Help - I NEED MY LO TO SLEEP

[firsttimemumma5]

Hi all,

I'm absolutely desperate for sleep. I need to sleep for more than an hour at a time or I'm going to go mad.

I was prepared to do the getting-up-every-hour when my daughter was newborn, and even at six months. But she's now nearly 13 months and she's worse at sleeping than EVER. She wakes constantly, and she screams and shouts and cries as soon as she is up. We've co-slept peacefully until now, but now she scares me every time she wakes up - she even hits and headbutts me if I don't respond to her (which I always try to get her to self-settle).

I've been trying to cut out night feeding (she still breastfeeds, although I'm beginning to wean), so I try to soothe her back to sleep by laying her back down and rubbing her back. That mostly works, but she just keeps waking all through the night. It used to be manageable ish because she'd wake up at 8am (and would have maybe had a long stretch of sleep from 5am), but now she's waking at 6am and I just can't cope anymore.

I'm back to work full time in a few months and I'm so anxious that I won't be functioning because of total lack of sleep. I'm exhausted and beyond breaking point. It is ruining my ability to parent, to function, and I'm miserable.

How did you get LO to sleep? Is there any sleep consultants you'd recommend, I'm so desperate? I've tried moving her to her cot but it's so difficult and she screams relentlessly. Please please help!

Have you tried the cot in another room? I moved both of mine out at 14 months due to waking me up instead of sleeping in our bed. They both still woke in the night but it really cut down how many times.

If you are night weaning, are you using the Dr Jay Gordon's Method? It's very gentle and she may respond to it.

12 Alternatives for the all night nurser might be helpful too.

You could try reading her Nurse when the sun shines as well.

Good luck OP.

Forgot to ask, what are daytime naps like? There may be some manoeuvre room there?

@BunnyRuddington thank you so much for this, will have a look at the links and fingers crossed it will help!

I have tried cot in her own room but struggled with the crying - but she does generally go down for naps in there so hoping nights will be easier soon.

Thank you!!

I have tried cot in her own room but struggled with the crying - but she does generally go down for naps in there so hoping nights will be easier soon

Did she settle if you went in and fed her?

What time is her last meal/drink?

Would she take a cold bottle of something if you have it next to the bed ready for her, in case it's hunger or thirst, instead of BF

(You might already)

Could she be teething? My twins, especially my boy twin, were very unsettled 12-16 months as they cut their molars and canines. Would often wake very upset in the night. We gave nurofen/calpol and used anbesol liquid.

@BunnyRuddington she settles if I go in a feed her, but as soon as I put her down in her cot she screams and screams - I go in every 10 minutes but that can last for hours without her giving in. It happens most nap times but she seems more willing to give in after about an hour or so, but at night she just refuses completely and if I don’t take her back to bed with me then we’re often up until 1-2 am and she’s a terror the following day.

@JackieWeaver her last solid meal is at 5.30 with water, and then she has a BF at 7 when I put her down and normally is asleep by 7.30. (She used to fall asleep on boob but now she lies down and I rub her back).
I’ve tried giving her water at night (always have her bottle with me) but she refuses to drink from it and throws it. She is going through a fussy period with food so I do wonder if she’s hungry, but she won’t eat anything anyway! I always give her one BF at night - at about the 3am wake, just in case she is hungry/thirsty, but have stopped all others.

@TwinMum89 I have wondered this too - I think her incisors are moving down. If the crying is non-stop I have given her calpol for it, and I do try some ambesol if I’m at a loss. But I’m not convinced that’s the full issue because she’s not at all fussed when she’s awake, or is that normal for it to be more painful at night?

As you are beginning to wean off BF, do you think she might like porridge at 19.00 instead, I think that's what I started doing.

If you are full on desperate, I would try cold turkey. Stop bf and do cc. It will be a very painful three or four days, but will probably work. No one is going to get much sleep for those days but it would be worth it for the long run

Have you managed to read the links yet @firsttimemumma5?

@BunnyRuddington yes I did! Thank you so much for them, they’ve given me different methods to think about.

I really like the sound of what Dr Jay Gordon recommends with the whole 7 hour non-feed hours. I definitely think that’s something I’m going to try (from tonight) and see if that helps set her expectations haha. 7 hours of solid sleep would be bliss!

Have you had any experience with it yourself? Thanks again!!