Please read fully.
So I had a new partner and I got pregnant pretty soon after we got together. I'd known him for years as we once worked on a project together back in 2014. We tried to date before but I had other life things going on. We stayed in touch and during lockdown we began a relationship. He was excited about the pregnancy to begin with as this was his first child. After a few weeks he started to distance himself and things got awkward. I think he has his friends warning him against going all in with the family plan he'd proposed in the beginning because they've had bad experiences. Within 6 weeks of me finding out we were broken up.
We had quite a big altercation, I wish I could explain what happened on here but it's too specific and if he ever stumbled across this he would know this is about him, but long story short his behaviour was craaaaazy that day.
I sent him updates about the baby at his families request throughout pregnancy which he ignored.
My 7yr old son and I (different father) ended up being HOMELESS because he convinced me to give notice on my beautiful apartment and then before the breakup he backed out of our plan to move in together. My landlord refused to cancel my notice and due to being so sick during the whole pregnancy I had to shut my business down.
Throughout my pregnancy his family knew I was in hospital for a lot of it. He NEVER checked on me or the baby from 9 weeks (when we broke up)
The day I went into labour I called him and told him I was in labour. I had to convince him to
Come. He came and was excellent. I was determined to put all the issues to the side and ignore the fact that he hadn't been here, hadn't done anything he said he's do and had been spreading rumors about me to make himself sound better after the breakup.
When the baby was born he was great the first 24 hours. I chose the baby's name a few months before she was born. Let's say her name is Lily Rose Andrews, (middle name after my mother). He didn't say anything initially but within a week he started to say he didn't like the name and he wants her to have his surname. Let's pretend it's Frenelucia (it's an equally odd and hard to pronounce name). I was annoyed at this but I compromised and agreed to double barrel and let him also come up with another middle name. He also wanted to change babies FIRST name to Margaret.
He didn't like this idea and argued with me saying I wasn't compromising.
The day after the argument he said he wanted a DNA test because I've refused to compromise??? There had never been a question of paternity. He also said he didn't want to talk until that was done. I was fine with that because it meant peace. He then went on to send my family and I a slew of messages, harassing us.
When I went to the DNA centre, he had told them the baby's name is Margaret Frenelucia😒😒
I corrected them and told them her actual name.
So just to recap, he hadn't been around during the pregnancy, he hasn't contributed anything financially aside from a pack of vests. Lily is 2 months old and he's seen her once since birth.
I now don't want him on the birth certificate because of his unpredictable behaviour or to give her a double barrel name.
Please tell me what you think