Is my baby really behind?

[march2021]

My baby never had an 8 month check but is booked in for a 12 month check just as he turns 1.

I've been looking at the ASQ for 12 months and am worried that there's so much on it he can't do, like these questions:

Does your baby say three words, such as “Mama,” “Dada,” and “Baba”? (A ”word” is a sound or sounds your baby says consistently to mean someone or something.)

Without showing her what you mean, does your baby follow one simple command, such as “Come here,” “Give it to me,” or “Put it back”?

When you ask, “Where is the ball (hat, shoe, etc.)?” does your baby look at the object? (Make sure the object is present. Mark “yes” if she knows one object.)

My baby is 11.5 months and hasn't said his first word yet - he just does meaningless babble like dada gaga baba. He can't point and wouldn't have a clue if I asked him where his ball (or anything else) is. The same goes for commands.

Should I be worried?

No. Your baby is fine. Mine didn’t do any of these things at 1, she does now at 18 months.

Thanks for replying. I had no idea that babies are ‘meant’ to say their first word aged 12 months - it seems so young!

Every child is different , try not to worry, i remember filling in that 2 page form and my son could only do about 3 of them lol. They all learn and do things at different rates, he didn't roll until 10 months, crawled at 15 months and only began walking at 26 months! But he is getting there, in terms of speech also very behind and says the odd words at almost 3 but does not string a sentence together. Your baby is still very little and they all learn at different rates, i used to look at my friends babies and think my god my son is so behind but he has almost caught up and now runs around. Although his speech is poor he has fabulous understanding, fine motor skills and social skills which his peers do not, i would not worry

Every child is unique and learns skills in a different order.

For each skill you feel he is behind he will be ahead of another child in a different area.

My youngest could not ride a bike or tie shoe laces until about 10/11.
Others did this at 4.
But she was ahead in other areas.

If she understands facial expressions, when you are happy or sad, knows dinner is coming, reacts to noise, moves to music and babbles then she is communicating. It isn't just about words.

No. Absolutely fine.

No, don't worry.

My ds was climbing stairs on his own at 10 months but didn't say a single word until he was 2.

They all develop at different rates.

I don't think so, my son walked at 10 months and was always drawing on bits of paper, that's the only thing he was ever really interested in.
He fell behind all of his targets consistently and didn't do well at school, I had to teach him to read and write because he didn't get it at school but then never did like being around other people.
Parents day was always, DS is very behind.
He's 40 now, did a degree and is now a very successful fine artist with a successful career.
He just didn't do things he didn't think were important.

I read through mine quickly and it’s now hidden in a drawer. My son is 16 months, can say mom dad and hi, but he didn’t say a work until about a month ago, these 3 came suddenly and from nowhere. He has just this week learnt what ‘come here’ means. He still has absolutely no idea what anything except the dogs are, no ball, toys, phone etc. My friends baby could do most of these at around 9-10 months old! It’s dependant on the individual child so unless you have any concerns I wouldn’t worry!

The form is a blunt screen tool to look for potential problems. If your baby is not meeting a number of things in a particular area the HV will review in a few months to see if the baby need referring for things like a hearing test to rule out any problem. Remember a lot can change in a couple of weeks.

Throw the list in the bin and enjoy your baby op.

Please don't worry about these assessments. In the words of my Health Visitor "they're based on American questions that are totally ridiculous in real life - your baby is doing fine". You'll find these things just seem to happen all at once and you'll wonder why you worried in the first place!

You know the checks are advisory don't you?

You don't have to do them if they are stressing you out. However if there are genetic issues in your family with hearing, eye sight or other organs then it is worth doing them so you can get referred to the appropriate specialist without having to go into massive detail with your GP.

I didn't do any of the checks with my DD until she was two as they were arranged on the days both myself and her dad were working. As she was in childcare part of the week and the CM, who is very experienced, didn't notice any issues we weren't bothered.

When DP did her two year old check it was only so that possible eye sight issues can be screened for.

