10 week old wont sleep in his cot! Help!

[Meljard]

Hi! Baby is 10 weeks old now (5 weeks premature) and he just won't sleep in his cot. Tried putting something in there that smells like me etc. He usually gets a feed and falls asleep on me then I'll put him in the next to me crib, he usually lasts about 5-10 minutes and he's up crying. I've tried to soothe him in the cot rubbing his tummy, shushing, picking him up to soothe him and trying again but to no avail. I'm exhausted at this point as I'm having to co sleep with him, never something I wanted to do and still isn't even though I do love the cuddles it's not sustainable at all. I'm so tired as I'm not sleeping with him in with me and I feel like he's not getting the best sleep he could get either. I'm not sure wether to use the controlled crying method or maybe putting him in the big cot. He's still in my room either way. I just need some help!

Am.so sorry. I have this with my 17 week.old and after weeks of waking up and putting her in for we have given in. Sorry no advice. Just to say you are not alone

Controlled crying is for older babies. 10 weeks is far, far too young for that. Have you tried swaddling? That was great for us. The Love To Dream swaddle was a hit. A dummy was also a massive comfort. Untimately though, this is all pretty standard for the age. Babies dont want to be put down and left to sleep because they dont feel secure. Have a look at the co-sleeoing safety guidleines.

I am not a fan of co-sleeping and I am ok with controlled crying.
But your baby is very young, particularly given they were premature. They are too young for controlled crying.

We were advised to use a worn t shirt as a Moses basket sheet.
We also used a dummy and a swaddle.

It does get easier but years on I remember how brutal the first few months were.

A friend used a night nanny, looking back we maybe should have.

I used my pram basket for weeks until baby got too big as the next to me was too open and cold and he wouldn't sleep. Then swaddled him and and warmed the sheet with s bit water bottle - that worked until he started rolling early. Then he never settled. 5 months and he's been in bed with me all night.... I've learnt to hate that bloody cot

10 weeks is too young for controlled crying.
Try a swaddle?

That’s so normal at ten weeks but I know that doesn’t make it any easier.

While you’re bed sharing please look up the safe sleep 7 from la leche league and the lullaby trust.

In a few weeks they may well sleep in their space more happily but in the meantime what can be done to maximise rest for you? Can you sleep in the day when someone else can care for the baby? Would you be more comfortable bed sharing in the day when someone else is around and you can nap when they nap? Would you be able to afford a doula to care for you both a little?

It is awful but it does get better:

He did like the swaddle at the start but now he can't stand it, the little monkey loves to have his arms free. He has a dummie but that doesn't seem to help. I've not really got anyone that can look after him given the situation with covid atm.

Thankyou for the replies!

@Meljard

He did like the swaddle at the start but now he can't stand it, the little monkey loves to have his arms free. He has a dummie but that doesn't seem to help. I've not really got anyone that can look after him given the situation with covid atm.

He just likes to sleep on me all the time. I get he is too young for controlled crying, not something I was really up for anyway. I'm glad to see I'm not alone!

@Meljard

He did like the swaddle at the start but now he can't stand it, the little monkey loves to have his arms free. He has a dummie but that doesn't seem to help. I've not really got anyone that can look after him given the situation with covid atm.

The Love To Dream swaddle is designed for babies like that!

Mine still won't be settle in the next2me - it's too big I think so either sleeps in the Moses basket or the pram carry cot if we're downstairs. She likes being cozy!

I would say if you do end up cosleeping it's not forever and it's better to do it when you're not completely exhausted. I also dislike it but there's been periods with DS when it was the only option but I tried to make the decision earlier on in the night so I could make sure it was as safe as possible.

Have you got something smaller like a Moses basket? DS wouldn’t sleep in the next to me until he was a few months older, he was tiny and I don’t think he liked it because he couldn’t touch the sides.
With the Moses basket he felt more secure.

It’s natural for babies to want to be cuddled and to feel comforted by the feel of their mother. You aren’t going to be able to train a baby out of their natural needs. There’s nothing wrong, nothing that needs to be fixed. You just have to put up with constant physical contact, because that’s what your baby obviously wants and needs. After a couple of years they get over it equally naturally.

At 10 weeks DD was still in a moses basket next to our bed. We made it a smaller space by placing rolled up blankets around the top,like an upside down horseshoe. That worked really well. DD never slept in a cot though, we ended up co sleeping!

Are you BF or FF OP? If BF, you can feed using the side lying position in bed at night and this is a safe position to fall asleep in, even during a feed, kind of curled around your baby with your arm out above him to prevent you from rolling forwards. He is very young and will probably get used to the cot soon enough, but meanwhile this will get you through. If FF, it's still worth looking up that position, as the same position can be used after his bottle and is the safest way to sleep with a baby. I coslept with my baby in the first few weeks. He is two months now and is happy to sleep in the Next to me cot at night now! Although still won't nap during the day unless in the sling or on me!