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Sibling age gaps :)

3 replies

Taxojax · 10/03/2021 03:14

Hi!
I was thinking about my daughter, she's 1 and a half, I was thinking about siblings and age gaps and hoped I could get some experiences/opinions about this.

Due to going back to university, we won't be able to have a baby for another 4.5 years. (Degree + 2yr masters). Me and my partner want more children and are prepared to wait to make sure we do what's best for our daughter. However, I'm worried the longer I leave it, the more distance there will be between her and her sibling/s.

I then would really like to either have another or try fostering, something I have been wanting to do since I was a teenager. I'm aware a foster child isn't a "makeshift sibling" however it seems more sensible to do fostering before I have another child. I also have considered fostering to adopt with young siblings.

More background, I'm aware people on mumsnet can be pro-planet and want to lay my stance as:
Me and my partner are considering adoption for LO 2/3. You know, the whole 2 adults, 2 children thing. But adoption wouldn't harm the planet and it would certainly give us the chance to give all our love to a child who may not be recieving it, which brings us to.. ages.

By the time all the baby/adoption/fostering madness kicks off, my LG will be atleast 5, possibly 6. I could have another earlier but we would struggle financially and I could never do that to my daughter.

Basically my question (with the bit of background) is, is 6 years a good/bad age gap? Would it be ideal for fostering (under 5s) as in my county, birth children have to be the oldest. Should I consider taking the plunge and doing it earlier, which could be affordable if we really tried but would put stress on us as a family? Or should I wait until she's even older so she can cope better?

Yes, I'm also aware I'm overthinking this. Wink

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Bringallthebiscuits · 10/03/2021 06:02

Lovely thing to do. You could go to fostering info sessions run by your local council now just to get information and their thoughts on some of these questions. Or try posting this on the adoption/fostering board?

Taxojax · 11/03/2021 01:03

Grin good idea, thanks! X

OP posts:
sarahang · 11/03/2021 01:16

Lots of people have opinions on sibling age and closeness, but I really don't think it works like that. Sex, common interests and compatible personalities are much more important than closeness in age.

Of the siblings I know, the only ones that seriously fight and have real intense rivalry are same sex siblings born 13 months apart. On the other hand, my two are really close, have a three year age gap and are currently planning their first holiday away together without me (they're older teens).

There is no right age gap. It's what works for you.

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