How can I stop my 16 month old from...

[thebecster]

My DS is beyond adorable (but of course)... Except when he's being a little monster. He seems to have hit the terrible two's early and is a real challenge sometimes. Could anyone tell me if there's a good way of tackling these habits. The main bad habits are:-

• taking off his socks & shoes in the pushchair and hurling them at passers by or dropping them surreptitiously so we have to retrace our steps. I've got him in tights now so that at least he doesn't have bare feet, but the tights irritate his eczema...

• throwing his beaker. On Sunday he threw it so hard in a restaurant it hit a lady three tables away. I was soooo

• TMI alert - look away now if you have a nervous stomach... His worst habit is eating his own poo. Ewwww... But I did warn you. About 8 months ago I posted saying that he was being difficult about his nappy change, and I got advice etc., mostly people saying he'd grow out of it. But instead of growing out of it, he makes it a big game to gross out mummy as much as possible. As soon as the nappy comes off, I'm struggling to keep his hands off his bottom and away from... Oh dear god...

• climbing - I stepped out of the room for two seconds, came back and he was halfway up the curtain like a flippin' Siamese cat (and we have high ceilings - he was above my head height). He has no fear at all, and laughs at my reaction. He's ridiculously physically strong, which is a slight problem because I'm a weakling and find it really hard to keep up with him.

Does anyone have any bright ideas? Anyone? Please????

Haven't got any suggestions for 1,2, and 4 because tey sound normal to me
the nappy change thing though, if you give him a toy or something that he doesn't see any other time does that distract him?

Thanks for reassurance on 1, 2 & 4 dooley! I tried giving him a toy and, well, let's just say that the toy had to go straight in the washing machine on a boil wash...

taking off shoes and socks is a toddler right of passage - tights sounds like a good solution

throwing stuff - yep, totally normal. Take it away if he does it repeatedly. They think it is a game - he throws, you pick it up, ad nauseum ... tell him no, we don't throw and place it back ... on the 3rd/4th time then take it away

no idea about the poo - perfectly normal for their hands to have a good old rummage as soon as the nappy comes off ... offer a toy to play with - ask him to hold something for mummy etc

climbing - try to move stuff away from ledges etc - anything that he can use as a step to get up high (ie pull sofas aay from window sills etc)

you are hitting the watching like a hawk phase - they are like greased lightening

I'm so glad at the reassurances that it's normal! He's my first and only so I wasn't sure if I had just got something terribly wrong! My nieces must have been exceptionally good - I used to look after them a lot at this age and they didn't do this stuff. You're so right RubySlippers - I have never been so hyperalert, my nerves are in shreds!

LOL!

Has he learned to do things for effect? The fact that he makes a big game of grossing you out makes me think that yu might be reacting with a big hoo ha - which is, of course, extremely entertaining to a small child!

If he throws things make as little of it as possible. Don't make eye contact with him, say NO throwing firmly but boringly, pick it up and put it out of his reach or sight - very calmly. Don't let him turn it into a circus trick, with lots of kerfuffle and response.

Ditto the nappy - be very businesslike, don't engage with him over the trying to put his hands down.

Shoes and climbing - just one of those things, I think. There is no way to stop the climbing at this age - just supervise him - hard, I know, but even if he has an accident an active determined child is very unlikely to stop climbing new things.

Hmm.. OneTrickMummy, you might have something there. He definitely 'plays to the gallery'. I suspect he threw the beaker in the restaurant because he's used to having attention from all diners - normally wherever we go he 'finds a friend' at another table and charms them with smiles and waves - and none of them had looked at him or talked to him (how dare they concentrate on talking to their dining companions??? DS will not be ignored!). And I am so very grossed out by the throwing and eating of poo that I probably am entertaining him... Must work on my poker face!

I've always thought there was a market for a changing mat with handcuffs attached

I was in a service station recently, and the changing mat had a harness fitted to it - a 5-point harness without a crotch strap. I thought "I could do with one of those!"

