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Parenting

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Daughters friendship dramas really trigger me

8 replies

albairlanda · 12/03/2021 20:33

My dd is 9, Y5. Ive always found it very difficult to cope with any friendship problems/fallouts she has. I realised as soon as she started reception that this was going to be something that triggered me. She's always had friends but also has had a lot of fall outs, incidences of being left out, singled out, talked over, sidelined etc. She never feels like anyone's best friend and always that everyone prefers someone else to her. However, she has always had friends as I've said and actually last couple of years fall outs have reduced and friendships seem to have solidified and stabilised. There are still bumps in the road however and I find when these occur that they floor me. When she's telling me about them I try to reassure her and if relevant talk to her about ways she could solve the situation or act differently the next time. Inside though I'm actually panicing and can feel myself catastrophising wildly imagining this will last forever, she's going to be in this situation always and, worst of all, be a lonely, depressed teenager with no friends. My own experiences don't help. I was only child of two very overprotective and somewhat toxic/narcissistic parents. I wasn't allowed out to play with friends or to go places with them without adults present until I was 16. For this reason I was very left out and socially awkward and found it difficult to find lasting friendships as everyone forged deeper alliances out of school and I only really saw people at school. It was very lonely and I had really low self esteem. I used to loathe being dragged to town centre with my mother and grandmother every weekend as would feel all people there from school were eyeballing me and laughing at me. Thjngs improved when I was granted freedom at 16 and I managed to forge my way into a group and start to enjoy doing normal things out of school with peers. It was great. The fear of being left out/ people falling out with me/ being thought of as weird has always stayed with me though, even to this day. As an adult I am very sensitive to thinking I've being left out or that I'm disliked by peers. I can torture myself over WhatsApp when people don't reply to me for example. I should say I have lots of friends and am a good friend and can maintain friendships well. My fear with my daughter is that I just cannot cope when she tells me something that's happened either in or out of school with her girlfriends. I feel world is ending and it affects my mood and sleep and focus until I get the report that all is resolved. Which always happens. I worry that as she becomes a teenager things are going to get so much worse and it will affect my mental health and I won't be able to support her properly or might even make things worse for her if I can't control my reaction. I guess I'm looking for advice. Other mums seem so unruffled and detached from the friendship problems, but the other girls seem to have it so much easier, she does seem to be the one left out more or talked over. When I hear them playing online for example, she never gets her way, her voice is often unheard as the girls always seem to choose each other over her when it comes anything. I'm sorry for the long message but I'm just hoping that other people maybe feel same or can advise ways to not let it get to me so much. I've talked about it with therapist but never seem to be implement strategies effectively when it comes to this. Thanks in advance and thanks for reading.

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ImperfectTents · 12/03/2021 20:41

Your experiences in eArly adolescence sound really damaging I think you should speak to a counsellor and find coping mechanisms. Allow your dd to develop her own mechanisms by taking a step back. Don't over dramatise.

AnoDeLosMuertos · 12/03/2021 20:50

You sound a bit like me. Have you considered that you may have OCD or perhaps on the autism spectrum?

albairlanda · 12/03/2021 20:57

@ImperfectTents I've tried counselling, CBT etc and it's been sort of helpful at times. @AnoDeLosMuertos I don't think I have either of those but CPTSD has been mentioned to me before. I definitely struggle with managing my reactions to things, distress tolerance, low mood and anxiety.

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crosbyrose · 12/03/2021 21:09

I completely relate to everything you are saying, although I never had the issues in my childhood that you had. It really affects me when my son gets left out or falls out with friends. It can ruin my whole weekend and I find myself fixating on the issue.
I don’t know why I’m like this or what the answer is but you aren’t alone!

lollipoprainbow · 12/03/2021 21:14

I feel the same when my dd falls out with her friends which is on a regular basis HmmI was bullied badly as a child and didn't have any real friends (still don't) my siblings were much older than me so I felt like an only child and I was very close to my mum.

Thewishingchair123 · 12/03/2021 21:15

I don’t really have any solid advice but am interested in your post OP. Recently I have had similar reactions to my my DS7 experiences.
He has several friends, and one good friend but over the last few months the two have often fallen out, resulting in him sometimes playing on his own at lunch time. He has said to me “I don’t really understand the friends thing”.
I really struggled with it as I think I feel so attuned, I imagine what he’s going through and through these thoughts everything is possibly magnified to the extreme. It’s something I can’t control or make better for him and in my head I dwell on the worst of what might be just fleeting feelings for him.
The above is me trying to work out my reactions. I also suffer from anxiety. I’m an INFJ Mayer Briggs personality type.

ThePlantsitter · 12/03/2021 21:18

I completely relate to this too. It's ok to feel all this panic etc (though not pleasant) but try to practise being sympathetic but backing off about it and letting her think things things out. Things like 'so you think Mary's leaving you out?' and 'i would feel like that if I thought someone was leaving me out' rather than 'why don't you-' or 'perhaps she is-' and then just leaving her to get on with it. If you can get your teeth and get through that you may find your own anxiety about it calms down. I know it's hard though. I think it's fine to think through your own experiences and feel sorry for little you instead of making your daughter little you- because she's not, and you're not your parents.

albairlanda · 12/03/2021 22:25

I'm sorry others feel this keenly as well although at same time it's a comfort to know I'm not only one as my mum peers seem to be soooo laid back about it all while I'm tied up in knots. @ThePlantsitter thank you for your advice. That's very good advice to bring it back to empathising with her feelings. @Thewishingchair123 that's interesting about personality types. I'd like to look into that. I'm always keen to try and understand myself more. I certainly do Dwell and fixate on things terribly. Not just where children are concerned but with my husbands career and things as well to the point that I can tell he's reluctant to share and confide in me because he doesn't want it to stress me out. @ImperfectTents the simple advise of don't over dramatise has resonated with me. Thank you.

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