Stopping breastfeeding toddler to sleep

[ijokeijoke]

I normally breastfeed my DS to sleep and then carry him upstairs and put him to bed. I need to stop that feed and have just put him straight to bed awake and he is absolutely hysterical. I don't know what to do 😩 he is 20 months.

Any advice welcome

You need to create a ‘special’ and comforting new bedtime routine to replace the breastfeed. So instead of him feeling as if he’s losing something, he feels like he’s gaining some fun ‘big boy’ treats.
In our house, bedtime starts with a bath using Johnson’s Baby Bedtime Bubble Bath. Supposedly it’s sleep-inducing.
I then give them a small drink of warm cows milk in a sippy cup or their own little mug. My dd loves her Nuby Boogie sippy cup because it’s got flashing lights! Perhaps he could help you pick out a special ‘bedtime cup’. Then it’s brushing teeth, story and then saying goodnight to all their stuffed toys!

Thank you tor the great idea

Yeah definitely need to replace with a new routine that involves something nice/special for him. He doesn't need to be breastfed to sleep at nearly 2 years old he needs to learn to go to bed. The special cup suggested above is a good idea, maybe you both cuddle in bed and read a book before turning the light out

I still give my 26 months old a feed before sleep but we do it in my room, only for ten mins, then we go to her room and I lay her down. It took three nights of awful crying but I sat next to her and reassured her I was there.

Now she's used to that we re sort of doing the disappearing chair sleep training

He is quite happy to go to bed, sometimes he is awake when I lie him down. It's just that he wants to have comfort from my boob first, and it's been his routine his whole life. (We co-slept until a few months ago)

I will try these ideas. Thanks so much for the advice!

What do you think about putting him in a single bed, or a floor mattress?

I weaned my first child off feeding to sleep by feeding him in bed and then detaching him before he was quite asleep and then either cuddling/just being there instead, and that was enough for him.

I did keep lying with him and later sitting with him, but that was working for me. If I wanted to change it, I would have done gradual repeat/disappearing chair.

Hmm, oh actually, sometimes you're putting him down awake already? Then probably no need to change his bed. I would just start detaching him at an earlier and earlier stage of feeding, slowly. Until at the end you're literally just feeding for a countdown of 3-5 seconds. Once you get to that stage they are generally amenable to swap it for something else - you could say OK, breastfeed or story? Or alternate bedtime every other night with your partner (if you have one).

@BertieBotts thank you for your reply. He is settled into his own room now, sleeping in a cot and goes through the night. It's just the initial putting him down. He is used to me feeding him downstairs then carrying him and laying him down and leaving (he can be asleep or awake). That feed has to stop (I am on a new medication and it's affecting his sleep) so tonight when I put him down without BFing him, he cried hysterically for 50 minutes 😭

Can you explain to him that you cannot feed any more? I put plasters on my boobs. First on one and a few days later the other one. My ds (2.5) understood surprisingly quickly and from feeding to sleep and multiple wake ups went to no more feeds in a few days.

Shorten the duration :) And offer a choice. I expect he will always choose BF to begin with. But once you get the duration much lower he will probably be less interested in it and ask for the story (or whatever else you choose) instead sometimes. Then that will start to take over.

Could you time your medication so that it is right after his feed, or does that not work?