Toddler and Newborn - How do people do it!

[Noauthorityhere]

Hi all. I have DS who is 2.5 and DD who is 11 weeks and EBF. Im a SAHM, have been since DS was born. DH is very hands on around working full time and I get lots of help from my wonderful MIL. But my goodness I'm finding it very hard going right now. How on earth do people juggle 2? I know they do it, and I feel like with all the help and support I am surrounded with, I should be finding this easier than I am. But it's just so relentless. I'm not getting a minute to myself and its incredibly draining. DS dropped his daytime nap just before DD came along, and he has just learnt how to escape his room and so it's just full on right from the off each day. When will it get easier - 18 years time? Does anyone have any tips?

Reading all the comments and it’s making me nervous about what to expect now
I have a DD who is coming up to 15months and expecting in May. I have a lot of support but it’ll still be a struggle.
Just going to take it day by day 😬

Btw will I get too hot in the summer using a baby sling? I’ve never used one before. I’ve used a baby carrier maybe twice or three times.

I've used slings for all mine, during summers and heatwaves and it has been fine. You could get a lightweight fabric wrap.... They are great for newborns upwards.

I have a 2.5 year old and a 4 month old. Thought I’d managed the impossible and had both asleep by 7.30... they both woke simultaneously about 15 mins ago. DS is wailing inconsolably (sounds poorly) at DH and I’m stuck under DD feeding! No idea what’s going on as they are usually both surprisingly good sleepers!

I feel bad for DD sometimes as DS is going through a really anxious phase and needs lots of attention and reassurance so DD just gets plonked on the floor with a couple of toys of books and left to get on with it quite a lot. Thankfully she’s very chilled out! She did go through a phase of only contact napping and needing it to be super quiet so DS has watched WAYYY too much crap on YouTube and Disney+ but you do what you’ve got to do!

I use the sling a lot. I can feed in the sling (ring sling or woven wrap, haven’t managed in the Tula yet) if I have to which isn’t entirely hands free but gives me a bit more freedom. I still dread walks on my own a bit as DS won’t sit in a pushchair and can be super difficult/defiant at times so I tend to leave the longer trips for when DH is around, and just go to the park (enclosed!) or for shorter walks on my own. If I can manage to wrestle DS into clothes and get him out the door that is 😂

17 month gap between my two little ones and a 4.5 year old at the time... baby born at first lockdown and I'm not going to lie, it nearly broke me. Easier now as we approach first birthday

Defiant is a good word for DS. Tantrum no1 today was because DH dared to suggest he might like to wear his dressing gown downstairs. Apparently that was totally unacceptable. I think we just have to finally let go of any expectation that life will be remotely the same. Whereas until now we have been clinging desperately to the idea of a few hours in the evening together, fairly leisurely wake ups.

You mean oyu were having time together in the evening and leisurely wake ups before the baby arrived?! We still hadn't reached that stage with DS when DD arrived, so didn't miss it! DS was convinced that the day started at 5am from about 15 months until about 3 1/2, and never went to sleep before about 10pm - a small baby on 2 hourly feeds really didn't make much difference.

I know I know, we were ridiculously lucky DS slept like a teenager until very recently.