5 year old obsessed

[stressedsloth]

Hi All,

My 5 (almost 6) year old boy is obsessed with video games. We don't have a console at home, he plays on his grandads SNES about once a week for a few hours and then talks, nonstop about it all week until he can next go. I'm talking the second he wakes up to going to bed. It's exhausting. I'm fighting getting him his own because he seems so young to be sat playing video games. I feel like I'm robbing him of his childhood. He's got an amazing imagination and loves to play with toys.

I've considered buying him a vtech something but I think it will be a waste as he really just wants mario. And the other huge problem is that he doesn't actually play them. He wants to watch us play which is fine for 20 minutes but anything longer feels draining when we don't actually want to play it. So yeh, I'm not buying him something that he won't actually play, until he proves to us that he can and will play it without needing us every time.

My nephew got a 3DS when he was 5 and now he just plays video games all the time at the age of 7 and is obsessed with mine craft and roblox. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I think my son should be playing with his brother and toys still and not playing video games.

He has a tablet which he became obsessed with in lockdown last year. We tried to be strict but with the chaos of working from home it quickly became a go to for all of us. Luckily we managed to curb it with set times.

My son does have quite an obsessive nature so I do think holding off on this is for the best. It would break my heart if he was so young and stopped playing with his toys.

I guess I just need help with will power and somebody to tell me I'm doing the right thing because I do feel guilty keeping it from him when he LOVES it so much.

Does anybody else have this dilemma?

Thanks

Given your description, I'd be considering asking granddad to not let him play on his SNES (whatever that is ).

I agree with you totally. DS is too young. Video games are so addictive and a absorbing that it would make traditional play seem a boring alternative. Kids need to play to learn about the world and where they fit into it. Dressing up and pretend play, arty stuff, Lego , Playmobil, soft toys, books etc all let kids experience different things and learn about feelings too. Maybe tell him video games are what he can do at grandads and is their 'thing'. Would he play any make believe games or draw/paint, build Lego world's based on the video games he loves? That way he could get his fix but also enjoy traditional play. He might need some help at first "let's build a new house for the fox in animal crossing ' or let's pretend we are on an adventure from one of his favourite games. What will you wear, take with you, what are you going to do there etc. Playmobil and Lego figured can represent video game characters and scenarios made up for them to act out. You could get him to make playdoh figures and paint and draw things based on his games. That way you are using his enthusiasm in other ways?

@Dodgypainting

I agree with you totally. DS is too young. Video games are so addictive and a absorbing that it would make traditional play seem a boring alternative. Kids need to play to learn about the world and where they fit into it. Dressing up and pretend play, arty stuff, Lego , Playmobil, soft toys, books etc all let kids experience different things and learn about feelings too. Maybe tell him video games are what he can do at grandads and is their 'thing'. Would he play any make believe games or draw/paint, build Lego world's based on the video games he loves? That way he could get his fix but also enjoy traditional play. He might need some help at first "let's build a new house for the fox in animal crossing ' or let's pretend we are on an adventure from one of his favourite games. What will you wear, take with you, what are you going to do there etc. Playmobil and Lego figured can represent video game characters and scenarios made up for them to act out. You could get him to make playdoh figures and paint and draw things based on his games. That way you are using his enthusiasm in other ways?

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

I get him to draw mario and Kirby drawings watching tutorials on YouTube which helps me out because he's not a fan of drawing and colouring but he does get in to this for a short while.

He's lost interest in all his Lego which is no doubt due to his fixation with a video game he plays 1-2 hours a week. It's nice to hear his imagination run wild when he talks about it and plans what's he's going to do when he does play it. I've tried getting him to draw his own levels but he's not interested.

I could get him the mario Lego for his birthday but I still feel like I'm adding fuel to the fire.

I'm off this afternoon with him so I'm going to have a go at showing him how we can make our own video game levels with Lego. I'd best get googling for ideas. Thanks so much for this.

Play doh is a good idea but he doesn't have confidence in doing things himself so he would get us to do it for him or he will up and move on to something else.

I think it's a lockdown issue that has arisen because last year he was more independent and would do all of these things on his own and now needs us to do it all for or with him. Quite upsetting really.

Lockdown has definitely not helped I’m sure and hopefully when he’s back at school he might be happy to tinker about with his lego or play doh once he’s used to being a bit more independent again. I wouldn’t worry about getting him the Mario Lego because he is still playing and building things and will be using his imagination in a way that he can’t when he’s playing the actual video games.

A lot of kids this age have obsessions - dinosaurs, vehicles, football etc. I think they can be incorporated into all sorts of play such as digging up dinos in their sandpits, making play doh dinosaurs , pretending to be dinosaurs etc. I reckon once a week having a good game session session with his granddad is fine and you can resist pressure to get a console at home by making out it’s a special thing to do at granddads. If he gets wind that you disapprove it sort of makes it a forbidden fruit and something he wants to do even more.

I would absolutely agree that he is too young, and all of your instincts are correct. It is vital for children’s development that they have a chance at an early age to experience things in a concrete and active way. You are not being mean, you are being kind. As an early years educator, we are asked to assess the children against whole variety of goals (you can look up ‘Early Learning goals’ if you are interested) which include things like creative and imaginative play, as well as how they socialize, and of course maths and phonics, understanding of the world, and so on. Myself and colleagues do see a real difference between children who have too much screen time, and those that have more of a balance.

Video games - especially the online ones like Minecraft and Roblox - are designed to be addictive. An awful lot of thought and science goes into maximising the time children spend on those games. It is disgusting, and you are right to fight it any way you can

My son (almost 7) loves SNES too. We have one and have a switch that he mainly plays the old fashioned games on too. My son likes talking about them a lot but still only has a short amount of time on them and does lots of playing with other things.

I think in your shoes I’d hold off for a few more years, if you think your son would want to play it all the time.

I think it’s kinda nice he has something fun just with his grandad.

I think the specific game played make a difference too though. A lot of the old SNES Mario games have short levels and are easy to pause part way through. I think the more modern games encourage children to play for longer and are harder for them to come off.