DS only one of 2 boys in year: what to do?

[TheDorsetMum]

My DS (8) is now one of only 2 boys in his year group.
It’s a small school with mixed years so this year he’s in with the year below and next year he’ll be with year above.
He plays with the girls in his year but will never be ‘one of the girls’ or invited to their houses.
He plays with boys in year below a little bit but never played the older ones when he shared a class with them before.
He’s mostly happy enough but sometimes has wobbles.
Is this a problem? Is it unhealthy?
He’s sensitive and doesn’t like change so while he agrees he needs more friends he would need persuading to move.
I could provide more background but interested in views on the face of it. Thanks.

My son was left as the only boy in his year last year age 7. The situation was very similar to yours in that he was in mixed years with good friends in the year above but not year below. We moved him to another school because we were concerned that he would spend every year having to adjust to making different friends depending on which year he was with. We were also concerned about transition to secondary school. He has adjusted really well to his new school (in a class with 15 boys in his year) and has made good friends. I would recommend moving him. We deliberately joined a few sports clubs which boys from his new school attended, which definitely helped transition. Good luck!

I thikn it depends how much of a problem it is for your son. Does he get on well with the other boy in his year group? Is he always able to find someone to play with ? What does he have wobbles about?

I purposely did not put DD in my catchment village school as I knew she would be one of five girls in a class of 15.

As it is some of the other girls have now moved to other schools.

We deliberately didn't send our DC to the school in our village with this set up for classes, as the year group is only 15 pupils.

Can you do lots of sports/music/theatre classes outside of school where your DS can make other friends?

My DS is the only boy in his year, but there are others in the class (mixed aged classes). It is not a problem for him at all. To be honest I think it's healthy as he's had to learn to be adaptable in his friendships.

Thanks for thoughts so far.
He had wobbles last year for a few weeks when he said he didn’t know what to do at break time. So far this week he’s been happy. He doesn’t really play with the other boy in his year. He prefers the girls.
Added issue is his sibling who is very happy and wouldn’t want to move. I couldn’t do 2 school runs.
I did expect that most people would say move him. But my DH says I’m the one who sees it as a problem rather than DS overly complaining about it. Anyone out there agree with him?

@Janeteapot that’s what my husband says. Has your son ever complained? Does he still have close enough friends to meet outside school?

I agree, if he can have other activities where he is mixing with more boys. DD's best friend for several years at school was a boy, they had lots in common and at that age was no big deal. Hitting puberty I think it changes a bit, but as I am a single mum with two daughters i was glad DD had a brother figure, and his parents also saw their friendship as positive.

Is there a scout troup he could join not too far away so he could meet up with some other boys out of school? How isolated is the village?

I guess this is the issue with small rural schools, and especially if there are personality clashes within the year group too. It's easy to say move school but often the reason the school is small is the rurality of the location and the next nearest school might be many miles away, and even smaller!

Does your DS have any friends outwith school he can socialise with? Or groups/clubs he can attend to widen his social circle a bit. And meet children with similar interests.

So he’s not very sporty so sports clubs don’t appeal.
He will go to Cubs when and if it starts back up.
There are other schools a short drive away. Mostly small too, apart from one which I know to be full.
I find myself thinking I could move him and he be bullied / have other issues.
Rocks and hard places.

computer clubs theatre groups -other sports than football - check on line to see if there is any other social or hobby group in the area? When the library opens check there too
ask your son if any of the boys in class above or below him were previously friends & perhaps organise going to a bowling alley?

my DD year has only 11 pupils it is 6 boys and 5 girls but when she started it was 7 boys and 4 girls she has always been in composite classes generally not a problem until now in P7 when the girls are growing a bit apart but it's still OK just not absolute BFF
it's good in small classes to encourage friendships outside of school and year groups , being a small school of 100 she practically knows everyone from p1 -p7 because of covid she has missed out on being buddies and mentors for new P1's and house group captains and similar responsibilities

Our DS was one of 5 boys in his class all through primary school. It was only in his final year that he complained about it but by then things were changing with puberty setting in etc (especially for the girls) and I'm sure this had an impact. For the most part and certainly up until that last year he was very happy, we never made any big deal of it either.

Given what you've said about the sibling being settled and not being able to do 2 school runs, if he's happy then I'd keep him where he is and focus on helping him to make friends with boys locally in some other way. Although he's not sporty there's surely something that he could get involved in that would give him a chance to socialise with boys his age? Also, don't rule out sport altogether, it could just be that he's not yet found a sport that he likes.

I agree with your husband.
Also agree with finding extra curricular for more social contact ,but would say this to anyone in a small school.
(I went to a small school)

Thanks all. So the consensus seems to be that if he has social contact with other boys outside school then the lack of this inside school is not a major problem?
I just wish a bunch of boys would move to the school - for me 5 would seem like loads @LifeInAHamsterWheel!