You know the checks are advisory don't you?

I know, but I definitely want to do them in case there is something wrong, so we can get the appropriate support.

Are most people’s babies saying their first words (and knowing what they mean) by 12 months then? As I say, personally I thought that sounded very early but perhaps I’m wrong!

Does your baby say three words, such as “Mama,” “Dada,” and “Baba”? (A ”word” is a sound or sounds your baby says consistently to mean someone or something.)

Thats exactly what this is.

My DS didn't say his first word until he was over 1. He could only say "all gone" for aaaages. He didn't point or wave. No signs of walking. Every other baby his age seemed miles ahead of him. I was really worried. I called the health visitor at 15 months and they told me to give him a bit more time before they did an assessment.

He's now 17 months. A few weeks ago we had a week of no sleep, but then it all came at once. He started walking and can now say about 15 words including some animal sounds. He never stops pointing.

Does your son interact with you? Do you have any concerns about his hearing? That's all they care about at the 12 month check. Everything else will come.

I think you're misunderstanding 'word'. It explains it in the part you've quoted.

Neither of my two were saying anything at 12 months! I'd say both were closer to 18 months before they said anything recognisably a word!

Dd could say a number of words by a year, could follow commands long before one and could point at things. By 18 months you could have a decent conversation with her. She was unusual to the point of people commenting on it.

What added to her “quirkiness” was that she didn’t crawl until about 15 months and walking was nearly 18 months. So I had a child who couldn’t walk but could talk in sentences. I remember wondering if she would ever fit into the world at all. (She’s now 10 and a competitive triathlete - I have no idea what that tells us except that who they are at one is not necessarily an indication of who they will be at 10.)

Ds learned to both talk and walk around 12-13 months which seemed to be about average or maybe slightly ahead for both.

I think you're misunderstanding 'word'. It explains it in the part you've quoted.

I don’t think so. The test defines a word as “a sound your baby says consistently to mean someone or something”. DS says dadadada but has no idea that it means he’s talking about his dad. It’s just a random noise to him. The question is asking if he says dada and knows it’s referring to his dad.

My son is 11 months old and can't do any of those things either. The health visitor rang this week and didn't seem overly concerned just said to keep talking to him reading stories etc. and to call back in a few months if any concerns. Don't worry x

Your baby is fine. They aren't meant to do all these things in the questionnaire at that age. Mine didn't say words until older.
The Health Visitor said they only start to worry about words if they haven't started at 18 months (and even then it's not necessarily a sign of a problem).

First words have a particularly huge range of 'normal', I think --- anything from about 10 months to two years.

That said, they don't expect baby to be doing all of the things in any one category – 'development appears to be on track' is usually about 4 out of 6, and if baby is a bit under on a category or two, it still usually just means baby has other priorities right now. I think they have a range of questions because not all babies do things 'in order' (yes, I'm looking at you, DD, cruising before you bothered rolling back to tummy) and also to see if maybe, say, communication is a bit behind but fine motor skills are a bit ahead, so probably baby's just been focusing on that lately.

Any object or command also counts. What are his favourite things? At 12 months my daughter wouldn't have had a clue about hats, balls, or shoes, but if you said 'satsuma', she'd do a full 180 to turn and look at the fruit bowl.

We had the 12 month checkup recently and the health visitor explained the questionnaire. The tasks/behaviours in each section are in order of difficulty and each will be assigned points. Points per section are then added up, babies with a (potential) developmental delay scoring low and babies who are ahead scoring high. The majority of babies will be somewhere in the middle. They are definitely not expected to be able to do everything in the questionnaire!

I remember being freaked out by the 1 year and 2 year questionnaires as well - my DCs couldn't do half the things on there! The health visitor had no issues whatsoever with their development and they are both doing fine age 6 and 9. Those questionnaires seem to be designed to induce parental anxiety!

Mine is 10.5 months. Running around, climbing furniture etc... but he doesn’t say anything either, not even sounds like dadada. He had check up last week and they said he was fine