Help me come up with the best action plan

[Wagamas]

New mum here! I'm looking to gain some independence and stability, and want to work out what's best for me and dc. I know I havent put myself in the best of positions but I'm determined to make it better.

I found out I was pregnant just before the first lockdown, and had come out of work weeks before it all kicked off. I couldnt of predicted the lockdown nor the pregnancy happening, and consequently I've been out of employment ever since. Due to many reasons I've had to live with my dp and his parents (we are early twenties) but now my family home is being sold and I have a chance to move out with dm.

This is my future plan, to move out with dm as I currently dont have a place of my own and if anything was to happen between me and dp I would have no where to turn. I dont feel comfortable going ahead with life like that, although dp keeps reminding me that he likes the set up he has, he doesnt seem to understand staying with him offers me no security. I'm not on the lease in his home, so technically I am considered homeless as was told via an advisor on shelter. I can opt to try private renting on benefits, but the future of that is looking very bleak as I would need to try and find a property near dp and family. There is little to no options out there!

So to conclude, move out with dm and contribute to the rent so I can financially ground myself to a house. Then as dc gets around to the 1 year mark look for a part time job, in the meantime maybe look into home studying if I can depending on how the single parenting life works out. I want to strive to get a high earning job.

The only thing I wonder is I see alot of posters on here saying about getting married or having a civil partnership to protect yourself. I've tried to look into the pros and cons of this but cant seem to make sense of it. Dp has a full time job but not a very high salary so dont know if that would count towards anything.

I feel very vulnerable as a young ftm with a newborn and essentially no stability to offer myself or dc. In all does this sound like the best route to take? Am I missing something. My biggest fear is finding myself like other posters I've read on here where they seem to end up seriously disadvantaged due to being a sahp or out of work. Any suggestions more than welcome! Thanks!

Is there anything to suggest you and DP would split.up? I'd want to start living as a little family rather than with my mum at your age.

@PlantDoctor we've been having lots of arguments recently, and the strain of all of this on my shoulders definitely doesnt help. In an ideal situation I would live with my dp in our own home but we are far off from being able to afford that. So in the mean time I'd really like to be able to have a secure home for me and dc. Everytime we argue it's a case of me packing my bags and going back home and I would rather avoid the to and throwing by just having my own space

I think you are muddling two issues. One is where to live. The other is what happens if you break up with DP.

It sounds like you've already decided to live with your mum in the short term. I probably wouldn't be trying to find a place to rent on my own in your situation, so until you feel comfortable living with DP that's probably your best option.

Definitely don't get married if you think you might break up. I don't know much about getting money from an unmarried partner in the event of a split, but he would be liable to pay child support. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance1/choosing-how-to-arrange-child-maintenance/check-what-child-maintenance-arrangement-is-right-for-you/

What other posters are talking about is being a sahp with no income prospects, which is a vulnerable position if you were to break up wherever you are living. You should think about the types of job you are qualified to do and come up with a plan to get back to work after maternity leave whether you are together with DP or not, since it sounds like he doesn't earn enough to support your family on his own. What did you do before having DC?