Giving up Breastfeeding

[Amelia17]

Hi All

I really need some advise I’m sat here crying while I write this .
my baby is 18 months and he won’t stop breastfeeding at night I’m shattered !! He’s got allergies so I did understand why he was waking for breast,maybe. Comfort pain, hungry as he won’t touch food much but now I am on top of it.

I want to give up completely he’s to big now to hold and he won’t stop grabbing my boob all through the day and I have another 3 year old I’m getting scared I will lose my temper I’m shattered.

He just wants the boob in his mouth all the time.I tried cuddles offering water and snacks and tv it won’t work

Please can you advise me please...

Thank you

Gosh this sounds impossible. I’m so sorry things are so tough for you at the moment. Firstly, you’re amazing to have carried on this long. Seriously, you’re a hero.

The main issue here is that it sounds like you are looking for someone to give you permission to stop? If so, I’m happy to do that for you. Just stop!! Reclaim your body! Buy yourself a nice new bra and tell DS there’s no more milk. Do it today! Do it right now if you want!

More realistically, get DH/P to take a couple of days off work to help settle DS overnight without milk and possibly to distract him in the day. He will adapt. Kids are vocal when they’re not happy but they learn so fast.

You aren’t letting anyone down. You will be a better mum (person, partner, engineer(?) etc etc) if you are better rested and happy. Honestly, DS will be fine and you’ll still be an amazing mum.

Haha oops I don’t know where I got engineer from! Think I got mixed up with a different user name 🙈 sorry OP

Echo what a PP said, you're a super hero getting this far. Breastfeeding has to work for both of you, if it's not working for you any more then most definitely stop, give yourself a massive pat on the back, and pour yourself a celebratory drink/eat celebratory cake!

Definitely get DP/DH more involved in distraction and nighttime's. I'm trying to stop night 'feeds' atm as my DS isn't feeding just seeking comfortable constantly, I've had to step away and my DP will offer cuddles and reassurance which works fine. If I'm there DS is just after boob (obviously!).

Hope you get there quickly and can get some rest.

It’s definitely time to stop if your not happy with it. I wouldn’t go cold turkey because you risk mastitis and that’s no good for anyone.

Is his dad around and able to help? I fed till 2, also a child with allergies, and the only way I was able to do that was night-weaning before 1. I think you could go cold turkey but I also think it sounds like you'll need a lot of support. What we did was dad dealt with all night awakenings with expressed milk, she only wanted the comfort so after about a week of waking, wanting boob, being given cuddles and milk, giving in, she just stopped waking looking for it. But we did it on a week he was off work, and it was tough. Day-weaning was super easy but basically she loved her food so there was a lot of distracting, cajoling and reducing so it tapered off. It sounds like you need something more direct.

In non-COVID times, some friends had success by going away for the weekend. I definitely think you need some hands-on support. Will he be comforted by someone else if you aren't there?