Navigating a newborn and a 1 year old

[bubs765]

Hey, has anyone had the experience of a newborn with another baby who does not sleep through or still feeds at night? My boy will be 14 months when his brother is born and I know at 1 he should be weaning off formula but I'm concerned he might still want a nightfeed, if not he will definitely wake for something like a normal 14 mo. How do you navigate this if you are on your own? My partner will help I'm sure but with him working full time the majority will fall on me. My pfb fed every hour until 1.5 months old, if this is the case again, how can I attend to both my babies at the same time? TIA for advice
Ps please no shaming of my partner saying he should do more etc, I imagine he will take on a lot of the care for the 1 yo but keen to see how others work things, thank you

Well if your formula feeding, your partner should do more. Why should it fall to you at night only? Surely daytime your both working, your ‘job’ if looking after two babies all day, his is elsewhere. It’s not like your planning on spending the days having leisurely massages and reading long novels.

I would say when baby is small dh does all wakings with toddler, and dh does the first morning feed with baby and gives toddler breakfast so you get an hour to yourself before he goes to work

@bubs765 My boys were 17 months apart, so not quite your 14 months, but I can totally relate!

I want to start with something that someone else with a close gap told me before I had my boys, "There will be times when all three of you are crying - and that's ok!" It definitely had its moments in the early days of finding a rhythm and pattern, but now that they are 4 and 2.5, having them close was the best thing!! I wouldn't change it at all!

My husband was working full time up in London when my youngest was born, and he had to commute 1hr30 each way, so when he was home in the evenings he was exhausted (as was I, obviously). But we saw our relationship at that point as one where he needed to be working so that I could care for the boys - that's just how our relationship works - so I 100% get your stance on your partner. Mine did help, but we each have our roles etc.

I'm not sure when you're due, but could you start weaning your 14 month old now? Or start transitioning to normal milk now so that he's used to it when Baby 2 is here? Getting him onto milk will take a little off your plate as far as preparing formula etc. My oldest was happy with cold milk, so I had a bottle of milk ready in a cool bag in our room, so if he woke up, I could just hand it to him in his bed and he would put himself back to sleep. We also got him a white noise machine to help lull him back to sleep and to block out any newborn cries in the middle of the night to prevent waking him up.

Hope some of that helps!

@lovelsa thank you for the practical advise! He is 9 months old so not ready to transition yet but we will start as soon as he's 12 months :)
I'm the same with my partner, I know he will do literally everything he can but his work is demanding and if he's burnt out he's not going to be able to earn money to keep us afloat