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Help and Support for a vulnerable single mum

3 replies

positivity123 · 21/02/2021 15:30

My cousin is 34 and is expecting her first baby. She was adopted by my aunt and uncle when she was 9 after a very abusive family life then extended time in care. Due to her very difficult beginning she has attachment issues, can't hold down a job, has very little emotional control etc. It wasn't the easiest adoption and she moved out by 18 then moved to the other end of the country. Everyone has been getting on ok for a few years as all boundaries were being stuck too so even though my aunt and uncle weren't close to her they maintained a relationship.
She's now pregnant and we are all very concerned about the well being of the baby. It isn't feasible for her to move close to my aunt again due to issues in the past and we aren't close enough (geographically or emotionally) to offer real support. Does anyone know of any organizations that would be able to support her when the baby arrives?
She isn't a drug addict or in a violent relationship but I don't believe she has the abilities required to care for a baby. Due to the circles she mixes in and her background she's very wary of social services. Please can any one help? Feel so worried about this baby.

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FiFia · 21/02/2021 16:48

How do you mean she doesn’t have the ability to look after a child?

There is some support with midwives, healthcare workers where you take your baby to get weighed. Mine were lovely. But intimately she can choose for them to have limited involvement. Does she acknowledge she may need extra support?

There are a few charities that can help, there’s one I know of that’s called Gingerbread, or she could do parent & baby classes. Other than that, the only option may be to contact social services, but we don’t know the actual reason for your concerns. Or if you’d like to go into more detail?

positivity123 · 21/02/2021 20:20

Thanks for replying, the ginger bread trust looks really helpful.
Our concern as a family is that she lacks the understanding of what being a mum entails. She struggles to look after herself.
She is always in debt, at the moment she says she doesn't have the money for food but when ever we send over any money it's always followed up by more and more demands.
She gets angry about everything. My worry is that when she comes home with a newborn with no support she will neglect it.

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Thatwentbadly · 21/02/2021 22:35

As someone who has been in care she will be offered additional support by her HV.

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