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Is it the age gap?

6 replies

Duolino · 22/02/2021 14:41

Feel like my kids are sucking the soul out of me. I have a 2.5 year old whose behaviour
incredibly challenging at the moment. She's pushing boundaries constantly. Stealing food from the fridge, refusing to walk anywhere, won't wear shoes, won't wee on the toilet anymore and I tell her off firmly and she laughs in my face. She enjoys the naughty step so given up on that and she's smacking me.

My 7 year old has been much easier regards bad behaviour but is very curious and asks constant questions. Her sister's behaviour does not put her off asking questions and she'll shout over her sister's tantrums to ask about the solar system or random other topics when she can see I have my hands full.

I feel like I'm drowning. A pleasant trip to the park has turned out disastrously. I'm in a terrible mood and my youngest tells me she "likes" telling me no, when I've asked why she's behaved in a challenging way.

I get no support from my partner who just says "other people have it worse" whenever I get upset it overwhelmed by it all.

I thought an age gap was a good idea. Time to focus on each of them independently. But it's testing me hugely when they're both challenging in different ways and unable to occupy each other.

I don't know what to do?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
GrumpyHoonMain · 22/02/2021 15:57

Take your older dd out for a few hours regularly and leave the 2 yo at home with DP.

aapple · 22/02/2021 16:07

It sounds like your approach with the toddler isn't working. Read "How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen".

Duolino · 22/02/2021 18:00

I'm a primary school teacher so have lots of experience with little ones and after my eldest daughter, thought I knew how to handle tantrums quite well. My youngest has been extremely demanding since being a baby; part of me wonders if it's the children competing against each other. I find it difficult to snap from parenting a 7 year old at her level, to parenting at a level appropriate for the 2 year old. I feel like I need to split myself in 2. Also homeschooling on my days off and trying to occupy the 2 year old. Feels like my head is going to explode.

Work days are so much easier!

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Duolino · 22/02/2021 18:03

The eldest daughter also notices if I use different (age appropriate) parenting tactics with each of them and she gets upset if she sees that the 2 year old gets away with something that she wouldn't. Again, if she was at school on my days off, she wouldn't know most of the time. The situation has meant that the 2 year old has to occupy herself when I'm homeschooling too. I just find it a big head fuck.

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MyGoMargot · 22/02/2021 18:04

Any age-gap can be challenging/drive you mad

I think parenting is challenging, full stop. Trying to do it well is exhausting

Duolino · 22/02/2021 18:59

"Trying to do it well is exhausting" think you've clinched it there @mygomargot

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