Feeling lonely . FTM

[SABDELLAHI]

Hello

I am 25 years old and have a 9 week old baby boy who I love. However I’ve been so lonely, my partner works long days and leaves early in the morning so often struggle to find things to pass the time. I try and get out walks which help but I need human interaction due to lockdown I can't. Is anyone else the same and have any tips or fancy chatting?

I'm finding this experience of being a mother so hard. The baby screaming for feed and it takes a couple of minutes to get formula milk ready for him. Changing him after a bath is a real chore. He cries and cries impatiently waiting to get it over with. I have to take a break sometimes and leave the room for a few minutes it breaks my heart to see little one crying so much and I can't sooth him fast enough.

He has very bad reflux so it's 10 times more harder.

Will it get easier ?

Hi I am past that stage but I feel so sorry for any new mums at the moment with so little support available. I am sure more people will be along for support and reassurance soon, but the relentlessness of those early days DOES get better. Also there is nothing wrong with letting him cry for a few minutes to give yourself a break if that is what you need to do. I can't advise much on the reflux but I am sure someone else will be able to x

Don’t forget you can form a support bubble with a friend as you have a child under the age of one. You are also allowed to go for walks with one other person. Your baby will get easier very soon, hang in there!

Hi OP. I have an 11 week old refluxy baby, so I know exactly how you feel. It really is hard, however much you love your baby it can be a lonely and isolating time. Let me know if you want to chat on here any time.

Aww, so sorry to hear you're feeling lonely. I am a FTM too, my baby is 12 weeks old. I know how you're feeling, it is so hard with lockdown and not being able to interact with other adults properly.
Do you have a prep machine for his milk? I have found this one of the best things I have bought, after getting so stressed waiting for a bottle to be ready while the baby screams, this machine literally takes a minute, if that. It's been a saviour for me.
In terms of reflux, my baby suffered really badly with it a few weeks ago. I've recently changed him into MAM bottles as I found he was sucking too much air in with the tommee tippee ones and that was causing the reflux to be worse. He's still sick when he lies down but it's no where near as much, I just try and keep him upright for as long as I can after feeding, and burp him numerous times throughout a feed aswell. Hope this helps, and I'm here if you want to chat! :) xx

We moved onto anti reflux milk after trying every other bit of advice for reflux. Just a suggestion if you haven’t already tried that?

Also formula lasts for 2 hours so we worked out roughly how often he’d need a feed and got it ready. We wasted a little bit of formula if he napped through the ‘feed window’ but it saved our sanity. That along with the perfect prep as someone else mentioned.

Hi, thank you all for your responses.

I did buy the prep machine however the one that was delivered was broken I just never had the chance to reorder another one.

The reflux is so bad. His getting better as week goes by. His extremely uncomfortable towards the evenings and would scream bloody murder and end up coughing for no reason . The witch hour cries same time everyday.

How are you mothers finding motherhood in lockdown ? How do you cope ? Did you get baby blues at the start ? Can you please share your experiences?

My little one was 7 months when lockdown started, nearly 19 months now. I had extended my maternity leave by 2 months and had lots of lovely plans, none of which happened of course. The worst part has been my family (who live in UK, I am in Ireland) missing out on so much of her life so far. I am aware many others have it far worse though. It must be very tough for new mums.

Ring the GP about his reflux, they will help. Order/replace perfect prep, life saver especially through the night. Look at Mam bottles they have extra slow teats which may help.

Also, im sure you can meet with another person as you have a child under 1, and if not just meet up with a friend for a walk, your sanity is important. You're allowed a support bubble.

Reflux: have you titled his cot up slightly so he's not completely flat on his back? Try spending a good five / ten mins burping him in different directions and don't stop at the first burp- there might be more. Reflux is horrible but it does get easier.

You're in the "4th trimester" and you're almost at the end of the toughest part. Around 12-14 weeks I find you do turn a corner; it gets a bit easier and you start getting more back from your baby.

So sad for you you're a FTM during lockdown. It's hard enough being a ftm when you're free to go to playgroups etc. You've just been so unlucky. Hope it gets easier for you soon. As soon as the parent-baby groups start and you meet new mums things will be much easier

Agree with the perfect prep machine- don't know how anyone lived without them!

@AnnLouiseB

Hi OP. I have an 11 week old refluxy baby, so I know exactly how you feel. It really is hard, however much you love your baby it can be a lonely and isolating time. Let me know if you want to chat on here any time.

Hi how are you coping with your little one ? Have you hit the 4 months old sleep regression?

Hi, how did you make milk cold using mam bottles. They have holes at the buttom of the bottles.

Just curious how does everyone make their formula milk for their little one ? I make it fresh each time and I'm so sleep deprived constantly waking up before my little guy wakes up to make sure he gets his feed on time.

@SABDELLAHI hi OP, I'm ages with you and have a 14 week old, same situation with baby & a partner that works long hours. It gets really lonely sometimes. I'm BF so don't have much advice on feeding ect but here if you want a chat🙋🏼‍♀️