These things are all fairly normal, if perhaps a little at the extreme end of normal.

The best thing to do, IMO, is firstly to try and prevent in the first place (like tights instead of socks) and secondly to be totally and completely blase about it (even if you're freaking out inside). The reason I think that things get extreme is that the baby gets a thrilling reaction, and does more and more to get more and more reaction.

I have a friend whose 18m boy only wears socks and shoes if he is getting out of the buggy. The rest of the time he is barefoot because, like yours, shoes and socks don't stay on him and she can't afford to keep replacing the lost ones.

As for chucking things, I replace the item the first couple of times - without saying or 'looking' anything - but the next time I put it back out of reach, ie on my table or in the changing bag. Of course you mustn't react to any subsequent tantrum, either!

When mine are going through the throwing phase I give them drinks in a non-spill beaker which I can tie to the highchair, to save my back and prevent having to return it to the baby beign a reinforcement of the behaviour.

Can you loop your curtains up?

Hands in poo thing - have you tried giving him a babywipe to hold? At least his hands will then be self-cleaning, a bit anyway!

Current baby loves pulling wipes out of the box. How about giving yours a travel pack of wipes and repacking any clean ones after the nappy change?

Handcuffs... now there's a thought!

I am so relieved to know my beloved DS is just being a normal toddler. I was worried he was turning feral.

Babywipe to hold is my suggestion too, RomanCandles

Re the climbing... If anyone knows please let me know. Ds2 likes to climb onto our window ledges!

x posted Roman Candles! Curtains are already looped up - he'd pulled a chair up, climbed onto chair, up ladder back of chair and onto curtain. All because Mummy loves a heart attack...
Wipes are a good thought for the nappy change, thank you!

Well at least you know he's bright!

1. yeah, go barefoot until he's actually out of the buggy and walking around. Those little soft leather slip on shoes are great at this age because they take one second to slip on. If he is resistant, there's a lot to be said for holding the shoes and socks and saying brightly to disapproving little old ladies "ah, we'll have those shoes on properly in a jiffy, but isn't it nice to kick the fallen leaves with bare toes"

1. How about getting one or two of those buggy buddy books which have a strap to attach to buggy/high chair? Then he can throw it to his heart's content and it'll just go 6 inches and bounce back ready for another throw fest.

1. For climbers, I have always taken my mother's advice, which is "scatter more cushions". A child can climb really pretty high without panic if there is a mattress strategically placed underneath. And IME, children are only really interested in climbing particular parts of the house for a short period. I have the most glorious memories (rather older - maybe 8) of climbing up shelves, along the mantelpiece, onto the windowframe, onto a big table, across the rocking horse onto the storage heater, onto the top of the piano, dodgy bridging move past the door, and round again. deep happy nostalgic sigh

RomanCandles!

But whether he will use his superpowers for good or evil is a bit of a worry, and (gulp) apparently it's down to me.

hiya - most of them sound like he's a normal tearaway! my DD1 always took her socks off when out - so wither she was in the cosytoe or i took her shoes off (not so expensive to replace socks as it is shoes).

what about trying a sticker or plaster on his hand when nappy changing? hopefully he will be too interested in trying to get it off rather than his poop!

Oh, emmaagain, you're DS's soulmate! I'm scared of heights, so DS is no doubt enjoying the palpitations I get from seeing him up high! The buggybuddy book is good idea too, might keep his mind off his toes for a few minutes! You're spot on about disapproving old ladies, that's exactly who I worry about when he has bare feet But his feet are too big for the little soft shoes I think (He takes socks in age 3, and shoes 5G - he's gonna be a biggun I think...)

Oooh, sticker! That's a brilliant idea for a distraction! I'll give that a go.
Am so grateful for all these thoughts, and for the confirmation that he's not that unusual! Difficult to tell when he's my only one...

Those soft shoes come in sizes all the way up to adult here.

Awww... they're cute! Thank you!