Friend told 8yo DC about Friday the 13th

[HeyGirlHeyBoy]

I had a fairly upset and frightened child at bedtime tonight after his good friend drew a picture of a drowning in school and told him about a horror movie. He said it was Nightmare something but I think it was Friday the 13th? Anyway he is a lovely boy and his family is lovely so I'm quite surprised and I'm wondering what is the best thing to do-flag it to teacher as it happened in school or ask the mum to what, not have him talk about it to my DC? I think it's fairly adult rated, at least 15s, so I am wondering if that is enough?

Anyone?

I don't think it's anything to the flag tbh

Do you mean Nightmare on Elm Street?

Just explain it’s a movie. Kids talk about all kinds of stuff. It’ll be forgotten by tomorrow. It would be weird to flag it up.

Ds has asked me to say something.. You don't think it's off for an 8yo to be watching it? I don't know why I can't find any age rating bar 18+ in Canada.

Well it’s not ideal but it’s not your kid. Is your DS 8 too? In that case he’s old enough to mention to the teacher himself of he’s uncomfortable or better still, tell his mate, can you not talk about that please, I don’t like it.

Are you sure it wasn’t bedtime delaying tactics?! They can become scared and worried about all kinds of stuff that they’re not really just to have mum or dad hang around when they should be asleep.

You can't be sure he's actually watched it. He could have heard about it from older siblings.

I think it's that it comes to his mind at night and he was worried about dreaming of it. Yes he's 8 too. It was out before he realised as they were drawing side by side and friend just described what he was drawing.. Not purposely to scare etc. He had a chainsaw in his story last week too, again said he got it from a horror. I just think it's a pity really. I have said of course it's not real, they're not for chikdren etc.

He doesn't have an older sibling and ds had mentioned in the summer he saw some 18s on dvds in his room.. I know he has talked about some older subjects say before, as in about concentration camps age 6/7 etc so I think he's just treated quite grown up.

Well if he’s actually exposed to watching voilent films that are 18 certificates of his own volition then that would be a safeguarding issue.

well you could ask the teacher to move him to sit next to someone else.
and tell the other boy's parents that he mentions films that are not rated for children, do they let him watch them ?
and don't let your son go to his house.
but unfortunately, they will soon be passing round horrible pornographic material, you can't entirely protect them.
maybe just work on his communication and assertiveness skills.
ie to remove himself from anything/ anyone where he gets cold pricklies feelings; and to learn to distinguish those from warm fuzzies.

Thank you. Yes I've always dreaded the inevitable spread of porn etc.. What can we do to prevent? A quick show and it doesn't matter about assertiveness, I would say he is fairly assertive but funny enough does hate anything frightening, even less scary stuff. So if he is watching, I've more reason to think he is than he's not, you would say something? I find it hard to ask is he to the mum as obviously he is her son, not mine! I'm wondering should I 'assume' he's not but just said he's been talking about it and ds was a bit frightened. Obviously no one is going to houses at the moment but it's a pity that no, I won't be able to let him go to his house now...

When I was about that age we were all obsessed with nightmare on elm street, Friday 13 th etc. I don't think anyone i knew had even seen those movies, the stories just went round the playground as kind of rumours or ghost stories. I think that made it even more scary as it was more like a rumour of a real thing than a movie plot.

Not sure what to suggest except to clarify to your ds that it is a movie plot not something real.

Just to throw it out there, on roblox there's games with horror characters and themes - so he may not have necessarily seen the films but is aware of the characters.

My 12 year old plays them and occasionally her 8 year old sister has peeked at her phone.

Also with streaming services they can see programmes/films pop up that are unsuitable. We had nowtv movies for a while and dd1 asked about one of the child's play films thinking it was for children as its a doll. They didn't have separate profiles like Netflix does.

But if you believe he is being exposed to adult films by his parents then you should speak to the school (they are probably aware anyway, but if its affecting you ds they will have to either move his seat or speak to the parents)

In answer to your question I would speak to the school rather than the parent, unless you are friends with the parent.
You don't necessarily know how the parent will approach it with their son, the last thing you want is for your son to be teased for getting scared. (I'm not suggesting its wrong that your son is frightened, my dd2 gets scared easily, but children can be cruel at that age)

Yes I was surprised he asked me to say it for that reason.. I do know the mum but only as a mum iyswim, I wouldn't be in touch with her but have her number. She's absolutely lovely. The friend is the type that wouldn't make any thing of it for ds as well, I don't think.

It's possible he's seen the films but I do notice a lot of characters from films appearing in things like video games, YouTubers talks about them. My ds is that age and has certainly never seen IT but knows he's the scary clown with the red balloon.