Does anyone else have a limpet baby?

[willowsandroses]

As much as I love ds (10 weeks) I do sometimes feel completely drained by him. He won’t let me put him down for even ten minutes, yet isn’t content to lie peacefully in my arms either - he squirms and kicks and wriggles! It’s pretty exhausting!

He’s better when out and about but how on earth can I get anything done?!

Both of mine were like this into toddlerhood.

Sling.

I tried to ‘train’ DS1 (my first) into not being so clingy by putting him down and letting him fuss/descend into traumatised screaming for ever longer periods of time with absolutely no effect. It made him even clingier and to this day, at the age of eight, his preference is to be in near or constant contact with me (he is old enough to know now that this is not on, but given his druthers he’d be in constant cuddle mode, or even just a hand on me continuously). It’s desperately irritating because I am not a touchy feely person.

DS2 I just kept constantly in a sling and co-slept, since I had to manage his toddler older brother as well when he was a baby. He clearly got the quota he needed because from about the age of three he doesn’t do cuddles or affection except for the very rare and precious occasion.

Just keep on carrying, OP. In my experience it’s what gets you greater freedom in the long term.

Agree re the sling - it saved us. Babies at this age often need the comfort of being held. The sling gives them that but let’s you get on with things. It’s a godsend!

The sling only works out of doors walking - he doesn’t really like it in the house! Plus I’m expressing milk for him but he’s so full on it’s hard finding the time, so I’m worried about my milk drying up.

My most limpet-like baby is now 8, and mostly wants to hang out reading by himself, it does pass, though it doesn't feel it at the time ! If he's ten weeks old and you're expressing, you need to get help from others if you need to get things done - appreciate this is easier said than done in lockdown though. Can your DH do more, your parents, could a family member move in on a short term basis, can you afford more ready made food, cleaning help etc? And dropping standards helps. I'm sure you've explored this, but is there an option to express less, either by getting someone to help.sort out bfing or by looking at formula alternatives? If it.works for you then it's great, but it's also important that you don't feel too drained, having a new baby is a marathon not a sprint.

Mine would never sit down in the sling, but were often more ok if I was doing an activity, and some slings are better for popping in and out at home and letting them have more of a view (mine liked ring slings for this, much more than the ergo). Also, your baby will soon have better head control and be able to see better which can help.

It doesn't feel it now, but it truly is a short time that things are quite so constraining, you can get through this.

My baby is 15 weeks and is 100% a Velcro baby BUT over the past couple of weeks she has been tolerating going on her play gym for 10 minutes at a time as long as I’m nearby. It still doesn’t mean I get much done but I can make and eat a bowl of cereal now which feels like progress! She wouldn’t even go to her Dad before without screaming blue murder and is getting better at this too so hang in there, it’ll get easier soon enough!

He does have formula as otherwise he’d starve but I would like to express more. I really want to get to 3 months in the first instance. I don’t have any family. I end up doing housework in the night!

Are you basically looking to be able to sit quietly with him either on your lap or on a bouncer/playmat OP? Because that never happened with either of mine. It was in a sling and moving constantly for the duration of their early years or it was Defcon 4 screaming. The only time I sat was when they were asleep on top of me (the only way they’d nap).

The best chance I ever had to get them off me, and possibly the best chance you have to express, was immediately following a nap. That seemed to be the only time they were both fed and settled enough to not need to be in constant contact with me and moving.

@willowsandroses

As much as I love ds (10 weeks) I do sometimes feel completely drained by him. He won’t let me put him down for even ten minutes, yet isn’t content to lie peacefully in my arms either - he squirms and kicks and wriggles! It’s pretty exhausting!

He’s better when out and about but how on earth can I get anything done?!

DS became like that around 11 months. It coincided with his molars erupting. And has been like that ever since. Even at nursery he needs to be cuddled and on the days he’s with us and I’m working from home he will throw tantrums if he can’t sit on my lap all the time. If he just sat there or breastfed I wouldn’t mind but he wants to work my computer and talk to colleagues too

@willowsandroses

He does have formula as otherwise he’d starve but I would like to express more. I really want to get to 3 months in the first instance. I don’t have any family. I end up doing housework in the night!

Oh poor you, that's awful. If you are really determined to get him breastmilk, have you had really good advice, or is that not possible in lockdown anyway? One of mine was not having any luck with feeding at all until we saw an amazing lactation consultant - I was also trying to express plus breastfeed plus formula and was totally shattered, good on you for doing it all, but please be kind to yourself. Let DH do the housework, you've both got full time jobs right now...

I’m pretty confident the breast feeding ship has sailed - tried EVERYTHING!

He’s lovely ... just when the dishwasher needs emptying and the washing machine needs putting on and I haven’t eaten ...

STOP DOING THE HOUSEWORK! Do you have a DH or DP? If they're not holding limpet baby, that's their job.

I had a limpet baby, I basically wore him all the time. He didn't love it in the house, but he quickly figured out that it was that or get put down. He's now a 20 month old independent toddler.