Toddlers who hate messy play / crafts etc?

[mynameiscalypso]

Does anyone have one of these? DS is 18 months and goes to a lovely nursery 4 days a week. Today his key worker said they were worried because he has zero interest in the activities they set up (think finger painting, mark making, water okay, sensory stuff). There are lots of things he loves doing - reading, duplo, stacking things, climbing, playing with cars, anything that involves a ball - but he just has zero interest in anything that involves sitting down and getting messy unless it involves eating which he is very enthusiastic about. Last week, for example, there was an activity where they had to 'paint' coloured yoghurt onto bread (no idea why). DS just ate the bread and then the yoghurt and didn't attempt to do any 'painting'. I have noticed this too to a certain extent but just figured that he was a toddler but apparently his peers are much more engaged with activities. Is this something I should worry about? My gut says no but there's part of me that is concerned nursery have flagged it for a reason!

I don’t think it’s anything to worry about - he’s interested in many other aspects of play!

In fact he sounds EXACTLY the same as one of my DC at that age, who is still not remotely into ‘arts and crafts’ 10yrs later

Seems early to make sweeping statements. At 18 months my LO was all physical in her play, around 2 we discovered colouring and then crafts, last few weeks at 3.5 it’s cars and mini toys and making up stories. Don’t pigeon hole him and keep offering a range of activities, he may surprise you.

My dd nearly 4 hates any mess on her such as mud, paint, food, water etc. Took her to messy play every week when she was a baby/toddler, she was always the only one spotless at the end. Total waste of money that was!
She will sit and watch me do a craft activity but not really bothered to do it herself. She likes colouring though.
All kids are different, don't worry.

My oldest DD loved craft and messy play always came out of nursery covered in glitter/mud/paint. 10 years on still loves any kind of art and craft. Younger DD hated having dirty hands wouldn't do any messy play and still doesn't want to make things of do craft, she is much more academic head in a book type and loves writing. Kids are just different

I work in a nursery we do lots of sensory or messy play. It’s not vital that your child engages as such, but it is good for them. That kind of play is a valid exploratory way of learning, but also helps with motor skills, it can be a precursor to writing skills.
We try to encourage the reluctant toddlers and go at their pace, maybe just getting them to dip a finger in at first for example.
Don’t worry about it but ask the staff to keep you informed about how it’s going.

DS hated any kind of messy play and would freak out if his hands got mud on them. He had to be coaxed into doing anything remotely creative in Reception. He's in Year 2 now and any suggestion of an art activity is met with an audible moan!

It's just who he is.

Is it a sensory issue for him?

My messy-play avoider was more disinterest, he didn’t care about being messy or dirty

@MyGoMargot

I don’t think it’s anything to worry about - he’s interested in many other aspects of play!

In fact he sounds EXACTLY the same as one of my DC at that age, who is still not remotely into ‘arts and crafts’ 10yrs later

I'm not into arts and crafts at all so I wouldn't be surprised if he finds it all very tedious too 😂

@MissyB1

I work in a nursery we do lots of sensory or messy play. It’s not vital that your child engages as such, but it is good for them. That kind of play is a valid exploratory way of learning, but also helps with motor skills, it can be a precursor to writing skills. We try to encourage the reluctant toddlers and go at their pace, maybe just getting them to dip a finger in at first for example. Don’t worry about it but ask the staff to keep you informed about how it’s going.

Thanks; that's a really useful perspective. I did presume there was some reason for it developmentally so I guess it's just a matter of giving him the opportunities so if/when he is interested, it's there for him.

Plenty of children don't like the feeling of messy/sticky things.

One of mine used to prefer dry things, like a tray of dried lentils, he would scoop and pour them, or use a bit like a mini sandpit, or dry pasta in tubs, would spend ages pouring back and forth. Would your child maybe like that instead?

Thank you so much everyone - you've totally quietened down the PFB part of my brain that was going into overdrive when you all talk a lot of sense. He's absolutely allowed to find activities boring and I need to remember that and embrace the fact that it means I'm not forced to do them too.

@PracticingPerson

Plenty of children don't like the feeling of messy/sticky things.

One of mine used to prefer dry things, like a tray of dried lentils, he would scoop and pour them, or use a bit like a mini sandpit, or dry pasta in tubs, would spend ages pouring back and forth. Would your child maybe like that instead?

I think he'd like that in the sense that there would be lots of things for him to eat that he knows he shouldn't and therefore can laugh hysterically at me when I try to stop him. I think you are right though that he probably likes dry stuff more than wet stuff - he was very unsure about bubbles in his bath for example!

Yes, almost a relief not having to get the paints out 😳 😉

My son is exactly like this. He's 3 and hated getting any mess on him so he wouldn't have liked the yoghurt thing either. He's really into numbers, baking, recognising letters and building blocks etc etc etc but he hates painting or the crafts they do at preschool because he doesn't like his fingers getting "mess" on them. "oh dear, mess!" he says. I think it's just his preference and I'm not worried about it. He has other strengths.

My 4 year old hates getting his hands dirty. The school have asked about it. He just doesn't like anything on his hands. He loves playing in water so likes to wash his hands. But it's not just dirty stuff, the face he pulls when he has hand sanitizer on.. you have to really get him to rub it in or he just pats a little and wipes it off.
Some kids just don't like the feeling of things on their hands/skin

My three year old has absolutely no interest in messy play activities & his nursery used to blather on about it all the time as if it was this huge issue. He just doesn’t like it. He enjoys a huge variety of activity & is reaching all expected milestones but he doesn’t want to stick his hands in a pile of spaghetti or jelly and frankly, nor would I.

Mark-making & motor skill development are important but they really don’t need to be messy. Unless you have other concerns that might be linked to a sensory issue, I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

I think that's really crappy of nursery to raise it as a 'concern'. My 27 month old has only recently got into arty things but even then she'd much prefer to be running and climbing. Different kids have different interests! I'd be letting them know that kind of feedback is unhelpful! X

✋ 3yo DS really isn't keen - will do painting but I have to have a damp flannel to wipe his hands every few minutes. Will now do the odd messy play activity but much prefers dry sensory stuff like uncooked rice or pasta, or water play.

We went to a messy play session when he was 1 and all the other kids were having a whale of a time in some shaving foam and he just glared at me and crawled to the door!

@Missingthebridegene

I think that's really crappy of nursery to raise it as a 'concern'. My 27 month old has only recently got into arty things but even then she'd much prefer to be running and climbing. Different kids have different interests! I'd be letting them know that kind of feedback is unhelpful! X

In nursery's defence, it was very much framed as a 'what kinds of thing does he like doing at home because we don't want him to be bored here' rather than an issue with his development per se. Because of covid, there's been less parent interaction than they would normally have so it's definitely done with his best interests at heart. I'm just an overthinker!

Thanks again everyone, this is so reassuring. I have zero concerns about his development and he has no problems with putting his hands in a bowl of cake batter to swipe a handful before it's cooked so I'm pretty sure there's no sensory issues at play. I think he just doesn't see the point in messy play for the sake of it. I can totally imagine him giving a similar glare @Potterythrowdown if I'd ever tried to do something similar!