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Original poster

why do people just have no consideration? (long rant)

16 replies

nightowl · 29/10/2004 02:12

i wasnt going to post but need to vent...two things tonight have peed me off so much. went to my friend's house. when i walked in with baby she told her dp to go smoke elsewhere...(i DO NOT allow anyone to smoke near my baby) he did this but later on i saw him smoking in the living room...and it wasnt a cigarrette either. i told her i was going home. she looked confused and when she saw him smoking she told him to go do it elsewhere (again). he basically laughed and said my baby would sleep well tonight...i was bloody fuming...how i kept my mouth shut i dont know...but hes not the nicest person and i know he would take it out on her when i went home. anyway, he did as requested. later, when i went home i caught a taxi as i dont drive. i was strapping the baby's car seat in and all i could hear was taxi driver saying "oh its only a short journey...just sit in the back with her...we'll be here all night" to which i firmly replied "no, im strapping her in"...so sorry for this but what the f**k is wrong with people? why do they not have any respect for children? well sorry but i won't risk mine for anyone....ggggrrrrrrrrrrr...so effing angry.

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Yorkiegirl · 29/10/2004 06:58

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nightowl · 31/10/2004 00:24

its a sad fact that i know some taxi drivers myself...they used to be friends of ours and they would work 24hrs without sleep...not exactly the safest thing in the world! im damn sure that baby will be strapped in! not that im saying they all do that of course but you never know...and that could be any firm or any driver. i have calmed down now though...just told my friend i will not go there again if that is what will happen.

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JoolsToo · 31/10/2004 00:26

clunk click every trip! its sooo true - how annoying!

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blossomhill · 31/10/2004 00:29

I am exactly the same nightowl. Even now when my children are 5 and 6 I will not allow anyone to smoke in my house and certainly avoid taking them anywhere smoky! As for the seat belts, you were well within your rights and not forgetting it's illegal! I often have friends whose childern get in the car and say "mum says I don't need to wear a seatbelt" to which I reply "Anywone under 14 is my responsibility and I am not driving until it's on!"

KangaMummy · 31/10/2004 00:40

thats what I say too the engine does not start until belts are done up!!!

I think you were right to insist with the taxi well done for not agreeing with him.

Original poster
nightowl · 31/10/2004 01:17

i too often see people in cars with four children in the back...toddler standing up leaning between the front seats {shudder} it takes less than five mins to do up seatbelts...(less for one child). and ive often heard drivers say "oh but im a safe driver"...yes you may be but that doesnt mean everyone else on the road is...how stupid are these people?!!

and i am a smoker myself (unfortunatly) and i do not smoke in the house. for the sake of a couple of hours i would have thought someone could refrain.

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lulupop · 31/10/2004 13:25

Sorry to play devil's advocate here, but if the no smoking around your baby is so paramount to you (as it should be), why not just avoid taking him/her to places where you know you'll encounter smokers?

I feel the same way about smoke, but I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone else to refrain from smoking in their own home. If people wish to smoke, and in their own home to boot, that's their issue. If you want to avoid smoke, arrange to meet your friend somewhere else. It's not that complicated.

As for the seatbelt issue, I think loads of taxi drivers are like this. I just ignore them and get on with it. And don't tip.

JoolsToo · 31/10/2004 13:27

nightowl - all those loose cannons in the back seats is one of my SERIOUS pet hates -oooh it makes me sooo mad

Original poster
nightowl · 01/11/2004 02:18

lulupop, i dont expect anyone to not smoke in their own home. this was something my friend offered to do and she in fact was not a smoker anyway when i first had my baby. this is her decision and she sticks to it when any of her friends with babies visit. (and she has a lot of friends!) she is completely happy with it. not once did i or anyone else ever demand that she did not smoke in her own house. it was her newly moved in partner who blatently ignored HER rules in HER house. thats why i was upset because as you say...if i knew there was to be smoking in someone's house i just wouldnt visit. if he wants to smoke there and she's ok with that then all she has to say is "we smoke in the house now"...but for him to wait until i got there and then do it, its just not on. iyswim. and actually, if i smoked in my house i would be happy to not do it when i had visitors with babies. i like my friends to feel welcome, not like they have to stay away from me for any reason, especially when its sometimes awkward for us to meet up elsewhere. but then thats me and everyone is different.

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lulupop · 01/11/2004 07:12

I see what you mean Nightowl. I also refrain from doing or saying things in my house that certain people would dislike when they are present, but as you say, that's my own choice. If anyone actually said anything to me like could you stop doing XYZ, I'd politely but firmly show them the door. My home is my castle and all that.

Sounds like your friend might have a few teething problems with her new boyfriend. Maybe she needs to have a chat with him and lay down some ground rules.

Sounds like you're not that keen on him anyway... could you meet your friend at your house?

Original poster
nightowl · 03/11/2004 02:09

i admit im not keen due to the way he treated and continues to treat her but i dont say anything or show it. i have made a real effort to give him the benefit of the doubt and we did all actually have a really good time the week before. unfortunatly he made himself out to be just what he is last week its impossible for her to come to my house as she has four children and no transport...its a lot easier for me to go to her. i think i will give it one more try and if he does it again i will just tell her that i dont blame her but im not going there again as im not putting my child at risk. im not going to fall out with her...its not her fault.

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ernest · 03/11/2004 13:50

if i might join in the rant at inconsiderate smokers - we were in a cafe last weekend - quite full, so people were sharing tables. a woman came and sat at our table - we're there 2 little ones and baby on knee & she proceeded to light up! and there were other tables that had become free right by us, but she sat at our table having a coffee and fag while we were trying to eat our lunch. I was fuming

Bozza · 03/11/2004 14:42

We went to a christening the other week and it was a very smoky environment and (unsurprisingly) full of kids. DS (3.9) had a lingering smoky smell on his hair and clothes which made me sad. Fortunately DD (0.5) was recovering from chicken pox so we'd left her with my Mum. I'm wondering if I have the bottle to impose a smoking ban at DD's christening at the end of the month.

nightowl · 04/11/2004 00:34

This reply has been deleted

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ernest · 04/11/2004 13:56

I held our christening party in non-smoking room (and our wedding reception) and no one complained, not to my face anyway

Original poster
nightowl · 05/11/2004 01:29

well i think its perfectly reasonable to have your day as you want it...if its no smoking then so be it..its not going to hurt anyone and if they dont understand then imo its their problem.

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