Children Sleeping at Friend's houses

[Earlybird]

At what age did you/would you feel comfortable letting your child sleep over at a friend's house?

At any age if you know the friend well enough.

about 6 or 7

I'll confess dd1 stayed at a friend's house first when she wasn't yet three. Her best mate's mum offered while DP was away for the weekend and I had a three month old baby to contend with. She's stayed there since, too.

Oh, and I might feel differently if we had any other options but, like you, there are no rellies around to take her overnight at other times!

I only say that age because of the likelihood of having a late night phone call saying junior won't sleep, or is crying to go home, at an earlier age.

Very much depends on your child and how much they need you at night, or if they would be ok with someone else (ie an adult they know well) in the case of a bad dream or whatever.
Ds1 has been having sleepovers since he was five with a very good friend whose mum is a very close friend of mine. I totally knew she could handle any situation which could occur during a sleepover. Since that friend went to live in Australia, he has since had sleepovers with his friend who lives across the road - in fact, said friend is sleeping here tonight. You just need to go with your instincts regarding your child. Ds has friends who would at 6/7 be nowhere near ready for sleepovers!

For us it was 7.

Not really about us more when we though ds would be okay so I guess it really varies from child to child.

My children have never slept over in a friend's house but if my eldest were invited to now (he is aged 8) I would probably let him. I can't say I would want other people's children sleeping at our place though so I would probably have to say no to him going there.

My dss (5 and 7) haven't done this yet, though they have slept at cousin's house and vice versa.

My main reluctance is the fact that they both seem to need LOADS more sleep than all their friends, and are horrid the day after if they don't get it, so it just doesn't seem worth it.

around 7, maybe younger if you really know the family well.

Interesting responses. I have a fairly new friend, with a 4 year old dd who has friends overnight regularly, and also sleeps at their homes. My friend has asked if my dd (3.8) would like to spend the night sometime. My first reaction was "absolutely not yet, she's too little", but then wondered if I was being an overprotective mum......especially as my friend seems so matter of fact about it for her dd. My thoughts are that there is plenty of time for this, and it's too early for us to try it. DD hasn't even had a playdate away from home without me, so spending the night away would be too great a leap, I think.

As always - thanks for the advice and perspective.

My dd, now 4, has slept over at friends quite a few times and we've had her friends to stay. When they were 3 it could be hardish work and generally dd would end up in bed with dh and me with the friend, but at 4 they're fairly used to it and it's quite easy to have them.
I don't think there's any minumum age. If they're happy to stay away and you're comfortable with the friends they're staying with then it can be a great help and lets you have some much needed time together as a couple.
A couple of dd's best friends have single parents and I wouldn't hesitate to have them to stay to help the mums out of a spot or to allow them to go out.

dd1 has asked me if she can sleep at her friends house. its agirl from nursey who started this term, i dont know her parents as her grandma picks her up, and tbh i dont know the child either. both me and dh said no at the same time stating the same reasons.

dd1 is 4.

My next door neighbour and I have had 'sleepovers' with DD's from about 6yrs. Friends from school have been from about 9 years - I felt 7 was too young. I actually hate them myself

I posted about this a while ago. DS's friend's mum kept inviting DS to stay the night and I just didn't feel comfortable about it. He was 4.5 at the time and I posted on mumsnet because I was also worried that I was being over protective. Strangely DS has stayed at a close friend's house a couple of times and lots of times with members of my close family and I haven't got a problem with that but this was just a kindergarten friend and I don't know them well enough. I was relieved that I wasn't unusual in being uncomfortable!
I just called up the mum and said in a nice friendly way that I hoped she wasn't offended but I wasn't ready for DS to stay over with anyone just yet (although DS would love to) and I just needed him to be a bit older .... she was very lovely about it and said she understood.
HTH a bit
FWIW I don't think I will be ready for him to sleep over at a casual friend's place until he is probably about 7 (he is nearly 5 now).

My youngest too are eight now and I don't feel ready for them to sleepover. But they don't really have any close friends like my eldest ds has. He had been going on sleepovers since about 8. I think it depends on the child.

I agree that I don't really like them because when we have them here, DS and friend(s) are still awake at midnight and later, and it upsets dd, because they don't want her, its a nightmare.

About 6 for us.

I think there's a difference between a sleepover for childcare/respite reasons and a sleepover for fun.

From toddler age onwards, I would be happy for son of mine to sleep over with a trusted friend or relative. But only if the person in charge saw it as a form of childcare, not purely a social thing. And of course, as long as my toddler was ok about being left.

If we are talking about a fun sleepover, where the adults expect the kids to eat, wash and sleep with minimum supervision, then I'd say for us, 6 or 7 is the earliest time to start.

Hope you managed to get enough sleep yourself, batters. We are facing the delights of pumpkin carving this afternoon.

Oh Tigermoth, how well you put it!

Respite, yes, exactly...