Is it my fault?

[MamaOl93]

Yesterday my little boy was playing in the garden with my sister and she made a comment saying “he’s got only child syndrome”
I asked her what she meant, and she said because he said he wanted to play by himself.
I said that him being an only child wasn’t his fault
His father left me when I was very early pregnant we never saw him again.
Then my other sister said to me “no it’s your fault, for not having another child with someone else”
This has really shocked and upset me and I don’t know what to think?

Well it’s true that you are the person who is, thankfully, in charge of whether you have another baby. But “fault”? Ridiculous. Your sisters are dicks and should be apologising to you. How dare they say that about your little boy. Nothing wrong with being an only child and there is no such thing as “only child syndrome”. Don’t waste any time worrying about this.

If you and you're little boy are happy ignore her!

She sounds like a bit of a twat, no wonder he didn't want to play with her!

@Rainbowroads I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being an only child either. Before my son I wanted more but actually since having him and being on my own my opinion has changed, now he’s at a certain age I feel too much time has passed, too big an age gap.
That’s not even the point though, the point is what you said, and thank you. X

@noideabutstilltrying very happy! It’s just made me feel awful x

@EspressoExpresso I could never imagine saying anything like that to them lol!

With sisters like yours, being an only child seems preferable hehe!

I have two children. Same sex, close in age. Sometimes they play together. Sometimes they want to play alone. They aren't together constantly.

How strange! And they're your family!

My lo is and always will be an only child. Slightly different scenario in that I chose to have a child alone. But it's always been understood by my family that as much as I may have wanted a second, I felt that meeting the needs of my only child was paramount, before you get into the dynamics of a second re the father/sperm donor, age of me and the age gap...
In fact they'd have probably have thought that I wasn't putting my first child's needs if I had ttc a second.

We have a great life. And no matter how we would have managed, in terms of finances, time etc, my first lo would have also lost out on opportunities.

Fwiw, the child in our family that you'd say has "only child syndrome" in terms of slef centredness and struggling is actually the middle of 3 children!

Agree with everything said on thread! I honestly cannot win and I’ve realised that, no matter what I do! I give up, lol. 💐

At least he won't have siblings bring as many as this to him!

• being

They were rude. I can understand why it wound you up. I think it’s great that your son enjoys his own company and is happy to play alone, that’s a positive thing. If he had a sibling he may still be the same (I have a sister but also loved to play alone as a child).

I'd be really upset if my siblings said something like that to me. How rude, especially given the circumstances (being left when you were pregnant). Do you have a good relationship with your sisters generally? Perhaps keep your distance a bit if they often say things like this!

@Msfoxy17 I have to be honest, it’s the tip of the iceberg. This isn’t an isolated incident and I’ve confided in my friend about everything that has happened over the past year and she says it’s abusive x