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P1 hates school drop off

8 replies

Stroan · 02/03/2021 13:51

DD started P1 last August and has always hated going into the playground at the normal drop off time. We began sending her to breakfast club, which she loved. We know at least 3 other families who have the same issue and also found breakfast club easier.

Now, she's back at school (we're in Scotland), but breakfast club is only for children of keyworkers. She is in floods of tears as soon as we pull into the car park and really clingy. She's never been clingy or nervous and is happy outside of school. When I ask what's wrong she tells me that she really hates that playtime.

This morning, I stayed a bit longer to watch. She went over to a bench, sat down alone, and stared at her feet. Occasionally she would look up to see if I was there and was visibly very upset. She wasn't engaging with anyone. The HT came to the fence and asked me to move on (because of Covid, not because I was unsettling her).

My main issue is that 4 different adults - gate supervisor, HT, DHT and another member of staff - were in the playground, they watchedher come in upset, one asked me if she was ok and then they all ignored her and another upset child. This happens every day.

Because of Covid, they couldn't use their buddy system so I'm conscious that this school start has been in much more difficult circumstances.

She's my oldest and the school thing is new to me - I'm really not sure what is fair to expect of them? I appreciate that maybe she needs to just get on with it but I also can't get past 4 adults ignoring an upset child.

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TheCatWithTheFluffyTail · 02/03/2021 13:52

Can you email her teacher your concerns so that the school can make sure she has some company and friends rather than sitting alone?

Stroan · 02/03/2021 15:07

This is going to sound like a drip feed, but they are already aware we are concerned - there have been some violent incidents (she's been the recipient) plus some odd behaviour so I've discussed this and various issues with both her teacher and the DHT, verbally and in writing. They know that we had to use breakfast club because we couldn't get her through the gate otherwise. We are definitely not alone in this either.

The teacher isn't in the playground though. 4 other staff are and still do nothing to help her.

Sorry, didn't want to make the OP ridiculously long with all this background.

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Stroan · 02/03/2021 15:10

I guess what I'm asking is whether I should be expecting the school to actually do something.

Also, she is definitely not the only one. One of her friends was also there, also very upset and also ignored. No matter how much I encourage them to play together, she just won't.

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peasoup8 · 02/03/2021 15:13

When reading your post I imagined myself watching my child sit alone and upset on a bench and it almost brought me to tears! That’s so sad and heartbreaking that the four adults did nothing to help. I would be really upset about that and would have said something to the head teacher when they asked you to move on. It doesn’t sound like a very caring place!

MixedUpFiles · 02/03/2021 15:15

The school should be addressing the problem.

Since they are not, I would look for a solution. Can you wait to drop off until the very last minute? Is there someplace you could wait with your dd nearby and then swoop in just before the cutoff so she doesn’t have to spend any real time on the playground?

ohwaitthatwasme · 02/03/2021 15:17

Breakfast clubs should be back on the 15th according to NS today. Not much help for you right now but there is that to come back to very soon.

One of mine used to go in through the main office as she couldn't cope with the playground/line up

Stroan · 02/03/2021 16:03

@ohwaitthatwasme fab news, I hadn't caught up with the latest announcement. She will be over the moon!

@peasoup8 it broke my heart, I cried all the way home. My point to my husband is that if that is how she is treated when I'm at the fence, what is it like when I'm not?

@MixedUpFiles unfortunately not as I need to get home for work by 9am, it's already the absolute latest I can take her.

She's home, seems happy enough, says she just hates that playtime.

I am going to email the HT though, partly because I hate the thought that she thinks I was lingering for a chat and partly because I want to know why they are still not tackling this. I genuinely can't imagine being an adult in that playground and being able to ignore upset children.

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peasoup8 · 02/03/2021 16:42

@Stroan I agree, definitely email and complain. Good luck.

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