My dd is 9, Y5. Ive always found it very difficult to cope with any friendship problems/fallouts she has. I realised as soon as she started reception that this was going to be something that triggered me. She's always had friends but also has had a lot of fall outs, incidences of being left out, singled out, talked over, sidelined etc. She never feels like anyone's best friend and always that everyone prefers someone else to her. However, she has always had friends as I've said and actually last couple of years fall outs have reduced and friendships seem to have solidified and stabilised. There are still bumps in the road however and I find when these occur that they floor me. When she's telling me about them I try to reassure her and if relevant talk to her about ways she could solve the situation or act differently the next time. Inside though I'm actually panicing and can feel myself catastrophising wildly imagining this will last forever, she's going to be in this situation always and, worst of all, be a lonely, depressed teenager with no friends. My own experiences don't help. I was only child of two very overprotective and somewhat toxic/narcissistic parents. I wasn't allowed out to play with friends or to go places with them without adults present until I was 16. For this reason I was very left out and socially awkward and found it difficult to find lasting friendships as everyone forged deeper alliances out of school and I only really saw people at school. It was very lonely and I had really low self esteem. I used to loathe being dragged to town centre with my mother and grandmother every weekend as would feel all people there from school were eyeballing me and laughing at me. Thjngs improved when I was granted freedom at 16 and I managed to forge my way into a group and start to enjoy doing normal things out of school with peers. It was great. The fear of being left out/ people falling out with me/ being thought of as weird has always stayed with me though, even to this day. As an adult I am very sensitive to thinking I've being left out or that I'm disliked by peers. I can torture myself over WhatsApp when people don't reply to me for example. I should say I have lots of friends and am a good friend and can maintain friendships well. My fear with my daughter is that I just cannot cope when she tells me something that's happened either in or out of school with her girlfriends. I feel world is ending and it affects my mood and sleep and focus until I get the report that all is resolved. Which always happens. I worry that as she becomes a teenager things are going to get so much worse and it will affect my mental health and I won't be able to support her properly or might even make things worse for her if I can't control my reaction. I guess I'm looking for advice. Other mums seem so unruffled and detached from the friendship problems, but the other girls seem to have it so much easier, she does seem to be the one left out more or talked over. When I hear them playing online for example, she never gets her way, her voice is often unheard as the girls always seem to choose each other over her when it comes anything. I'm sorry for the long message but I'm just hoping that other people maybe feel same or can advise ways to not let it get to me so much. I've talked about it with therapist but never seem to be implement strategies effectively when it comes to this. Thanks in advance and thanks for reading.