21m old keeps hitting 8m old

[AlexaStop]

Hi, my 21 month old DS has started hitting his 8 month old sister. He has been slapping her head, shoving her, and I saw him kick her once too. We have been saying no, don't hit people hitting hurts, removing him and trying to talk to him, and naughty step but he seems too young to understand it. Just don't know what we should be doing or if it will pass?

He's got a lovely nature otherwise, always gentle with our cat and us, and doesn't seem to be very jealous as she's been in his life since he was just 13 months so very used to her.

Any advice is appreciated thank you

Bump, like the bump on my poor DDs head

How much 1-2-1 time does he get with both parents? Do you often not do stuff he likes or enjoys because of her? Does she get more positive attention? If the 8mo does something to him (biting hitting etc) how do you react? Do you expect more from him than his age just because he’s older?

This type of behaviour usually stems in jealousy so the best way to tackle the problem is to be brutally honest about the behaviours you ‘encourage’ at home and try to fix it with more positive attention.

I should also point out that 21 months is really, really young and it’s well within normal to hit, bite, kick etc. The only effective way to stop this is by timeouts and distraction.

Thank you. He gets plenty of 1-1 time as I'm still on maternity leave and DH works part time. 8mo still has 3 decent naps a day too. I will have a look and make sure I am being consistent with them both, now that I think about it we would be less strict if DD grabbed DS hair etc so maybe he thinks it's ok.

I'll try to intercept the hitting and distract as much as I can.

It's a phase that he should grow out of. Just keep doing what you're doing and it should eventually pass. I have a 12 month age gap with my 2 DS and now they are 2.5 and 1.5 it seems to be easing up finally. Good luck op! It's bloody hard work, isn't it?!

@buzzandwoodyallday yes it's very hard! They both need eyes on them all day. I thought I could turn away for a minute or so but now the hitting has started so I can't. Thankfully the youngest is a good sleeper but there have been nights they decide to wake up at the same time or one after the other. Hopefully it gets easier and these years will pass in a coffee filled fog.