Hi all,
Feel like I need a rant and don’t really know where to turn.
My other half’s parents really haven’t been following the lockdown rules at all. They have a big family and have either been trying to visit others or having people round to theirs. His mother put us in a position around Christmas to drop in as the rules had been slightly loosened, and then asked us to go around at her birthday mid January. He said no to birthday invitiation as lockdown had completely tightened so I think even he realised how unreasonable that request was.
It was my other half’s birthday this week and she started calling and messaging saying she wanted to bring round a card. He felt awkward and wasn’t opening his phone. His way of dealing with these type of things is to ignore and hope the problem will resolve itself. We have been staying at my mums during this lockdown as we are an extended bubble, she lives alone and is our childcare while we work so it has been a lot easier staying there as a unit with the mixture of lockdown and homeworking and still within the rules and guideline. As other half hadn’t answered his phone his mother then started calling and messaging my mother to see if we were at hers or not. It totally changed the atmosphere of our day. She ended up coming round and he just sat at the door and tried to socially distance while chatting to her.
I am just fed up, his parents have no regard for the lockdown and then want to come into our safe space. They said to my SIL (also a DIL) they aren’t bothered if it’s their time it’s their time. She is getting fed up as they keep trying to go round to her house but she is in an extended bubble with her elderly father who lives alone and is in the vulnerable category. They have younger kids who they also visit and have been breaking the rules meeting up with friends so not like they are alone and not getting to see anyone at all.
I know it maybe sounds like a silly reason to be annoyed, she only wanted to drop a card for her son on his birthday, but I feel like she knows how to play him and that he would feel awkward outright saying he didn’t want her to come round. It’s caused a bit of friction between me and other half as I don’t understand why a full grown man can’t have an honest conversation with his own mother. We haven’t seen most family and friends for nearly a year as most of us are trying to do the correct thing. It’s infuriating. We have also returned to online grocery shops and really have been taking it seriously the full time.
It’s my little ones birthday in a couple of weeks and I can just imagine she will try to do the same thing again. I don’t want to be nasty and say no, but I also feel bad making somebody stand outside. If you are so desperate for them to have the card post it. Then in a few weeks when we can properly meet up outdoors we can have a proper celebration. Added note- there have been plenty of other birthdays of his she hasn’t even gave a card, so the cynical side of me feels like it’s an easy excuse to visit during lockdown.
Does anyone have any advice as making me angry towards other half and look at him as a bit weak. We have a toddler and I am pregnant, so I feel like he should be taking every precaution in keeping us safe especially when he knows they aren’t following the proper rules.