AIBU re bath

[numberblocksrule]

Regular mumsnetter, NC for this

Had a little disagreement with DH and just wondering what you guys do/think. Thanks

DD1 is 4.5yo and DD2 is 3. When they have a bath occasionally I go to the next room and fold clothes.

Bath water is 1-2in high and, not only do I have the doors fully open, the walls are almost paper in this house (super annoying actually I can hear everything when someone goes to the bathroom ). I keep my ears attuned to what is happening and keep checking.

DH doesn't like it because I'm not constantly in the room.

I feel like the kids are older now and I can let them play a little bit. Am I being a horrible parent??!!

At what age did you feel more comfortable leaving your kids semi-unattended in the bath?

1 to 2 inches of water? That's not a bath. They're just skiddling.

Give them.a proper bath. They're old enough for more water than that, and they'll be fine playing if they're together and you're checking and listening all the time (although I would really just stay in the room).

Am I missing something here? Short of some kind of fit or slipping accident, how on earth are these 4 year olds at risk of drowning? They have legs and arms and are sat on their butts playing with toys anyway. Of course it's ok to leave them within earshot to stand on the landing. The world is full of risks. We teach them age appropriate stuff all the time. Do you all watch them every second of the day? Mine are older now but I'm pretty sure by age 4 I was leaving them briefly whilst in earshot.

I don’t believe for a moment that it’s just 1-2 inches of water. That’s nothing. And if it is that little that can actually be worse as they’re more likely to slip and bang their head than they are in a fuller bath where they slip and land on their backside on water.

Not worth the risk OP and I’m amazed so many people on here then a) it’s ok to leave a 3 year old unsupervised in the bath and b) that a 4 year old is capable of supervising a 3 year old in the bath.

Who the fuck only gives their child an inch of water to bathe in?

We do proper deep baths and I was in there with them until about 5, couldn't trust them not to drown each other.

I would out more water in and stay with them.

They're not babies or toddlers, they're preschoolers. They can have more than an inch of water which sounds bloody miserable

I wouldn’t.
Drowning is silent and can happen very quickly.

I am a very risk adverse person but I really can't see the problem with popping in and out the bathroom but staying very close by with a 3+ year old in the bath.
Assuming they are not physically disabled, they're not frightened of having their head near the water (to avoid a panic reaction), you use a non-slip bathmat and you know that they sit sensibly, a 3 year old is not at risk of sudden drowning in the way a baby or small toddler is. If they ended up with their face in the water, they'd just get up as they are physically strong enough to do so, even in a few inches of water (maybe not in a very deep bath).
The exception would be in the case of an accident that would render them unconscious, such as banging their head hard, which you'd hear if you were close by (and also why I wouldn't leave a child of any age who doesn't sit nicely). Or having a fit, which could happen spontaneously at any age (and of course if they were prone to these, I wouldn't leave them unsupervised anyway).

I'd worry more about them turning in the hot tap and scalding themselves so again would a) ensure the domestic hot water supply is set to a lower temp and b) be sure that they can be trusted not to touch / play with the taps.
Mine could swim at least a few strokes without buoyancy aids by 3, although I appreciate the pandemic may mean that current 3-4 year olds may not have had the opportunities to develop these skills yet.

I didn't leave mine in the bath until older than that, I agree with your DH.

This article says 6 howtoadult.com/old-kids-bathe-themselves-32673.html

I googled to see where I was on the neurotic scale

I’d pop next door to get the clothes and then fold them
whilst watching them. I wouldn’t get on with a whole task out of eyesight but equally I wouldn’t be glued to the bath unable to leave the room momentarily

I agree with your DH here, little ones can drown very easily and in not a lot of water. Too young I'm afraid let the folding wait until after, it can wait. I personally didn't feel comfortable leaving mine until around 8ish. Things can go so terribly wrong very quickly hence all the warnings not to leave small children in or near water alone for any amount of time.

From around 3 we implemented a call and response routine around bath time. I would go off somewhere else on the same floor as the bathroom and get stuff done, and we’d take turns singing lines of a favourite song or nursery rhyme.
Just don’t do this with let it go or row your boat. Flood alert.

Sorry- I'm with your husband. They are not old enough if one slips under/ rolls over. It's also not exactly a fun experience for them with no water. More water and supervision would be my advice.

At 1-2 inches of water, they will be fine. My dogs water bowl is more of a drowning risk than that!

This is incorrect, an inch of water is enough to drown in.

kidshealth.org/en/parents/safety-drowning.html

[quote ChameleonClara]This is incorrect, an inch of water is enough to drown in.

kidshealth.org/en/parents/safety-drowning.html[/quote]
For a 4 year old though? How is a 4yo going to drown silently in an inch of water?

Mine is almost 4 and I've popped in and out to do chores for a while now. The amount of noise she makes I'd know instantly, but really the risk is tiny once they have control over their limbs!

I guess everyone makes their own judgements, but when people drown they don't have control. What happens is they inhale some water, panic, then inhale more.

A child around that age that I used to regularly babysit once fell asleep in the bath. His mum had asked me to fold the kids laundry while she helped an older sibling with homework in the room across from the bathroom. She was supervising the bath from the next room basically. I walked into the bathroom to put away some towels and saw the kid lying face up in the bath asleep. If there had been slightly more water in the bath he could have drowned in that position. If he had turned over in his sleep he could have drowned. I woke him up immediately and he was so cross with me for spoiling his nap.

I cannot believe you give your 4 year old a bath in an inch of water..that's terrible! Your kids must be freezing in that! run them a proper bath and stay in the room ffs

Kids play very well in a bit of water. Basically when they sit their knees are out of water. It's a waste to use more water just for them to prentend they're in a swimming pool! They just get scrubbed with the soapy water and then wash their hair and body with clean water from the shower head.

Of course the bathroom is warm, we have radiators besides the crazy kids want tepid water would be way too cold for me

I feel the same as some posters, my kids are not babies/toddlers anymore, they have body control and can push their head out of the water. Also, they're not afraid of water in their face. And they're not going to nap with a screeching sibling next to them! But good points

If I have to stay there all the time then bathtime (basically play with water time) will get severely reduced.... I have stuff to do! And there's a new baby in the house so less time for me to do said things..... (baby is watched like a hawk!)

I never left them in the bath by themselves until a couple of months ago but I know their abilities. Yes, they can bang their head on the tap but I would hear it. Any little noise or absence of noise and I'm there! Always listening for both their voices, I never turn off. I'm aware is not without risks, sure. So is everything! Are you constantly on top your older children?

@BlueSoop

YABVVU. A child can drown in as little as an inch of water. This is incredibly dangerous. You’re not a “horrible” parent but you are risking the life of your child and it’s neglectful imo.

This advice is aimed for babies for cannot right themselves or sit up if they slip down.

The only way this would apply to a 2 year old, is if the 2 year old has a medical condition that caused them to lose consciousness.

Or maybe if the 2 year old was very sleep deprived / falling asleep at the time of the bath.

I have a 2.5 year old and see no issue with this. He has more than a few inches of bath. I sometimes nip in and out or do something in the next room, but I talk and sing with him constantly while I'm not in the bathroom with him.

YABVU to bath your kids in 1 or 2 inches of water. They will be cold and dirty.