How much do you worry about your kids and when is it concerning?

[WorryingMum2029]

I’m not really sure if this is a new thing but it’s definitely getting worse.

I just worry about them so much and constantly think that these terrible accident could befall them simply because I know they happen.

Eg my daughter (10) asked to go out and play on the trampoline and I had to force myself to let her because I know how dangerous they are and all the accidents that happen. I’ve said she can only do it if she comes to the window every few minutes to tell me she’s ok. I’m working so can’t go and just supervise and I do want her having fresh air.

Also every time they are on their bikes or scooters I’m constantly awaiting a fall, picturing teeth knocked out etc.

I can’t sleep at night unless I’ve checked they’re breathing etc.

My parents were really strict and I can see myself ending up the same way purely because I’m so scared of anything happening to them. I’d rather prevent situations as much as I can. I know their friends similar ages go to the park alone but I couldn’t allow that because of possible accidents.

Is this just normal or am I going OTT with it? No other anxiety type symptoms other than this.

Accidents and injuries are an important part of growing up, little else educates about risk as effectively. Children mostly bounce, they grow new teeth and cuts and grazes heal. It's your job to prevent fatal or life changing harm befalling them but trying to wrap them in cotton wool until they're 18 just creates resentment and young adults with even less ability to judge risk than they would normally have.

I'm mum to a nearly 1 year old and I can imagine being exactly the same when he is older. I get so anxious and worried something is wrong. He started nursery and I'm so uncomfortable about him going. Not because I don't trust them it's because I've zero control over him. This is something I'm working on because I don't want to be like this when he's older. It's really tough

I try not to worry as yes there are so many things that can happen - but most of the time they don’t. And I can’t worry about every possibility. My son did get extremely ill when he was a toddler and needed an emergency operation - but the nhs did a wonderful job and he was ok. Most of the time our kids end up ok as long as we take reasonable precautions.

This is too much worry, IMO. Checking your preteens are breathing? Making your 10yr old check in every few minutes? That's not that normal, I'd call that anxiety, not worry.

I think I’m just trying to anticipate anything that could possibly go wrong in the hope that it doesn’t and if it does then I know I did everything I could to prevent it.

The things you hear of happening to children just terrifies me.

Even if they trip or knock something over and make a noise in the house in another room they shout ‘it’s ok mum’ cos they know I’ll be panicking thinking they’ve hurt themselves. So they are picking up on it which I’m sure is not a good thing at all.

I don’t know how to stop being like this though. If I just force myself to stop thinking about what can go wrong it feels like I’m inviting it.

It might seem extreme, but honestly, speak to your GP, or self refer to your local mental health service. It sounds like you're catastrophising every day situations. Some talking therapy will help, especially if you think it stems from how your own parents behaved.

I've taken the step to seek help myself in the past and it's one of the best things I ever did.

I might do that lion.

I’m sure lockdown is making everything worse as normally they’re sort of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ at school for so much of the time.

Wow your post is exactly like me so I've no advice. I know I am OTT with them, DH tells me I am. I have anxiety so think it's that too

I think it can only be a good move. You've nothing to lose :)

I wish everyone had access to therapy, it's amazing.