I'm going mad with worry

[knitting774]

I've posted about this before, but I'm still so worried.

DS is almost 10 months and just doesn't seem to be progressing physically. He can now sit unassisted (although was slow to reach this milestone) but will often end up falling over if left after about 5-10 minutes. I think that's normal though isn't it?

What I'm really worried about is his lack of standing. He just isn't interested in weight bearing on his legs and if anything, I'd say he has got worse, just lifting up and curling his legs when I hold him in the standing position. Everybody else's babys are standing by now so how come DS can't?!

I've starting really panicking that he could have something wrong and have been reading through my birth notes (something I found extremely hard to revisit as I had a traumatic time with failed forceps, EMCS). It seems he got stuck and that's why I was rushed to EMCS, but was declared healthy and got full marks on the APGAR test after birth.

He's very alert in other ways and is a happy child. It's just the gross motor skills. He hasn't had the 8 month check and even when he does it will take place over Zoom which is totally wrong in my opinion - I really think these things should be face to face. I'm now freaking out that something could have gone wrong in the birth and I wasn't told or it wasn't picked up. Could he have brain damage from the forceps?!

I know I'm wishing his childhood away as I keep telling myself it'll be okay by 9 months, 10 months, 11 months. But nothing seems to be changing apart from the fact he's finally sitting up. I try to do tummy time but he hates it and cries after about 5 minutes.

Please help

I know a few not very physical babies/ toddlers and they have caught up within normal but on the later side of the milestones. I asked around when ds2 didn’t walk or crawl until he was 1yr. He then crawled (dragged himself) for a week until he walked by himself. He caught up fast!

People I saw said the babies fine motor skills were excellent and most of them talked earlier. Dsis in law daughter could say small sentences before she learned to walk! She still don’t like sport, but I think it is got to do with personality more than anything (and puberty).

@Kmgx27

Hi all, I've came to this thread because likewise I am worried about my little one.. I'm having a stress at the minute with my LO temperature. Before she second lot of vaccines her temperature sat between 36.6 and 37.0. The night after her injections her temperature went down to 35.9 and lower. We ended up in hospital for 12 hours and all tests were normal. And her temp went back up to 60s again. She is generally well happy chatty and taking bottles. Also noticed she is sweaty and her head would be cold. I am just worried and would like a bit or advice/guidance in this. Her temperature would sit below 60 at night? Is this normal? LO is 13 weeks

I'm not going to tell you it's nothing to worry about because I am not a doctor, but my wee boy was like that. I used to convince myself he had heart problems (?!) but it was just when he was in a very deep sleep he went very cold and pale. I used to try to wake him and panic if he wouldn't wake. Of course he wouldn't, he was in an deep sleep! I think we get so much information now about potential problems/SIDS/milestones etc it really panics us if we spot something completely out of the ordinary. But babies are gonna baby and we have to just go with it.

[quote knitting774]@itsgettingwierd thanks. I have no idea how to tell if his muscle tone is anything out of the ordinary - how do you know? He doesn’t seem particularly stiff or floppy? He does sometimes curl his legs up when I try to put him in standing position, but on the other hand, he can stiffen them too (usually when I’m trying to change his nappy).

Why oh why didn’t I insist on a caesarean? I’m so scared that the birth has somehow affected him [/quote]
If his muscle tone doesn't seem different to you'd expect it probably isn't!

This happened with a friend’s son. Everyone kept telling her not to worry and he’d catch up but he didn’t. She sought help and he was behind with his milestones.

However, he was referred to a physio, given some exercises and he came on leaps and bounds in no time! Now he’s 3yrs old and you’d never know he took a bit longer to get mobile.

I’d say it’s worth speaking to someone. Some extra support could make all the difference and ease your worrying.

Hi @knitting774 - I had twins, so their differences were really obvious. The girl twin had no interest in sitting or pushing up to her feet either. (The boy was an early walker and climber though 😱) She was a talker and singer, so nothing showing developmentally. A paediatric Physio told me I’d been too nice to her and picked her up every time she cried doing tummy time, and she had no core strength. (Abs of custard.) Her back muscles weren’t that great either. No wonder she couldn’t sit up. So we had to suddenly do the tummy time (torture) starting with one minute at a time every hour, and building up every day. She lent us a special swing that was low to the ground to keep baby’s tummy chest up and knees on the floor. (Might be a bit hard to sort that with Covid) once she had developed some muscle tone and that helped too. I’d have to lie on my tummy and play face down with her for ages as well. Eventually she began crawling....

Thanks @justilou1, that’s really helpful advice. I wonder if lack of tummy time could have hampered my DS - I feel terrible for not trying harder with it

How much tummy time should I aim for a day? Also, what age did your DD start crawling? DS does move backwards when on his tummy, but I’d say it’s more of a slide, definitely not a crawl.

She was REALLY late! As I said - a really precocious talker. (Still capable of talking under 20m of wet cement!) She was wiggling like a complaining, grub in a nappy for the longest time, even grabbing her brother’s ankle for sympathy. (Luckily he was heartless.) I don’t think she was ever really crawling, but she wasn’t walking PROPERLY until she was about 16 months. She was a pretty lazy kid though! She’d be lying on her back, playing with her toes and telling me in great detail about how sad she was at 11 months, but had no interest in getting vertical. Her paediatrician was convinced she’d get an Oscar.

That is all totally normal. Parenting is hard enough - don't make it harder with unnecessary worry and comparing to other babies

I’m going to really up the tummy time from today and see if it helps. He’s already done 10 minutes this morning!

Good work! But, if you don’t see any improvement in his strength in a month or two, demand a referral ASAP. Tell the GP what you have done, and why... I’m sure that there is nothing neurologically wrong by the sounds of things, but little kids develop at such rapid rates, I also wouldn’t leave it too long either. There are also muscular issues that affect infants. I’m pretty certain he’s fine, and it’s just lack of use, though. Good luck!

A lot of the time it’s down to personality - whether they want to do it. I remember seeing a friend’s 6 month old heave herself along the floor to get to a toy she wanted - the determination on her face was amazing! Whereas my DS was never bothered about rolling or crawling. He crawled at 11 months, walked at 17 months and is now the sportiest boy who loves being active especially climbing. It’s hard to imagine when he was 9 months and was perfectly happy sitting next to a box of toys exploring each one and had no desire to move along!

Sounds like my daughter, she didn't move an inch on her own until she was 19months - no crawling or attempting to stand, not even a bum shuffle! At about 15mths the HV suggested seeing a paediatrician which we did - she was hyper mobile in her hips meaning they are more flexible than is normal. The doctor said nothing to worry about in short term or long term, she just needed to build more muscle in her core and legs to support her hips than a normal baby would.
She is now 5 and never stops!
As others have said, speaking to a HV is a good idea, or you could try GP as I think they do the referral in any case - we had private cover so can't quite remember!

We’ve just done another 10 minutes of tummy time. I’m aiming for 30 minutes a day and will see if there’s any improvement by the time he’s 11 months.

Is it important to spend a lot of time sitting on his mat to build stomach and back muscles as well? He’s good at sitting unassisted now, but can’t get into the position himself.

Thanks @BakedBeeeen, that is reassuring.

Yes I would sit him up, put cushions etc all around him in case he wobbles over, then no harm can come to him. He won’t be using those muscles otherwise.

Hi @knitting774 i would really love to know the outcome of your concerns as I am going through the exact same thing now. I know this post is years old, but thought I would try!
thanks