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Just found out that DD16 is self-harming

3 replies

LarryVeest · 23/02/2021 14:12

She told me herself via text (too difficult for her to talk about it in person). Apparently she's been cutting herself for several months due to being so stressed with school. We talk a lot about her school work situation, as she got very behind during the last lockdown...I kind of thought we'd ironed out the worst of the stress :-(

I'm a psychotherapist, which weirdly is making things feel even trickier. I feel sad (and a bit embarrassed?!) that she's felt unable to share her worries/stress, and I'm having to try not to sound too "counsellor-y" when I'm talking about it with her.

She's also asked that I don't tell her dad (DH) about it, as she doesn't want him to "see her differently" :-(. I'm going along with that for now, but hope she'll change her mind soon, as this is an awful thing to keep to myself. Again - I feel I should know how to deal with this aspect of it, being a therapist 'n all.

I'm also feeling so pissed off with her school, which as been absolutely useless during the pandemic (and tbh not that great before either...). It's no wonder she's feeling completely overwhelmed and at see with her work.

Not sure what I want, other than to get this off my chest.

OP posts:
LarryVeest · 23/02/2021 14:16

I think I want someone to tell me this is all going to be okay Sad

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PawPawNoodle · 23/02/2021 14:34

It'll be okay.

Help her to get the support she wants on her terms, and give her information on other ways to relieve the desire to harm herself in non-permnant ways (elastic band on wrist, drawing cuts on her arm in red pen, holding an ice cube on wrist etc)

When she's ready I'd explore whether there's anything more to it than just school work as it seems quite a severe reaction if it's only school stress.

LarryVeest · 23/02/2021 14:50

"When she's ready I'd explore whether there's anything more to it than just school work as it seems quite a severe reaction if it's only school stress."

Yes, I agree, although I have a feeling that DD has been struggling with some sort of SEN all throughout school...I made enquiries about a dyslexia assessment a couple of years ago, but was brushed off. She finds schoolwork really difficult, but is very uncomfortable with anyone seeing that she's struggling.

Also two of her best friends have developed fairly severe MH probs over the last year, which I think has taken its toll as well.

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