Help with 4 month old

[Sarahjane789]

My daughter is 4 months old next week. Since birth she has not slept for more than 2 hours day or night. Every might she is up pretty much every hour. I am co sleeping as she won't settle in the next to me. During the day she is in the sling for all her naps as that is the only way she will go down. She is very upset a lot. She was exclusively breastfed until a few weeks ago when she cried loads when I tried to breastfeed her, she now has a bottle and has only 2/3oz per feed. I have been to the doctors who said it sounds like silent reflux, she has been on iy for 4 weeks and is still so upset most of the time she is awake. Please help, what am I doing wrong? What can I do to help us both get more sleep and help her be a bit happier? I am currently walking around the kitchen with white noise on, the sling on and trying to get her to calm down. It is so hard, I really thought it would start to get a little easier by now :(

Firstly I’m sorry you’re having a rough time - I was in the exact same situation a few months ago so I know how hard it is.

I found my DD was constantly hungry hence the unsettledness. She wasn’t taking enough at each feed because she was in pain, hence why she was unsettled most of the time. I started using a faster flow teat (despite reading slow flow was better for reflux) and she went from drinking only 2/3oz to 6oz and was a lot happier!

Also do you think CMPA could be a possibility? Have you discussed it with a HV or GP?

Sorry your having a hard a time!

I second a faster teat!

Have you tried Carobel in her milk for her reflux?

I can't help re the reflux but my little girl used to scream and scream in the evenings and I think it was colic in hindsight or maybe that PURPLE crying.

Also with the breastfeeding, from 3-5 months she was a nightmare to feed! She would arch her back as if in pain, thrash about, get distracted and be on the boob for about 2 minutes before stopping and this would have to go on every hour as she was snacking. Someone sent me an article about the 3/4 month breastfeeding crisis which helped so much.

Then the 4m sleep regression hit for 3 weeks which was hell. Up every 2 hrs, no settling her and just manic.

Then after 5 months she's been tons better for breastfeeding and crying. We got a Dream egg from Amazon for white noise and it's been well worth the money as it saves our phones and the noise is so consistent and good quality.

I hope this passes for you soon. I always used to hate the advice about it passing but there are so many different stages with a baby im finding.

@GalaxyGirl24 What you describe in your post sounds very familiar - even down to buying the DreamEgg! Sounds like we’re a little way behind you - DD is 14 weeks - but I’m definitely seeing the short, distracted feeds. She pretty much only feeds with focus when feeding to sleep, but I’m reading you shouldn’t feed to sleep as they need to learn to self-settle or you’ll be stuck in the “regression” forever... Argh! What was the article you mentioned? I think I’d find that helpful.

@Sarahjane789 That all sounds so tough 😔 I’m at the same stage and don’t have any advice but just wanted to respond to your question “What am I doing wrong?” What I see in your post is a mum who is closely observing her baby, responding thoughtfully to issues, seeking appropriate medical (and Mumsnet!) support, and doing what you know works even when it costs you (eg all the slinging). Well done ☺️ Keep going...

Thank you all so much for your replies. I will definitely try a faster teat. I just feel awful that I am not breastfeeding her anymore :( I really wanted to make it to 6 months, but I guess 4 months is still OK.
I guess it is just a case of waiting for her to get a little older. @BerthaYoung your reply made me cry! Thank you, I am trying. I just want to be the best I can be for her but it is so so hard.

Hugs, @Sarahjane789 - honestly, your baby is lucky to have you. Do look after yourself, too 💐