18 month old - discipline/telling No - not sure of my parenting style

[ManCubsMama]

I am a FTM to a very happy but strong willed 18 month old. I am pretty relaxed and he has a lot of freedom to play, he is adventurous and a climber and I wouldn’t say I am precious with him, I like to encourage his curiosity and generally let him explore and do what he wants to.

But sometimes he does things I would rather he didnt, such as bash my kitchen units with his toys or climb up on our dining chairs, get big wood logs out of the fire wood basket etc etc.

When I tell him No he laughs, when I take the toy away (if for example he is bashing my units or the metal pedal bin etc) he balls his eyes out until the toy is given back to him. I don’t know what to do, it’s not a huge problem but I can see that if I don’t get a grip of it then I think he will think he is the boss and we have no say in what he is and isn’t allowed to do.

I have been researching different types of parenting ie Montessori and I am reading the Danish way of parenting, but I cant identify which style I naturally align with most.

Any advice?

This is a really tricky age - old enough to get up to mischief but too young to understand any form of discipline. I found it the hardest age of all!

My parenting style was to say Yes as often as I could, but when I said No, to stick with that, follow through and not back down.

Just tell him no and move him away from the things he’s bashing, etc. Try to explain to him why you’re moving him, e.g. “that bashing is too loud and might break your toy- let’s go over here and play with X”- something you have that he can make a noise with. Be firm, don’t give into screams. It’s a faze, my ds was exactly the same at the age. He’s 25 months now and still very strong willed!

Following with interest. DS - also 18 months - thinks me saying no is the most hilarious thing ever. I try not to say it more than once now and then just distract him instead rather than getting into a debate about it. I'm not sure it's really working but I sent a video of him laughing at me when I tried to tell him not to do something to my mum and she said that I was exactly the same so it's karma. Not massively helpful...

I distract if my son is doing something naughty. I'll pick him up and love him and away from where he is not meant to be and say "oh look at this!" And do something else. Usually works.

Don't give the toy back to him otherwise you're rewarding the tantrum. It's hard, but you have to stick to your guns on the issues that are non negotiable. Try distraction as much as possible - oooh look there's a bird or let's play hide and seek.

My DS sounds similar. He is now 23 months and just starting to accept “no” and follow through with what you’re asking him to stop doing. I think he’s better now he understands more. I’m sure you’ll see a change in your DS as his comprehension improves.

He left the park sobbing but actually holding my hand walking yesterday - massive progress from dragging him kicking and screaming!

I found with under 2's, distraction or substitution worked better than 'no', although I do use it when necessary. So if he's banging cabinets with a toy, I'd try to move him to a toy than needs banging, or let him hit things with a balloon for instance. If he wants to climb then find a safe climbing activity (if possible).

And yes as pp said disgrace and redirect.

Don’t give the toys back! And a definite yes to distraction at this age x

Thanks everyone, will try the distraction technique. I think it is an age thing, which is why I want to make sure I nail it now so I don’t have an even bigger challenge later on.