he won't like them on but if I take them swimming with us and show him how fun they are then maybe I can coax him that way?!
He's my only child and I feel like I'm constantly learning and having to differentiate between what is a sensory ASD issue and what's a 3 year old having a strop because he wants his own way! Some things are more obvious than others.

We used a Tomy octopus bath toy thing. It has a perforated cup that acts likes a shower head/watering can type thing. We let ds play with it and suggested he wet he own hair, gave him shampoo and got him to scrub on his own and rinse on his own. This was over a couple of baths to build his trust in it. I use child's farm shampoo which is organic and doesn't have any nasties so wasn't too concerned about residue. Also, got ds to watch us in the shower washing hair. It took time but we now don't a have an issue at all and he still likes doing his own washing.

Dry shampoo?! Kicking myself as I had about a dozen tins (from Xmas sets I'd been gifted over the years) that I gave away a couple of months ago 🤦🏻‍♀️ I didn't think of that.
Sorry for tmi but he's been getting a scabby scalp which I'm presuming is because I can't always rinse his hair properly, I've found soaking the patch with olive oil works well. Does dry shampoo cause product build up which could lead to scabby scalp?

Is his hair visibly dirty? If not I'd concentrate on getting the hair wet but not using shampoo. Neither of my ds have their hair washed more than once a week as they don't like it. Whereas dd has very long hair that gets washed daily so she can brush it.
Goggles are a good idea. Games that involve blowing bubbles with your mouth in the water can work too.

The dry shampoo we use we brush out after you spray it on.
We use it to stretch out the need to wash hair and it doesn't cause scalp issues used like that.
Maybe mixing less frequent goggles and wet shampoo with dry shampoo in between washes?

I assume you've tried these www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0817HNJNP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_WR2AFSJ1XRYZWEJB1FQC?tag=mumsnetforu03-21. My Ds always struggled with hair washing. Still fusses now he's 9 but these were s godsend when he was little. He has ASD although what used to be called Asperger's.

@Mumteedum I haven't tried those thank you, I've seen them but he won't wear a hat or hood up on his coat so I've presumedhe won't wear one of those visors.

Blowing bubbles in the water, good idea!

No his hair doesn't look dirty but it has that nursery smell when he's been there!

It's heart breaking seeing him so upset as he's generally a very happy boy, he loves splashing in the bath but it's his hair getting wet he really gets upset with. When it's raining and if we are out he gets upset at the rain on his shoes or on on him.

I knew a young lad who hated baths / showers but loved swimming. Parents let him wear his swim suit in the bath and he loved it! Sounds mad but you never know!

The pool is great, it's impossible to avoid getting a wet head. Also a paddling pool in the summer. Hopefully it will improve with time- we had the same with teeth and toenails, and those are no issue now.

Last summer I always ended the paddling pool with lots of bubbles and managed to wash his hair in it, recently he's started to really hate hair washing but I'll see how we get on!
Yes he hates having his nails cut too so I have to sneak in whilst he's asleep and trim them then.

My daughter was the same but now older we can get her to do once a week, though more often is needed.

Goggles definitely helped us. Also dry shampoo and a dry shampoo mousse that is towelled out.

Straight After swimming worked as she seemed to have been desensitised to the water.