My teenager worries about the size of her breasts

[Parvathi]

Hello Parents mums dads anyone! My 14 years old daughter worries about the size of her breasts and she is making me worried because mine was fully developed by the age of 15 and hers is small, is it normal?? should I take her doctors? Please help

What would the doctor do??

Why not teach her about body positivity instead? What's so bad about having small breasts?

She's 14, plenty of time to grow yet! If concerned take her to the GP, but it's pretty normal.

I didn’t even have any until I was 16. Normal is a wide range.
So long as she has other signs puberty, like a period, pubic hair, growth in height, it is ok.

I would also encourage her to have a good positive body image, is she petite and all in proportion? Does she have low body fat or is underweight as this will make a difference,

I didn’t get proper boobs until my mid 30s. Flat as a pancake until middle age and fatness kicked in. Lost the weight, kept the 34DDs.

Completely and utterly normal for a 14 year old girl to have small breasts, indeed, for an adult woman too.

Please instill confidence in her. We come in all shapes and sizes. Help her to enjoy and celebrate her own female body exactly as it is.

I was flat chested at 16, by 19 I was an F cup
We all develop differently

I have told her a zillion times but she starts crying saying I do not care I am so tired because I am a single parent

Thank you

Thank you.

She is not underweight, normal stature but she still wants to lose weight. She is 5 ft, thank you

I'm not sure why you're considering taking her to the doctor about this? She may have finished developing and stay at a smaller breast size, like many other women in the world. Or she may grow bigger breasts as she gets older. Mine seemed to grow the most when I was in my early 20s!

Thank you Amy. I was the same and I have told her but no change!!

I did but she thinks I do not care or I am neglecting her.

Perfectly normal, 14 is still so young, l was still in a vest at that age and so were lots of others.
I am 52, and flat chested, it is a blessing because l can lie in my front, l don't suffer with back pain like my friends who are busty, and l have still always felt very feminine.

Thank you. I have told her but I feel as though I am going around in circles !!

@Parvathi maybe something like this would help her?

www.hive.co.uk/Product/Nicola-Morgan/Body-Brilliant--A-Teenage-Guide-to-a-Positive-Body-Image/23588820

I know what you mean. Thank you

Thank you

Hasn't every teenage girl in history thought this?

She could probably benefit from some understanding and validation rather than being told that her feelings are incorrect or not valid.
It must be difficult being her and it must be difficult being you op, but maybe some listening rather than fixing would help a bit? If you don't feel up to it personally, you may be able to access free or subsidised counselling via your gp or through work if you are employed by a company. Good luck.

Thank you John

Ah! Ha ha prob but as a girl, not me but yes, prob normal

Hi

I understand her worries because I was just the same when I was a teenager and it took me until my 20s to come to terms with my flat chest and not feel inadequate.

One of the worst things people used to say to me is tell me about all the people they knew whose boobs "suddenly grew" when they were late teens / early twenties, as that just made me more miserable. It would have been better to focus on the fact that my body was exactly as it should be and beautiful in its own way.

When I was a teenager I didn't understand that everyone has insecurities and that most people who seemed confident felt the same as me. My best friend for example was very insecure because she had large breasts and developed early, so it just goes to show that we can all be worried about ourselves, whether it is our bodies or some other trait.

I would recommend looking into how you can talk to her about this in a constructive way and avoid getting into a situation where she is encouraged to compare herself to others. Let her talk about it as much as she wants to. Tell her that you understand but try to explain different ways of looking at the situation. E.g., thinking about what her body can do (whether that is sport or dancing around the kitchen to music, being able to draw / paint etc.) rather than what it looks like.

If you think it is appropriate, I recommend the book "Women Don't Owe You Pretty" which I think could be very informative and inspiring for a young woman.

Aww Lucy Thank you so much. Sounds like you are an inspiring woman. I know what you mean and I have told her this so many times anyway I will look into it, the book you recommended. I appreciate your advice very much.