Do you ever worry that what you do now when the children are little will impact them in the future?

[NAB3littlemonkeys]

I am talking the not so great things.

Not enough attention.
Sending them to their rooms/the corner/naughty step.
Shouting at them.

etc etc etc

Especially when you know you should be doing better?

Issy, you explained it very well.

I wonder if the posters are quite relaxed about their parenting and make joke-like comments about their kids needing therapy later, have all had good, happy childhoods; and the posters who are a bit more emotional and worried have had awful ones......

my childhood was mis-spent i fear, by my parents and do have happy memories of course, and love them now etc..no abuse just seventies neglect - its a bottle of COKE and crisps in car car park, outside bars iirc..
but
ended up good idea of how NOT to do things later and for long time never wanted kids...they never seemed that happy..

and dont do SHOUTY much
..i like my bribes threats andn warnings to come in a hissed whisper ..uber effective!

Shreddies, I only discovered a few years ago, when I was over 30, that my mother's mother had been very seriously depressed through most of her childhood. Even to the point of attempting suicide. My mother had told us soooo much about her childhood, loads of happy stories, but the truth was much more complicated.

I do think if you can avoid repeating negative patterns (bloody hard but if you just make the attempt) things can improve generation on generation. My stepmother had an really dreadful childhood - about as bad as you can get - but was a mostly OK mother to my half-sister, despite not having any experience of good parenting herself. And my half-sister is a bloody good mother.

Edam, that's very sad. I think you are right when you talk about making the attempt - that's what it comes down to imo - a bit of graft sometimes, combined with some self awareness. I'm pretty pragmatic and up most of the time, and my DH is from a very settled and happy family, so hopefully DS will have as good a chance of happiness as anyone

Every day