Allowance for children - how much?

[Covert19]

DH and I have agreed together that we would like our children to have some experience of managing finances. They are aged 11 and 12. We want to give them an allowance each month, out of which they would buy all clothes (except for school uniform which we will buy), toys, games, phone contract, snacks etc. We will pay for school dinners separately, as we don't want our children to regard starving themselves as a good route to saving up for a PS5 for example.

But we're struggling to know how much is appropriate as an allowance for children this age.

How do you set boundaries around what you buy and what they have to buy? So when we're out and about at the moment, we might buy say a souvenir from a gift shop for them - but now we might think that they should fund that themselves. Where does being generous and treating them to things occasionally fit in? Am I just overthinking this? Added complication is that the 12 year old thinks he should have more "because my clothes are bigger so will cost more". But how on earth do you decide how much more/less? Isn't it fairer to give them both the same?

Im really interested to hear how others have gone about this - setting the amount, and what is and isn't included in it.

Firstly, my two are two years apart and got the same amount because clothes cost the same (ish). Secondly I still treated them, the budget is for day to day, thirdly it depends on what you want to include - I started modestly giving £40 a month but still bought uniforms, basic underwear and took them on occasional shopping trips eg before a holiday. If they are to buy everything, can you trust them to actually buy it?

We always gave our teens (and current teen) £100 a month for clothes, going out, snacks, anything that I’d consider was to come out of disposable income.

We paid for dinners, bus fares, uniform, winter coats, underwear, basic toiletries etc. Still gave/give them a treat now and then.

Often loaned money to them for bigger things, or if they wanted something straightaway but always insisted on them repaying. If we felt they’d blown all their allowance we probably wouldn’t have subbed them as it’s a life lesson.

Older children both financially responsible, teen child a total saver!

My children are younger than that but I think I’d start off with less things for them to manage and give them a smaller amount - eg games / toys / sweets and £15-20 a month to see how they get on to try and set them up for a success. Then give them more money and responsibility as they earn it.

Like @HaveTeaWillSurvive I’d start off with a weekly allowance and then work up to monthly with increased amount to cover more. I think 11 and 12 is a bit young to have access to the amount of money they’d need to cover the outgoings you suggest and I’d worry they had a bit too much financial freedom at a young age tbh.

Not what you asked I realise!

Regarding boundaries I’d say that family days out should be paid for by parents and if they want pocket money souvenirs they should cover those. For clothing I would think an agreed spend a couple of times a year to cover basics then if they want particular fashion items they pay for/save for those from their allowance. Things like trainers for example I’d work out how many times a year they’d usually need new and how much I’d ordinarily be willing to pay, then contribute that with dc making up the balance (assuming they want expensive ones which they all seem to).

If giving a monthly amount I would be very careful about “loaning” too freely from the next month’s allowance. So I’d probably do it on the odd occasion eg a friend’s birthday outing or concert tickets but not for a new game/clothing item. Probably sounds mean but letting them buy now, pay later defeats the purpose.

How much depends on what you can afford and what your usual spending on them is. I’d want it to be enough that they don’t have to stay in all month if they buy a T-shirt and a costa but not so much that they don’t need to make choices .

Can you wait six months and spend that time adding up all you spend on them? I would give them a tiny bit less than what you think they need so they will feel the need to get an after school job when they're old enough, and then learn that money equals time and effort and doesn't get spat out of ATMs for free