I can't cope. I can't fix everything.

[Biscuitbrew]

Hello, I know everyone's struggling at the moment, I just need to speak out.

We are in isolation as one of our DD's tested positive so that's difficult in itself. She's old enough to be on her own in her room but knowing she's alone and struggling mentally is crushing me. I've no idea how to help and on top of that she's now worried and angry due to the next problem...

My youngest self harmed earlier due to someone upsetting her, we already have someone for her to talk to but these things always happen when that person is unavailable. Everything is building up and I just feel useless running out of options and ideas to keep everyone safe and happy.

I know its not good to blame yourself but I just feel like a failure and not good enough to parent. I can't breathe there is that much going on, I'm supposed to be their comfort but clearly I'm doing it all wrong. It's just one battle after another and I don't have all the answers, I can't fix anything and just feel all the bad emotions and want to hide.

Not sure what the point of this is other than I know I need to speak out and get help.

Unless you or someone in the household is clinically vulnerable I wouldn't be keeping isolated in your situation.

Wear masks if you want, keep the rooms well ventilated and sanitise touch points.

If you are that worried about their mental state then that has to be a priority.

Hi OP, I think I understand how you feel. I feel similar to you, like the demands and assumptions of our families/children/society etc are too much to bear. Why? I don't know. For me it feels like they are projecting on to me who they think I am based on female/mother stereotypes. All giving, nurturing, caring, and who cares if you are falling apart, it's still your job to sort everyone else out first.
Wishing you well and will be thinking about you. It's so hard, but maybe the answer is to take charge and rise above it, seeing the reality, while putting yourself first as much as possible. You are not alone.

first of all i know it seems obvious but its very important not to blame yourself. this issue is more common than it seems and is not your fault. its important not to push your child to speak about it but make sure youre always emotionally there for them in case they decide to. Another important thing, is to not assume the reasoning behind your childs problem, as kids often have a lot more going on than they like to tell you and theres nothing wrong with that. best of luck xx

Hi all,

@theMoJareajoke I did think about having another area she can go in it's just the thought of another one of us getting it then having to stay isolated even longer, it will make things worse. It may have to happen though even if just for half an hour or something.

@GettingUntrapped The demands and assumptions can be crippling when no one sees or understands we might need help. No one looks out for me but I have to look after 4 other humans, husband included. Yes I choose this life but it's exhausting without covid or self harm involved. No ones even offered to help us with food shopping or anything after we've run around and helped for others for the last year.

Thats the scary thing @Worknoplaywork it could be something worse that I don't know about but hopefully once our health worker is back she can find out and she'll definitely know how to deal with it better than me.

It helped writing things down. I just need to try sleep and get things in place tomorrow and go day by day as usual.

Thank you xx